Hello, Please accept my apologies in advance if this discussion is too depressing for anyone, I am not having a good day and need some advice please.
This year has been a very difficult year for me. After surviving pneumonia, hemorrhages in my fallopian tubes, loss of kidney function, two outbreaks of severe shingles causing postherpetic nerve damage, escalating symptoms from psoriasis on my feet and Hashimoto's disease, several accidents from falling, I thought surely things will start to improve.
This week I had to make the decision to put down my beautiful 4 year old Quarter Horse stallion. Unfortunately he started to colic after breeding only his third mare. I did not realize he had a small hernia and his intestine went into his scrotum. The vet near where I live did not have the facilities to do the required surgery and the Equine Hospital is too far away to travel in his condition. Because he was in terrible pain even though he'd been given an injection, he was humanely euthanized.
I am devastated.
Today I can not find my ragdoll cat. His name is Radar and I love him very much. I am praying that he has just found a cool spot to sleep as it is very hot here today. Radar is usually inside and it is completely out of character for him not to come when I call him. He is desexed and is never very far away from me.
Back to the question, as you can imagine I have had a very stressful week. I am having an awful flare of painful symptoms. From the tips of my fingers to my toes I feel like I've been run over by a Mac truck.
The saying 'Laughter is the best medicine' is so true. As I am single and my children do not like me to say anything about my autoimmune diseases, my animals are my support. Losing one is very emotional for me. I'd much rather have something positive & fun to talk about but wondered what other people do to calm the immune response when coping with an emotional trauma.
I am begging God that Radar is safe, any kind thoughts would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
::hugs gently:: I am so sorry to hear about your stallion! That is very tragic, and at such a young age! I'm a horse person, though I've never owned one myself. Your grief makes my heart ache. The bond we share with our animals, horse or otherwise, can be so strong and important to our emotional health! I hope and pray that your cat reappears soon, as I know you need that comfort, especially right now.
Absolutely stress causes me to flare. I'm not sure my rheumy believes that it can trigger a flare, but whether he does or not is irrelevant. I feel the response of my body to the circumstances that are beyond my control. I wish I had some advice for you on dealing with it all, but I'm still pretty new to this myself. My diagnosis was March of this year. I can say that I think we've gotten my meds to a sweet spot, so that even stress seems to have less of an impact on me. Needless to say it is a great relief. As to the stress, my coping methods are music (either expressive or soothing), hiding in books and puter games (I play WoW and Skyrim mostly), and clinging to my very supportive husband.
Hang in there hon. You'll get through it. You aren't alone, not while you are part of this community. ::hugs more:: My messages are open anytime you need to vent or want to talk!
Thank you Tarencia for your kind words of support. I am very sorry to report that Radar died in my arms at 11,00 am this morning. My son and his partner helped look for him but couldn't find him anywhere. At about 10.45 am I found him lying at the back of my house near the stairs. He definitely wasn't there just an hour before.
My son and I headed straight to the small animal hospital. His tummy was swollen and he had no color in his gums. I had him in my arms and he looked deep into my eyes. I told him how much I loved him and begged him to hang on but he died before we got to the Vet.
Radar was a very special boy, he didn't harm birds or any small animals. One time he brought a snake inside and let it go beside my bed. If he ever did bring me a present I would go over it with a magnifying glass looking for bite or scratch marks so I could treat them with antibacterial before releasing it back where it belonged. Not once did he harm anything he brought inside. He had a way of carrying something in his mouth without using his teeth. It really was quite amazing.
My sister is a wild life carer. At first she did not believe me, however although it didn't happen very often, I had witnesses that saw it themselves. Most of the time he lived inside but he liked to come outside and watch me play with the dogs in the afternoon. Radar gave me unconditional love and I miss him so much already. Do nice cats go to Heaven? If they do Radar will be there for sure. Plenty of times I have been so down I have struggled to survive. Radar gave me the will to live because he was so shy of strangers and was not like a normal cat. His fur was like silk and he had me in his control. He could be quite bossy. When he wanted to sleep he would only sleep on a clean grey towel. lol
My God I am going to miss him so much. I can't believe I am writing this. Not so soon after losing Bob. Why? I don't know the answer to that.....
Start to be interested in some plants as hobby, they will never leave you or adopt some other pets.Try to do not become exessive attached anything (except your health). Make favors who need real help (animals, people etc). These things relax you. These were some advices from a TIA surivor and thank God I am 99.99% recovered. Yes I know it is easier siad than done for anybody who do not experinced similar situations like me. But it was all I can do.
You are experiencing an awful lot of loss at this time and I am sorry. Why things happen in clusters is perplexing. I don't have the answers, but I can provide support. Take care of yourself. Let yourself mourn and be patient with yourself. Your health is of utmost importance, especially now that you are stressed. Get out of the house if you can and go for a walk. Notice all that is right with the world. Know that death is a natural part of life and that your animals were able to experience the love of a human. They were fortunate to have you. You are thought of.
I am so sorry for such a devastating time you are having. I will also reiterate that you need to let yourself mourn. The loss of a beloved pet, let alone two is a huge loss. I am so deeply sorry. My heart aches for you and your trials right now.
Stress makes all these health problems that we encounter so much worse. Please know that you are not alone. You are not alone in your heath struggles or in your sadness. When you are in the middle of a hard time, it seems impossible to believe that things can and will improve....but they will. Sending Peace, Love and Hugs....
Yes stress does trigger a flare and from what I can tell you are having a very stressful time right now. I have lost pets, one pet I had had for 17 years. Her death hurt me deeply. It was her time. I got another pet, then I lost him and now I am too ill to take care of a pet, even though I want one. You have your health to be concern about and too much stress will make you sicker. You should mourn your losses and when you feel better and up to caring for another pet get one. But beware of the attachment you could feel during the time you have the pet. I am lonely, but I have chosen not to have a pet at this time. Sometimes we can't explain why certain things happen in our life, but I take a positive approach...Like my pet did not need to suffer any more it was her time. God bless you and I'm sorry you are having such a stressful time.
