I feel like I'm coming out of hiding I have been gone for so long. This semester has been absolutely insane. I filed for my divorce early in September. then my grandmother went into the hospital for respiratory distress and a mass near her neck. The week after I filed for divorce, my aunt passed away from brain tumors. Then my brother was in a car accident--everyone was ok. My grandmother was on a ventilator for about a month. The she got ventilator acquired pneumonia and was transported to a different hospital. Upon transport she went into cardiac arrest and was resuscitated. My dad and his sister decided to do a DNR order. She was listed in grave condition so my mom and I sent my dad out to be with her. She passed away as he was boarding the plane. Two or three weeks after grandma passed, we had to put down one of the dogs whose back legs got so weak she couldn't walk and it was just too painful to watch her try to move. Then my dad went back out to his mom's to help clean out her house to prepare to sell and they were hit by all those tornadoes. The town next to them was completely destroyed and his cousin lost their house and had to be rescued out of their basement. The divorce hearing was last week and is almost final. On top of all of this, I was still dealing with nursing school and clinicals/rotations at the hospital and a handful of "friends" stopped talking to me and ignoring me once I filed for the divorce so close support has been slim. I think the disappointment of friends and their empty promises to be there for me no matter what hurt more than the actual divorce which is a little weird. But, if they can't be there when I need them the most, they're not true friends. This has really brought out the true colors of people. I just got over a bad ear infection and a cold on top of everything as well.
I don't know how I'm not in a flare right now, especially with stress as my number one trigger. I also don't know how I haven't been a total train wreck or how I managed to finish my pediatric rotation with an A in the class and if I keep things up, I'll end my current class (med-surg 2) with an A. It boggles my mind.
Needless to say, I have a lot of catching up to do on here now that life has finally slowed down a little (winter break in 3 weeks!). I haven't forgotten about you guys... I have been praying for health and comfort for everyone each night.
Ballerina, I'm glad to see you post, and understand often we step away from activities when others take priority. You are very much cared about here, and though times have been unbelievably tough, you are doing so much right!
huge hugs to you, and may you too have comfort and a cloak of peace upon you in these trying times.
You sound like a very strong woman! This is a good trait many people would love to have! You must have had the calm before the storm and next is calm again! You weathered it well my friend, great big hugs for you and my prayers are going out to you also!
Happy Dance is in order! Lol
Thanks everyone. I keep trying to find the small accomplishments and happy moments each day which seem to help. I have also made a really good friend at church who always has me laughing. Laughter's the best medicine!
Whoa - as it has been said in other replies - you are a strong woman. I am new to the site but I wanted to extend my support as I can relate to a lot of what you have been going through.
Sorry to hear of your losses among the other things that have happened. Before I had lupus about 16yrs ago I went through a nasty divorce & custody battle in a small town. I too lost a lot of friends -or at least I thought they were friends. It was devastating to me at the time because I needed a support system. As I look back, those so called friends were just toxic people that liked to cause drama. It sounds like your "friends" are the same way -and you are better off without toxic people in your life. However - some people have a hard time knowing how to act, or what to say or do around someone going through situations they have never experienced. They will pull away & distance themselves. It doesn't make it right but if they are a true friend they may just come back around after things settle down. I have a few friends that did that to me during the divorce but came around & mended fences after the dust settled.
Anyway -I have had migraines all of my life & have multiple triggers one of them being stress. During the divorce I figured (as did my family) that my migraines were going to go into overdrive -they didn't. I made it through but 2 days after it was final......I crashed & crashed big time. My lupus will also do that -sometimes. I am so happy that you haven't had a flare amongst all of the chaos. Try to keep up your positive attitude, rest when you can & take really good care of yourself so hopefully you won't have a major flare. I know we can't control them but I believe a little positive mind over matter can help even if it doesn't always work... lol
Congratulations on your excellent grades while you are doing your rotations. Our oldest daughter is in radiology tech program and is finishing up her year of clinicals & classes after going through divorce, working evenings and being a single mom (we do help her with gr-daughter). I understand how classes coupled with rotations/clinicals are challenging amongst themselves without having to deal with a chronic illness & all of the other you have had to endure. So Kudos to you for all of you perseverance. God Bless.
Going through all that just means you were strong enough to go through it!!! Those with lupus have the ability to deal with some rough stuff. I’m praying for you!!!
