My stress levels are very high. I can't get my thoughts together,this week my speech is a little impaired and my patience this week is really short followed by bouts of nausea and now my face is very swollen. I know this must be a flare, but I don't know how long flares should last, and when should I go to the hospital, or should I?
Can anyone offer some advice.
I really haven’t any advice, but thought I’d throw in my two cents and my experience.
I can’t answer the question about how long flares should last because I think it’s different for everyone. I feel like I alternate between minor episodes and major flares…but I don’t recall a remission in recent times. Hopefully that will improve the longer I’m on meds???
I always go to the ER for difficulty breathing and the major stuff. That’s a judgment call you’ll have to make. I went for my kidneys once and waited for 6 hours only to be told to call the nephrologist in the morning. Waste of time and money. But I don’t play around with difficulty breathing. You can’t get to Dr. Petri soon enough. Hang in there!
hey there old friend---i haven't seen your posts for a while. Sorry you are so stressed.
I think there are many ways to deal with stress and everyone has their own way...i think you have done the most important part by recognizing the problem---name it, tame it, right?
For example: when you remember a specific time when you were stressed and couldn't think or get your words right, --when you recall that moment, where do you feel it is your body? head? chest? hands?...after you scan your body, can you describe what it feels like? Check and see...for instance, i am really stressed about the brave speech i posted earlier---i really believed it then, but now I'm scared. I feel like I have bees buzzing around in my head and my shoulders are tired as if from carrying too much of a burden--
so anyway, after i put the feelings into words or pictures I ask my body/self if there is more to the story (informally and internally unless i am working with another person or in the journalingcompanion ( jourmalingcompanion.webs.com )
after the story is told even if it is not finished i usually feel better and have some ideas as to what to do next. If you ever want to work some of the exercises in the journal i will gladly work them with you. I need to use the things in the journal---it is definitively an invention born of necessity.
the jc has several dif things to do---the one above was based on a thing called Focusing here is a little info on that...
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Eugene T. Gendlin From the Author His philosophical books and articles are listed and some of them are available from this web site. They include Experiencing and the Creation of Meaning, (in paperback) and Language Beyond Post-Modernism: Saying and Thinking In Gendlin's Philosophy (edited by David Levin) , both from Northwestern University Press, l997 and A Process Model. Gendlin has been honored three times by the American Psychological Association for his development of Experience |
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My daughter goes to bed and sleeps until the flare symptoms begin to subside. It usually takes at least a couple of days. She has had all of the symptoms you have mentioned and sleep and rest is the best solution to reversing the flare. Good luck and try not to stress, you are not alone.
Thank you everyone for the support. I am lucky to be apart of a caring network of lupus supporters.
Thank you for all your care and support. I love you mom.
Linda Duke said:
My daughter goes to bed and sleeps until the flare symptoms begin to subside. It usually takes at least a couple of days. She has had all of the symptoms you have mentioned and sleep and rest is the best solution to reversing the flare. Good luck and try not to stress, you are not alone.
Get much rest it helps a lot and don’t let little things get to u my doctor told me that stress plays a big part in Lupus just take it one day at a time and rest…
Stress and the weather are the two things that never fail to cause a flare for me. I have to really work to think through some situations to not let them stress me. My daughter recently had her first baby. Both mom and baby had a few complications so I spent five days with them till they were doing better. The stress of a new born’s schedule caused a flare. We lost my Dad and brother within a year of each other and I ended up in the hospital two times with
Lupus and Crohns flaring at the same time. There are some life situations that happen and the stress is unavoidable. It has taken me years to learn how to not let people and every day life get to me. I wish you the best in sorting through your stressful situations. Remember to always listen to your inner voice if you feel you need medical attention.
good advice meme3234
Patter, did you find specific tools for reducing stress that you could share with us?
Hi Janice, i am at my wits end too, so i would love some relaxation too, i cant help thinking about something from yesterday, i feel so upset and used at the moment. Its when someone says one thing and they mean another with me at the moment. I have put a long message on the discussion thing, sorry for going on too much. I know everyone on here is going through stress of some sort of another at the moment, its not easy for any one of us. I am thinking of everyone here and praying things get easier for everyone, love and hugs Astrid40xoxox
Hi astrid, i am so sorry to hear you are stressed too! But to tell you the truth, hearing about your stress makes me feel better---NOT because you are suffering of course! lol that would be awful..no no. I feel better when i knowwe are all in this being human thing together. No I will go and read your discussion. Please know that you are in my prayers too and that it is very much a part of this whole thing to be upset sometime.
I care very much,
janice
There is no one key to reducing stress that I have found. I had always been an introvert and let people push me around cause problems. When my husband lost his health to Fibromyalgia I had to learn to stand up for my family and my self. When people start to mis behave, cause problems or are just nasty, I speak up and put a stop to it. Some one once told me that they choose their battles carefully. Some battles are just not worth fighting and I walk away from them. Also not letting my self get worked up about things. Doing everything I possibly can to make things work in any given situation then I step back and let go, worrying only gives me flares and heart burn. it is all a process that I have to remind my self constantly.
