be completely honest. because if things go further with this person, odds are that more things are going to pop up that will cause the true answer to come out if you're not trying to lose that person. best wishes!!
It’s been a long time ago, but I found out about the lupus when I was engaged. I was so horrified that I would be permanently disfigured and sick, that I called my fiancé who was out of state at the time, and broke it off. He wouldn’t let me. He promised to stick with me no matter what. It’s been over 30 years now, and the majority of them he did not understand what I was enduring, but eventually we got on the same page. Life was not always easy, but when you are determined, it can work.
My situation is different because my hon was already devoted to me before we got the word. However, he had been putting up with a sickie the entire time we were together, with no name to put to it. I honestly think that was worse. When you can name it, you can fight it. You just have to want it badly enough. Not everyone out there is going to want to deal with this, but when you find one who will, your life will change forever. The choice what to say and when is difficult, and I think is dependent upon the people involved. Follow your heart. Never tell a lie. Become a sper good listener. Maybe there will be fewer questions. 
I wish I had better advice, but I do send you prayers this will work out just the way it should for you.
Ellen
Just had this experience! I was upfront about wearing a wig (if he didn't like it tough). He was fine with it. After going around in circles about my being unemployed, I finally just said I am waiting to see if I get approved for my disability after having lupus, fibro, Bipolar II,, etc. affect my work. Totally understood. And we are still together. My therapist said it's good to let them know upfront before getting into anything serious. No surprises. And I figure it weeds out the bad apples!! :-) But you do what is comfortable for you. Another guy though kept asking over and over and I finally told him all about it. Never heard from him. Bad apple. :-) If I was able to find someone as great as my boyfriend (and I have been praying for someone like him), then you will too!!
Good to know there is some good apples out there LOL. The dating world is hard to navigate.
Pyxie said:
Just had this experience! I was upfront about wearing a wig (if he didn't like it tough). He was fine with it. After going around in circles about my being unemployed, I finally just said I am waiting to see if I get approved for my disability after having lupus, fibro, Bipolar II,, etc. affect my work. Totally understood. And we are still together. My therapist said it's good to let them know upfront before getting into anything serious. No surprises. And I figure it weeds out the bad apples!! :-) But you do what is comfortable for you. Another guy though kept asking over and over and I finally told him all about it. Never heard from him. Bad apple. :-) If I was able to find someone as great as my boyfriend (and I have been praying for someone like him), then you will too!!
Be honest but you also don't have to reveal what you're not comfortable telling until you're ready...for instance when I first started dating my boyfriend I was just starting to go through the diagnoses process and wasn't even sure what was going on myself so it was hard to put into words to tell others. Since my ex and I basically broke up because he called me a hypochondriac who wanted attention because I said I was sick all the time I was hestent to tell my current boyfriend. Fortunately he is very understanding and supportive. He's been hinting on proposing so the right person will fall in love with you and not care.
This is not to say that it didn't effect our relationship in the beginning or that it doesn't still effect our relationship sometimes now but I think it's a learning process for both of us and I have to understand I may be the one with the illness but it impacts both of us in different ways.
Also remember that the other person may have "issues" too, meaning when you first start dating we all try to put our best foot forward like we're perfect human beings but everyone has flaws and baggage and we're all vulnerable to the same fears illness or not so I hope that helps!
This helps me. I was wondering the same thing. I asked God, who would want me as sick as i have been.
My ex-husband couldn’t handle things and I sometimes think there will never be anyone that will want to deal with all my “baggage”. However my faith keeps me believing that God doesn’t want me to be alone and he’ll put someone wonderful in my life.
Dating was difficult for me too when I got lupus but unfortunately I didn’t notice until three boyfriends later. I didn’t realize what an affect lupus had on my dating life. I’ve learned that there are people who will be scared off and people who are compassionate and stay, but the ONE THING that will not make it work are MY fears. Once I got too close to a partner I noticed that I would become afraid, afraid that I couldn’t give them a baby, or rely on them so much that they would miss out on their own life, bring them on my roller coaster of downs and ups,but most of all I was afraid that I couldn’t give them everything that I wanted to. But once I faced those fears and many more I knew I was ready to date and be completely honest about my lupus.
I was seeing someone until he found out that I was hospitalized and then found out that I was diagnosed with Lupus. He just disappeared afterward! lol It hurt at first but at least I got to see his true color =)