i hope each of you have enjoyed it. for the most i have. i had a dilemma that i wanted to ask you all about. it seems one of my family members deemed it acceptable to be mean and degrading to my husband today of all days. it hurt him as well as myself. despite that, we both mentally moved through the rest of the day positively. we went to my brother's home with my mom and had a great time.
however, despite my mind being in a decent place despite this person's cruelty. my body has acted like it's been at war ever since. i hurt all over. my chest walls and sternum especially and spreading outward. i wondered if any of you seem to deal with your body 'freaking out' even when your mind isn't. i know lupus doesn't like stress and all. i just wondered how you dealt with it if you had anything similar going on? please advise.
i'm trying to stay on track here. thanks friends and again, Merry Christmas!
Sounds like this person has an issue that probably had nothing to do with either of you and your husband was a convenient target. Ignore the naysayers and consider the source. Don't let A$$s take up room in your mind. I have an EVIL ex husband and I know that is easier said than done, however I do try to ignore the barbs.
Best of luck and enjoy your time with your husband.
Mentally, I have. I just find when anything stressful happens any more, no matter how well I deal mentally that I get all the physical signs of a flare. I just wondered if it was just me that has this issue. It's like my mind and body aren't on the same page at all. As far as your assessment, yep- it was a matter of convenience and we've let it go. I hate that my hubby got hurt. But it's just the physical repurcussions of aggitation in my life that really aggrevate me.
From what I can gather from this site and several others, stress is our number one trigger for a physical flare. Just being ill is stressful enough, add other people being jerks and not understanding and sometimes it just piles on. You are not alone in that even as much as you try to stay calm, life is not that easy. I take some anti-anxiety meds which for me seem to help. I just started them, but already they make a difference. Sounds like you have it under control so good for you!
Excellent Discussion! Since I have been off work and away from people that irritated me constantly, I feel better - definitely my fatigue is better. Trisha
Vicky I have the exact same problem. Stress and strife definitely causes me physical pain. That’s why I say that people don’t realize how much power they have over OUR bodies. I’m the same as you. I try not to let things affect me mentally by just saying, “Who cares?” But my body definitely reacts differently. Whenever I deal with conflict my symptoms come forth. For short-term conflict it’s usually physical pain, but if the conflict continues for days, then in addition to pain I get blurry vision, have memory problems and feel very fatigued where I sleep more than I’m awake. My raynauds also gets worse. I deal with it by giving in to the fatigue and getting as much rest and sleep as possible. If the pain doesn’t go away I’ll take some ibuprofen to take the edge off. I listen to my body as much as possible and do what it wants me to do until I feel better.
This seems to be a common occurence with the autoimmune conditions. I have found that even if I ignore something that is irritating to me or try to put it out of my mind, it still causes a physical reaction causing pain and fatigue to occur. Once our emotions are triggered, then the body seems to react. When that starts happening to me, I try to immediately go to a quiet, undisturbed place and use breathing and prayer/meditation to calm myself before it gets out of hand. Our minds are powerful over our bodies. I try to remember to use that in my favor.
My doctor told me that this is hypersensitivity. Unless you want to drug yourself indefinitely you've got to find a way to use your mind to counteract it. So, I do the best I can.
Hi, Vicky, yes, my body does react to stress or emotional turmoil, which is normal. Some people get heachaches, some stomach aches and others hurt all over. I think it's caused by body parts tensing up. With Lupus, we're just more suseptible to tention. I'm sorry your husband was cruelly picked on, so sad. Sometimes family hurts us the most. I have a suggestion.....this always works to de-stress me but may not work for you because you're probably not a drummer. I used to be in a band but don't have my set anymore. I did keep my sticks, though, so when someone hurts me, I will beat anything and everything with them. I feel so much better afterwards! But find what works for you! : )
It always takes one even on a nice occassion...you may have felt like you and your hubby carried on ok because you was actually convincing your mind that way...the mind is the main control centre for our bodies, so you carried on the day with this actually locked inside you although you thought you was ok and not thinking about it and through this worry which Lupus loves it's caused these issues to come out and show themselves.
