What do you tell a potential date when they ask what you do for a living, when you are on disability and have been chronically ill for the last past years?
I guess be honest. It’s hard dating with lupus many times it scares people off.
I was very lucky to find my husband he is very understanding and always on my side no matter what every time I been to the hospital he was always right next to me. I love him so much he been always here I always have his support and he will always have my
Be always true to your self and others
You tell them the damn truth, and if they don't like it, you tell them to go to hell! If that is the only question they have to ask it reveals the most important thing about their character: they are shallow and only concerned with taking. You did not choose your fate; these unfortunate circumstances were thrust upon you without any say from you. That cannot be helped, and it is nothing to be ashamed of. There are plenty of people who are compassionate and understanding of your plight and will be your friend regardless of your illness and suffering. If that isn't enough to launch a relationship that is more than a friendship, then it will just have to do.
Good luck,
Thomas Franklin
You're right, so I don't tell them my medical history until I get to known them better. Is that ok or is it deceitful?
haitianbarbie88 said:
I guess be honest. It's hard dating with lupus many times it scares people off.
Tell them you’re a writer! (Smile)
Hmmmm I do journal a lot.
Nell109 said:
Tell them you're a writer! (Smile)
Be honest from the beginning so you don't have to waste your time with someone who is not worthy!
LupusRRJ said:
Hmmmm I do journal a lot.
Nell109 said:Tell them you're a writer! (Smile)
On a lighter note, I introduce myself as “retired,” lol! (I’m 37, you should see their faces, lol!)
Geneva21 your dogs are beautiful.
geneva21 said:
Be honest from the beginning so you don't have to waste your time with someone who is not worthy!
Tell the truth. If you phrase it as, I have lupus and haven’t been able to work the past few years but I hope to work again in the future, then that sounds better than I’m disabled. I was totally upfront with my husband when we were dating and he was fine with it. He stumbled a bit when I got really sick a few years ago but we worked through it. He took over making dinner since that’s my worst time of day as far as pain and he lowered his expectations as far as housework goes. Now he just wants me to spend as much time as I can with our kids even if it means projects and their messes. That said I did date a few people who had the attitude of you look fine so then you should be able to do x, y, and z. They did not last long, I have enough guilt about my lack of energy to allow anyone else to make me feel even worse. I’ve been married for 20 years now so there are men out there who will see the whole you and not just the facade we all put on. Good luck, I hope he’s a keeper.
Thanks, those two are gone now and I have 2 chihuahuas now. I still love to look at my 2 beauties though!
LupusRRJ said:
Geneva21 your dogs are beautiful.
geneva21 said:Be honest from the beginning so you don't have to waste your time with someone who is not worthy!
Best answer, don’t give one… your finances are not a determining factor for love…In the meantime, volunteer and sit on boards or committees. They can provide a great source of information.
Great question ! I am online dating or looking. I have wondered the same thing. I have thought about putting it in my profile. I did not add it to my profile. This whole process is tiring … I wish you much happiness
Flower, join the group single, divorced, widowed living with Lupus that was just started and give some advice. we welcome anything you have to say.
Flower said:
Great question ! I am online dating or looking. I have wondered the same thing. I have thought about putting it in my profile. I did not add it to my profile. This whole process is tiring ... I wish you much happiness
I'm exactly in the same situation as you. I have started online dating and the first question always seems to be what do you do as a living. Extremely frustrating at times. I simply say I am not working right now and I leave at that. I totally agree with the answer above from Unshoreandscared. Your finances and how you pay for you daily expenses are not determining factors for love or any of their business. We are more than a career or job. We all have something to offer qualities, personalities and gods gifts and that has nothing to do with what you do as a living. In due time you can share that information but I wouldn't on a first date.
I am going through this. Men ask what I am doing for living. …I say I am retired. I am also doing online dating. When I do develop some sort of a relationship I do let them know that i have Lupus. Then they ask if I can still have intimacy…I tell them NO. To me that person is not even worth my time. Margaret
Wow! now I know what to do. Thank all of you for the feedback God bless you and keep up the strength.