I understand, I stress 24/7, even when I am sleeping, my husband says I talk in my sleep about thngs that bother me. I can't sleep at night for thinking about the what ifs, and other things that I really have no control of, it very fustrating. So I try to relax and not think about those things, but I cant control it and my shoulders always hurt and my body does, even my feet and toes hurt in the night. Good Luck finding a way not to stress, its easier said than done.
Stress is HORRIBLE & A recipe for alot of miserable effects of ANY Chronic Illness, NOT just Lupus! But, when u feel as though you are having bad effects, such as speech issues, swelling that is unusual for you, nausea, then you really need to contact ur doctor to see if they need to do some kind of diff. treatment to help alleviate the symptoms & see why they r happening to u in the first place. Maybe even an anti-anxiety, to help, temporarily so u don't contunue to suffer!?? Better safe than sorry, so if it gets worse or does not go away, then please do get medical help. I really hope u can take a deep breth & relax a bit and let the small stuff not bother you! It really isn't worth it!! I will pray for you & I really hope this soon shall pass!! Keep us informed! Wishing u the BEST!! {{HUGS}} & Blessings! Suzie :0)
Stress does cause us to have flare ups. Sometimes My hands and arms are in pain. I call my doctor and had to be given a higher dose of prednisone. Eventually the pain subsided. I try to rest and pray a lot. My friends and I pray on the phone. I tell myself that whatever symptom I am having, "This Too Shall Pass". It takes awhile, but I eventually feel better.
Hay RELAX , the FLARE will go AWAY .. But only if you RELAX !!! Do something for you and LET any and all other things go (4get about it ) , it not worth your health to be in the hospital wondering WHY am i HERE !!! just Relax AND BREATH . It's okay to comfort yourself and not worry about everything . A couple of months ago i did go through this not able to eat /hold food down , and my face was crazy for anyone to look at me , and every muscle and joint was in VERY bad pain , all due things happening arond the house , the holidays and people visiting , hay that was enough for me to say AM GOING TO SPEND TIME FOR ME .. and noone really wanted to understand but of course , i demanded that moment for ME !!! I use the pharse Quite place to my 11month old grandson when he's sleepy and don't want to go , so find your Quite place and RELAX , it will be okay ..... Beverly L.
Hi Patter, Well done for finding your inner tiger so to speak, we need to speak up to people that arent pleasant to us about whatever. Alot of well people dont understand Lupus. Only yesterday still one of my friends made a really inapproapriate comment, although i have told her whats what loads of times, i thought i couldnt be bothered to go through it all again. I decided to just say, its a disease where it like being allergic to yourself basically, and she seemed to understand that abit more. Its like you have to adapt everything for some people to be able to get through to them. I think some people are just ignorant and others arent that intelligent so its wasting time trying to educate them. Its like bashing your head against a brick wall sometimes. Surely its not that hard to understand that when i look well, that means i am not. And when i have really flushed cheeks that means i am having a flare up, surely its not that difficult to remember that, but because its not affecting them, they must think, why should i bother to remember, i have come to the conclusion everything falls on deaf ears. We do have to stand up for ourselves, otherwise people will try and walk all over us. I have a few people who know too well i cant stand still for too long as it makes me ache more, but they still try and use me as sounding out board keeping me in one spot all the time, so now i have had to get blunt and tell them i have to move, or if not i am going home, their choice at the end of the day isnt it? And if they cant do something like move or stand in shade say, then they arent worth helping are they? I think by what i can glean by the people i have met on here, we are all sensitive and caring people normally, so we dont like to offend anyone, i dont either, but sometimes there comes a time where we have to, when people just wont listen. Its hard enough coping with Lupus without other people making it even harder eh? So we have all got to use our inner tigeress, and protect ourselves, keeping strong although easier said than done sometimes. Anyway take care, love and hugs Astrid40xoxox
Patter said:
There is no one key to reducing stress that I have found. I had always been an introvert and let people push me around cause problems. When my husband lost his health to Fibromyalgia I had to learn to stand up for my family and my self. When people start to mis behave, cause problems or are just nasty, I speak up and put a stop to it. Some one once told me that they choose their battles carefully. Some battles are just not worth fighting and I walk away from them. Also not letting my self get worked up about things. Doing everything I possibly can to make things work in any given situation then I step back and let go, worrying only gives me flares and heart burn. it is all a process that I have to remind my self constantly.
