I have been struggling with lupus, FMS and Chronic Cluster headaches, for years. My wife has always been my place of comfort and support. Recently I have found out she has been cheating on me and has filed for divorce. The stress of everything is overwhelming, so any advice or words of encouragement would be appreciated. God bless, Ken
Ken,
I am so sorry, my heart goes out to you. I can understand the position that you are in. We are so vulnerable because of our illness it is hard to deal with anything else in life but trying to get well. Now is the time you will need to be at your strongest and prove to your wife that your life will continue without her. Know that you have a lot of friends and support here whenever you need it, just ask. Tons of hugs, be well.
Ken, I am very sorry to hear. Please don’t hesitate speaking with a counselor as well should you need. All of this as you know can be very stressful on your condition and counselling can be very helpful.
Best of wishes. You will make it through this.
Hugs,
Laurie
Ken,
I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. The feeling of desertion and lose is very hard on even a healthy person.
Sometimes understanding the why helps.
I don't know how long you have been married, or if you knew you had lupus before you got married. One thing I learned from my husband when I first got real ill is that he lost a lot too. His dreams of our future traveling together. His ability to come home and be pretty sure there would be dinner started. He even lost the closeness since he couldn't touch me without causing pain.
Your wife lost a lot also. She too has been through a lot. She might have gotten caught up in searching for support by searching for what she feels she lost.
Please try some counselling to help you through this loss. There is a lot of grief, feelings of guilt, fear, and a bunch of other feelings all groups together. Working through them and getting to forgiveness is going to take time. Understanding that you can't deal with to much negative emotions without getting really I'll means you win probably need some help quickly. My prayers are with you. Colleen
Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I am trying to remain upright, the range of emotions are taking their toll. Her taking off with my children has only made things worse and the ensuing court fight has really cast a dark shadow over what has been, health wise, a pretty good summer.