Try and rest and be carm and hopefully tomorrow you'll feel slightly better.
I would love to know if anyone would like t start a virtua low-impact yoga or pilates class. I know that wit the time difference it would be difficult. I have several low-impact and made-for-injured users. It might be fun. Just a thought.
Hi Vicky, you don't need to stress !!! go with the flow of enjoying the moment of being Happy !!! Yes it's hard to do that when people around you are acting crazie . The stress of it is causing your body to hurt . Try to relaxe , (if it's possible ), but try not to stress !!! That's the key to it for the pain !!! yeah ! people really don't get it that - That's what cause us to hurt really bad . Hope that things do work out for you and that you have a Happy and safe "New Year! "... talk with you later ....Beverly L.
Thanks for the feedback everyone! I find that mentally I handle stressors well, it's just that my body wants to take over whether I like it or not. I do try to rest when I can. Right now that isn't much as I've started a new job and I'm working a lot. (73 hrs in 7 days) I don't have a choice right now as many of the hours are training hours and aren't physical. Once training is over, I'll have a regular schedule, but this is just to tide me until I get the job I went to school for. It has no physical demands but takes several months to clear security clearances. At any rate, I find it odd how the body just steps up to fight whether you want it to or not. I'd love to do yoga or pilates if I had time :( . Perhaps when things die down I can participate. But I think it would help all of us. Thanks for the feedback! Perhaps it will help others that are in our shoes :)
Vicky, Happy New Year to you and your husband…it is amazing how we can move about our days through stress or conflict. We can teach our minds to tell our bodies to do the motions but deep inside our minds have a memory bank and hold onto the conflict. Allergic was right, most lupies have hypersensitivity …this effects our bodies even though we may not be aware of it. I tend to get migraines after any conflict, stress argument etc…good reason for me to be a non argumententative person. But still if some. Upheaval comes on, I may get through it emotionally but the body pays for days. I then try to pamper my body…it needs recovery and TLC…a warm bath, (my wonderful son will set up the whole works…candles, juice by the tub my laptop on the counter with a movie and a bubble bath ). Laughingly when life is crazy I have always used that old commercial phrase " Calgon, take me away!" Well, it helps! Rub some good Tiger Balm or other muscle reliever on your tender and sore points of your body. I do yoga and that i would reccomend to anybody. you can do it for five minites or five hours lol. Give yourself a good rubdown with your favorite scented body lotion, or even just your hands & feet sometimes, light a candle or two and if your not sensitive to incense light some to make the house smell good. There are different ones that effect each aspect of the body and emotions.etc. Sometimes I’ll just light a scented candle and lay on the floor and stretch my muscles then relax them and lay for five minutes…sort of a mini yoga session lol…this seems to manage the mental and physical release like I imagine and feel the stress object being pushed out of my body using visualization.
I hope you can try some of these tips and they will help. Peace and Love to you for the new year!~Maré
Hopefully when your hours are more stable it might help your health as that's such alot and Vicky that's what flares are all about appearing when we don't need them.
My thoughts and love are with you my friend :) xxx
Hi Flutter bymare, that's is what i do sometimes (lay on the floor and push all STRESS away with deep breathing !!! The bath part has not lived in my life in almost a year now, only because i get out the tub by myself !!!! .... Beverly L.
Yes, Bev. I am very blessed to have my son push me to take a tub bath once in awhile. If it wasn’t for him pushing me I would never get in them. I don’t know what I will do next year as he is 18 and next year will either be in the armed service or away at university. We must push ourselves sometimes to figure out ways to reap benefits though. There are always some ways.
Love & Peace to you.~ Maré
If we would be God, we would zap those people out of their shoes in an instant. Obviously, they are the ones with the problem. I pity them, though. It should be hard to be grouchy. The way I learned to tune my exhusband out for 30 years, I have learned to tune others and their nonesense out. If that does not work, I once placed a restraining order on my exhusband.