Hi Suzie D, you are so right, that stress will exaccerbate any illness, no matter what it is. When we are stressed everything always seems worse than it is, whether its pain or a certain situation we are dealing with. Its learning how to cope with certain situations and to have faith in ourselves and how we deal with things, and not to listen to other people who dont have a clue about what any of us go through. And if we dont feel good, then when we have a moment, go and put our feet up or sit down and breath slowly just for a few minutes. Or put some soothing music on, whatever makes you personally feel better. I personally give my Yorkshire Terrier a cuddle, which he doesnt complain about, hehe. But each of us has something that makes us feel better, so whatever that is, we have to try and use it as a coping mechanism. I know not always there isnt time to sit down. I remember once years ago about being stressed about this flight i had to go on, and someone recommended me to put a nice smell on a hankie that made me think nice things, and every time i felt uptight of scared to sniff this hankie. We all are have something that makes us feel good, whether it be a nice smell, or something nice to look at, or something good we listen to. So its pulling out one of those things and using them. If you have a favourite photo, get a copy of it, and maybe get it made smaller so that you can have it in your purse, and when stressed get it out have a quick look at it, it might make you feel better, The same with what i did with the scent on the hankie, there are things that are brains associate with better things, and they can help make us feel better. The music one is abit harder, but then if you have a mini MP3 player or IPod load it with favourite soothing tunes or uplifting stuff that makes you feel alot better. I am still woking out how to use my MP3 player, but i am sure i will get there one day, hehe. Anyway these are just suggestions, Thinking of you all, love and hugs Astrid40xoxox
Suzie D. said:
Stress is HORRIBLE & A recipe for alot of miserable effects of ANY Chronic Illness, NOT just Lupus! But, when u feel as though you are having bad effects, such as speech issues, swelling that is unusual for you, nausea, then you really need to contact ur doctor to see if they need to do some kind of diff. treatment to help alleviate the symptoms & see why they r happening to u in the first place. Maybe even an anti-anxiety, to help, temporarily so u don't contunue to suffer!?? Better safe than sorry, so if it gets worse or does not go away, then please do get medical help. I really hope u can take a deep breth & relax a bit and let the small stuff not bother you! It really isn't worth it!! I will pray for you & I really hope this soon shall pass!! Keep us informed! Wishing u the BEST!! {{HUGS}} & Blessings! Suzie :0)
Hi Patter, dealing with people is a very hard job within itself . It's like takeing a child to the candy store and telling them they can't have any candy , but you buy it anyway ... LOL You have the right ideal , just stay strong and don't pay attention to it .... Beverly L.
astrid40 said:
Hi Patter, Well done for finding your inner tiger so to speak, we need to speak up to people that arent pleasant to us about whatever. Alot of well people dont understand Lupus. Only yesterday still one of my friends made a really inapproapriate comment, although i have told her whats what loads of times, i thought i couldnt be bothered to go through it all again. I decided to just say, its a disease where it like being allergic to yourself basically, and she seemed to understand that abit more. Its like you have to adapt everything for some people to be able to get through to them. I think some people are just ignorant and others arent that intelligent so its wasting time trying to educate them. Its like bashing your head against a brick wall sometimes. Surely its not that hard to understand that when i look well, that means i am not. And when i have really flushed cheeks that means i am having a flare up, surely its not that difficult to remember that, but because its not affecting them, they must think, why should i bother to remember, i have come to the conclusion everything falls on deaf ears. We do have to stand up for ourselves, otherwise people will try and walk all over us. I have a few people who know too well i cant stand still for too long as it makes me ache more, but they still try and use me as sounding out board keeping me in one spot all the time, so now i have had to get blunt and tell them i have to move, or if not i am going home, their choice at the end of the day isnt it? And if they cant do something like move or stand in shade say, then they arent worth helping are they? I think by what i can glean by the people i have met on here, we are all sensitive and caring people normally, so we dont like to offend anyone, i dont either, but sometimes there comes a time where we have to, when people just wont listen. Its hard enough coping with Lupus without other people making it even harder eh? So we have all got to use our inner tigeress, and protect ourselves, keeping strong although easier said than done sometimes. Anyway take care, love and hugs Astrid40xoxox
Patter said:There is no one key to reducing stress that I have found. I had always been an introvert and let people push me around cause problems. When my husband lost his health to Fibromyalgia I had to learn to stand up for my family and my self. When people start to mis behave, cause problems or are just nasty, I speak up and put a stop to it. Some one once told me that they choose their battles carefully. Some battles are just not worth fighting and I walk away from them. Also not letting my self get worked up about things. Doing everything I possibly can to make things work in any given situation then I step back and let go, worrying only gives me flares and heart burn. it is all a process that I have to remind my self constantly.
Not paying attention is the key. The last year I worked I needed a scooter to get around. There were people that called me lazy. People that said I really had it made. People that said I was lucky. The best thing I could do was thank them form their kind words and give them a smile. It really left a lot of them with a puzzled look on their face. There were a few that looked at the scooter and said they wanted my job. I told them they could have it and the scooter too but they had to take the disease that went with it. People don’t think and are quick to judge. Shooting their rudeness back at them in a pleasant way reduces stress and really makes them think… maybe they will think before they speak the next time.