I need advice, opinions, experiences, anything, please! I have been at my job for 7 years. Never any problems. I have been a great employee. Only positive performance reviews. Then my health started to get in the way. Oh, how I remember. Why am I SOOO tired? Sleep study. Normal. Depressed? Still tired, I mean 15-16 hours of sleep and still exhausted tired. Still, great performance reviews. Then then pain, shortness of breath, high ANA titer, anemia, iron transfusion, thrombocytopenia, leukopenia, weakness, muscle pain, numbness, and a little over a year ago, a SLE diagnosis. I have always been treated fairly until very recently. My employers basically threw me under the bus. It's a long story I would rather not go into ALL the details but I ended up admitting myself to a psychiatric hospital because of the severe emotional stress (they triggered the "last straw"). This was two weeks ago. They expected all employees to answer a cell phone for a week at a time on a rotating basis. From 9:00 AM to 9:00 PM on weekends and from the end of the workday (5:00 PM) until 9:00 PM during the week to "separate us from our competitors". I am an RDH (registered dental hygienist). I explained to them that I simply can't do that. There is no way. I literally sometimes pass out in bed and my husband has to deal with the kids some days after work because I am so tired. They also came up with a long list of rotating "duties" for staff to do at the END of a long work day like taking out 6 trashcans and bringing them to the dumpster, sweeping, washing towels, stocking bathrooms, cleaning mirrors, etc. Basically things other offices have cleaning services do. I could no longer do these things as I was simply too tired at the end of the day and wasn't being payed to stay after 5:00 ( I was being compensated base-pay or commission, whichever was greater and 90% of the time my commission was greater). When I brought up these issues, I was basically harassed, singled out and written-up. I had never had ANY disciplinary action against me in the 7 years I worked there until I told them I was unable to perform non-essential duties due to my illness. I even had doctors notes excusing me from these tasks. But the manner in which I was treated, with such little respect, really traumatized me. I mean, I poured my heart into their business and stayed with them while they grew. I have patients that I have established rapport with that I don't want to leave. Several only want to see me for their cleanings and their kids' cleanings. But, I was told I was causing problems, and complaining actually "bitching", and that it isn't that big of a deal to carry a cell phone with you and answer it. They have no idea what I go through because I am professional at work and don't talk about my personal health problems there. It really hurt me. Badly. I am still trying to decide what to do about the whole situation. I want to go back for my patients and co-workers. But how can I work for doctors whom I no longer trust nor respect? I could take legal action. They have broken several laws. I could look for a new job. I could stay and just stay very distant from the doctors, both of whom are women. (I mean I could be polite yet slightly stand-offish). But right now I am in the middle of the worst flare-up I have ever had. I refused to sign the "written warning" they gave me because three of the four infractions were untrue. The only infraction that was true is that I am habitually tardy because I have a difficult time in the mornings. Very difficult time. However, I am always there before my scheduled patient's appointment time and set up my op the day before. I owned it though, didn't make excuses. Problem is other employees are late but they weren't "written up" and it was only AFTER I explained to them that I was unable to perform the additional tasks that they "wrote me up". I wrote a letter explaining my refusal to sign and detailed each "infraction" and how it was untrue and requested that it be placed in my employee file. I was literally being singled-out. They still claim they want me to work there. But I'm not sure if it's because they think I will file a law-suit and they don't want to deal with it, or if they are just really bad managers. They do have a track record of poor management and had just hired a new office manager who I believe contributed to these decisions. So, I am currently filing with Aflac for my short-term disability and trying to decide my next move. You guys probably have more experience with stuff like this than anyone else. So, let me have it. Please, raw and honest. I want to know your perspective/opinion/advice. Thank you so much. This (in it's totality) has been the second most difficult thing I have ever gone through second to my younger sister becoming a quadriplegic. Again, thank you.
Does your employer provide your health benefits? I'm amazed you've put up with this as long as you have, they are required by law to make accomodations for you if you are disabled. But the old argument will stand if you can't perform your job duties, adhere to policy well then and being late isn't good either. I've lost a lot of jobs because of my own illness, and one time I got fired for leaving without permission when my child was hit by a car on her way to school! DO WHAT YOU YOU HAVE TO FOR YOUR OWN BEST INTERESTS AND HEALTH, after all are they going to come clean your house and buy your groceries because the excessive stress they've put you under sent into a full blown flare that could take weeks if not months to recover from; look after your own self first. If you're as good as you say you are you should be able to find an even better place to work that will work with you and your illness and not against you. Take care of yourself
Contact your EEOC office and file a complaint If they determine it has merit they will assist with legal services
Legal action if you can handle it. What they are doing is descrimination this disease and those that accompany it are legitimate disabilities. Faces of those who suffer with this need to be seen and our voices heard. This is such a sneaky illness that many times you cannot tell just by looking. We get passed off as fakes liars and exaggerating damage done. Also contact a diability advocate just in case there is a time you feel you are unable to work . As long as you have the backing of your doctors don’t let these people make you feel less than due to something out of your control. Keep up the fight.