I too, had to put our dog down last month. It’s trauma to us but also a change for the other pets in the house. I also flare when stressed and it seems to add more meds when I would like to take less. I can’t go for walks except for about five houses down and back. I try to breathe, watch an uplifting movie or funny show. Laughter is important in the time of hurt. We do mourn and never forget but also need to care for ourselves. I did see how you mentioned you’ve been falling. May I ask how you fall and why? My dr can’t figure this out and thought it was coming from my lumbar. Nope. My knees are weak, buckle, I can’t squat without being able to get myself back up. My knees aren’t strong enough to sometimes get out of the chair. Stepping up and down steps are difficult. Please help me with your experiences. Again, I’m in your boat and so sorry you are hurting emotionally and physically.
Dear Kittyhorse, I also want too send loving thoughts your way as I am an animal lover Im saddened for your two loses. Ihave two beautiful loving dogs which are a hand full. They truelly are heaven sent especially for us who struggle with lonliness and chronic dieases. as all have said maybe after the holidays are over and you give yourself time to heal from your losses you could adopt an abused animal as I did . I made it my business too specifically, adopt a dog who more than likely would be put down. They can and was hard to adjust but 1 year later I couldn't of asked for a better pet. my thoughts are with you this holiday season may you have a healthy and happy new year VEGASGIRL............
Am there with you. I can understand the emotional trauma after losing a pet, and i cant imagine how you must be feeling after losing two in a span of few days. Time is the best healer. Cry your heart out, mourn properly and try turning your attention to something else.
Emotional AND physical stress triggers flares as confirmed by my rheumy. As ppl with lupus we cannot even grieve for a long time. But think of it as a way in which Nature/God/Higher entity limits us from spending more time wallowing in grief. Honor and cherish the time that you had with your loved horse and kitty. Its time to let them go. Sending positive thoughts and love your way. Hope you feel better. <<Hugs>>
So sad, sorry you don't have much support. I will be saying a prayer for you. Do they have a support group where you live? That may be an option. Stress is one of the biggest causes of flares, just listen to music, rest, or stuff that helps you relax it may help a little.
Reading your story of loss made me tear up… We recently lost our bull dog and I am so thankful to have my precious Pomeranian to help me through. I can only imagine how lost you are without your other fur baby. I hope radar returns home safe and sound very soon. As for stress and flares, yes, it is a major trigger for most of us. Like others I find some comfort in music, reading and have found aromatherapy and massage (very light) to be helpful. Sometimes when I’m at my stress peak I run a warm bath with sea salts and essential oils, turn on relaxing spa music and light some candles. If nothing else it gives me a few minutes to let go, meditate, pray and block out everything bad. Support groups are great for getting through our horrible days with others who know what we are going through. Just remember you are not alone, there are many of us here that will listen or talk. Prayers and butterfly hugs.
So sorry to hear about your horse and your sweet kitty sending you prayers and yes when i get stressed i feel every little thing. Know you are not alone and i feel so blessed for all the support on this site ️Stay strong and i pray your radar comes home soon kaye ️
Unfortunately stress is a major factor in flares. I'm soo incredibly sorry to hear about everything that you are going through with your health and your animals. I hope you manage to find some sort of comfort and happiness soon-- keeping you in my thoughts!
Stress is horrible for lupus. My sweet ragdoll cat went outside one night, unbeknownst to me. 2 years ago. I made a poster with 2 color photos and put them all over my apartment complex. I sent the poster to someone I know near me, I gave it to the person who cleaned at my job. I wrote a lost cat thing for the closest animal rescue. Ten days later, at night, the cleaning lady at my job called me, she saw my cat. Her daughter had chased her and she ran. When I got there and started calling, she called back, and she’d run really far. Once I got up the hill and around the fence, she let me pick her up- she went went totally limp and I got her home. I hope you get a miracle, too. Ragdolls are the best! I am really sorry about your horse. To lose two beloved pets is really hard. I’ll pray you find your kitty really soon.
I forgot to say, call the chip company, if Radar was chipped. I found out that they sell you the chip, but you have to call and ask if your cat is completely registered. I had to pay another fee. They can’t find you otherwise…
Thanks for asking Eva.Unfortunately Radar died in my arms on the way to the Vet. He must of been bitten by something like a snake or he had a tick. I have taken some advice from others and just letting myself grieve. I feel if I try to repress my emotions it will come up again. The last thing I need is to get Depressive Illness again.
I don't know why I attract negative events in my life. I have a sense of humor and look forward to positive things. I like to help people when I can. I am a giving person and don't go on and on about my disease.
My father was very strict. When I started getting sick from my mother taking Thalidomide when she was pregnant with me, my father didn't want anything to do with that drug. As far as he was concerned I was damaged and he rejected me. He decided I wasn't good enough for him. Sounds like I am feeling sorry for myself I know. I am just telling the truth of how it was. The negative energy was directed at me from both my mother and father. I try to ignore it and be positive but things keep happening.
All I can do is look forward and not back.I believe we can create positive things in our life by giving and caring for others as well as looking after our self. It is the 2nd one I have struggled with. I was bought up to always put other people first, which is fine unless your own health is preventing you from doing that. Just for the moment I am the one who needs some help. Lol.
Oh boy Kittyhorse! Just ride out this wave, for it will pass…maybe not right away, but it will. All of this pain is enough to put the strongest of us into a killer flare. Keep writtin to us and dont suffe alone. BIG HUGS!
️Stay strong and i pray your radar comes home soon kaye