Im embarrassed to go out in public. I think im an embarrassment to my boyfriend. People stare..point and giggle in hushed whispers. My dermatologist is trying e
The rash from my lupus is back…
::hugs gently:: Hang in there hon. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hold your head high, and remember that those people who "stare, point, and giggle" are ignorant and rude. They don't know you - they don't know your health history - and no one ever taught them proper manners.
When you look in the mirror, remind yourself that this rash will go away. You are not your rash. You have a rash. It's temporary and will go away.
I quit smoking a year ago, and I completely understand the urge to go buy cigarettes. I miss it every day! But then I remind myself how hard it was to quit, and how long I've been nicotine free, and tell myself to be proud of that accomplishment. If you can quit smoking, you are strong and can handle a little rash :-)
people in the world can be so cruel and ignorant at the same time they may have issues going on with them that you dont see so they laugh at others to.keep.from crying at them selves i wouldnt be ashamed because their are so.many people out there in hospitals bedridden that cant get out ,people blind tht cant see the.beauty of the world so when they laugh,laugh back smile whatever floats your boat cause trust me we all got issues whather other people can see it or.not.
you are not a freak u are a child of God if anybody is a freak they are dont ever think of yourself tht way ,God loves you and we love you too.now go get your ciggs.
My suggestion is to wear a hat in one of two ways: either a bright or obnoxious hat that pulls attention away from the rash, OR the complete opposite and just try to tone it down. I have the butterfly rash always, and get told every day by a new person how I have such rosy cheeks, or the more hurtful, “somebody got too much sun” type comments. I rock obnoxious hats regularly because if they’re going to point out something, it’ll be my hat more than my cheeks. But I know often times you just want to shrink away and keep all attention away from you. Regardless, you are worth spending time with and continuing to go out with others and don’t let a rash stop you. Hang in there!
I’ve been there people don’t know what the rash is and think it can be passed well what I say is screw you I’m me and I’m proud because I’m fighting through a disease few understand and it hasn’t beat me
Its so frustrating to me that our society has put so much importance on looks that those of us who don't feel like we meet up to the standards feel "embarassed" to go out. (I am one of those people also). Your boyfriend loves you for you as you are - a rash doesn't change who you are inside.
I say to heck with playing victim. I used to be shy, I used to be embarrassed of myself. Now I would straight up ask them what’s so funny? I would tell them this is far from funny, its lupus and not something I chose. I would advise them to educate themselves or simply ask instead of acting ignorant.
I feel the same way. Even though my family say its ok I hate going out. My hair is always frizzy and I don’t have the energy to even put on make up. I get rashes but mostly on my feet and chest but a while back I had it all over my face and you can relate. People are going judge just like they would judge for an overweight person or an outfit they don’t like. None the less if your family and friends say its ok and not worry then you don’t worry either. It was hard at first cuz I didn’t want to embarrass them. But we need to show grace for ourselves.
Hi Rebecca, I'm not sure exactly what your skin problem is or how severe but I went through a similar experience a few years back. The lupus rashes i get tend to be on my face (I also get them on my arms, hands, and breasts which are all just as noticeable). Now when I get a rash on my face, it's not the typical butterfly rash, it's more red angry looking open sores splotched across my face that dont heal. In particular a few years ago, the sores got so bad it covered my nose, cheeks, and lips. I remember getting stares, especially at my lips (I swear people though I had herpes, one person even asked). To be honest with you, I was grateful for that person who had the decency to ask instead of making assumptions. It actually made me feel more comfortable and I ended up learning that this particular lady had a friend newly diagnosed with lupus and had me contact her. I wont lie, many times I was embarrassed. I had been an outgoing person always good at eye contact and conversation, I turned into a girl who would look down when talking trying to "hide" my face, with the child-like mentality that if I couldnt see them, they couldnt see it on my face. I dealt with this for an entire year before the dermatologist was able to clear it up. During that time, my personality changed a lot and I'm working on not being that embarrassed shy girl I turned into, though I still hold some of those tendencies. It's easy for people to say looks dont matter, but sad truth is they do. People will judge you on how you look and it sucks, but dont do what I did. Try to hold your head a little higher. Have faith you will get through this and surround yourself with the people important to you.
I’ve got no words of wisdom. Just love and hugs.
I have discoid type lesions on my face that started 4 months ago and some are still not healing or they heal and then come back in the exact same spot. I try to hide them with make up but they are really awful. I wear a hat most days when I'm not working to hide myself. I avoid social situations now. Wish something would clear them up soon! People tell you not to worry about it but if they have not gone through it, they have no clue how we feel. I know this because I used to be skinny and cute with zero skin issues. Now I am huge - gained 35+ lbs from high dose prednisone with the moon face and all. My face is covered with lesions or scars from lesions and I have frizzy/broken "lupus hair". People look at me and treat me completely different now then they did 4 years ago. It has highlighted for me how much emphasis our society puts on beauty. I feel like a freak as well.
I was embarrassed too. People would stare all the time. Kids would ask me what was wrong with me. People whispered. I had one boss limit my hours at work because he was sure I had something he and the others would catch. I had to deal with so much. I would cry over what I seen in the mirror, so sure that the scars would be there forever and I would never see my face again. It is only recently that that has changed for me. My scars are mostly healed. My face is clearing. My medication keeps most of the rashes at bay (there are 3-4 different ones I get). Now it is mostly the one on my forehead, my chin, and any part that get exposed to too much sun. If I stress, I get it bad, but it's just my bodies way of saying that it is stressed.
My point? It will get better. It has been nearly 3 years since it started, and nearly two years of treatment before I got my face back. The pain is only part of it. Seeing how others treat you is the worst part. One day, though, I met a guy who has scoladerma. He looked up, expecting the judgement he normally gets, and was surprised to see none in my eyes. I helped him feel normal. He felt like just another guy, not someone to be pitied, because I knew how he felt and I know how I want to be seen and treated.