It's illegal for them to demand 12 hour shifts, and you have rights under the American Disabilities Act, which they need to read about because you should be getting a lot more perks and breaks due to your illness. So sorry for your struggles.
So sorry to hear this. They are being so cruel to you. My daughter-in-law is a RDH like you and she worked for a woman who sounds like your doctors. They did not hold her job for her after she needed a second shoulder surgery, which turned out to be a blessing. A friend contacted her about a new job with a male doctor who treats his staff so well. They have many perks so totally the opposite of her other job.
Could you find a part-time job with another dentist who is a better employer? Many times your patients will follow you to another dentist.
I would take legal action like the others have said, no one should be treated like you have been!
Take care of yourself, hugs!
Take the emotional element out- the co workers and patients- to evaluate the job. They aren’t the real issue. Realize that you will be written up again for being late because now they’re watching you. It is easier to find a new job while you are employed, employers think there’s something wrong with you if you’re not.
I got stuck in the emotions when I was fired for "being too sick to work. Ended up in a flare. Try to be positive, hard as that can be. It will help you deal with all this. Also, a lot of people are threatened by illness.
Thank you everybody for your replies; I appreciate them so much. Yes, the problem with the American Disabilities Act and the 12-hour shift thing is that simply having the cell-phone with me, although mandated, isn't considered "work", only while a person is actually talking on the phone or recording a message can it be considered "work" (I called the labor union and anonymously asked). So, they are are pulling a fast one there. The thing that hurts me the most if that I really have been a good employee to them and told them ahead of time that I won't be able to get back with the patient in 30 minutes a lot of the time due to sleeping and/or being sick. I told them trying to openly communicate and be honest. Then, I got a "lecture" about how I was being selfish before being told that wouldn't be required to do it. So, yes, they are accommodating me (I mean, they kind of have to or fire me) because I really can't do that. I have several patients who will only see me and have told me that they will follow me if I ever leave and both doctors even after all this SAY that I am a very valuable asset to the practice and they want me to stay. Like I said, could be true or not, doesn't really matter. I can no longer trust them. There is so much more to this story. But the other problem is that, yes, I am habitually tardy. So are many other employees. I have been habitually tardy for about two years (getting up and getting my two kids ready and then driving 30 minutes just became more difficult for me. Mornings are hard and painful for me. But, they decide to issue a "written warning" to me for being tardy only AFTER I tell them I can't do certain things due to my illness like the cell-phone duty, kitchen, and back duty (all involving lots of cleaning at the end of the day). And, nobody else was issued a written warning for being tardy. When I asked why I was being singled-out, they replied to give them time. It's all a bunch of you-know-what. Then, about two weeks later, another co-worker gets written up for being tardy. Happens to be my good friend.
I contacted an attorney who told me that what they said to me was illegal. He asked me if I had it recorded. I was kind of like..."Well, no." I'm not the type to record conversations (that may be changing soon). He said that he was sorry I work at such an unprofessional office but these kinds of cases are notoriously difficult to win for the employee and he didn't feel that he could win me any claims based on the evidence I had. If I had what they said to me recorded, it would have been a different story. Arkansas is a "right-to-work" state. Anyone can quit or terminate at any job for any reason except protected ones like disabilities (Lupus). But the problem is that it is my burden to prove that they are discriminating against me. Attorney fees. Stress. Possibility of losing. I'm not sure I want to use my "spoons" there. I'm not sure though. Im still thinking about it. But I know myself and become emerged in whatever I am doing. I don't want my kids to be without their mom because I am trying to fight a battle that has a high probability of losing. BTW, this office just got finished with a lawsuit. Another dentist to whom they sold their old office sued them because they sent out letters to his patients inviting them to their office. JUST A MESS.
Christina said:
Legal action if you can handle it. What they are doing is descrimination this disease and those that accompany it are legitimate disabilities. Faces of those who suffer with this need to be seen and our voices heard. This is such a sneaky illness that many times you cannot tell just by looking. We get passed off as fakes liars and exaggerating damage done. Also contact a diability advocate just in case there is a time you feel you are unable to work . As long as you have the backing of your doctors don't let these people make you feel less than due to something out of your control. Keep up the fight.
Thank you for your kind words. Maybe I do just need to find another job. The only reason that upsets me is because I have spent years building rapport with these patients, most of whom I see on a regular basis. A lot of patients don't care which hygienist they get, just want a cleaning and check-up. Others insist on me. Will re-schedule if I am sick or gone. So, yes, some will probably follow me. But others will not and I wouldn't expect them to. Perhaps they live nearby, have a good relationship with the dentist, or like the building (it is state-of-the-art). But in any case, I have still "invested" in these patients. And now this. I am the least sexist person ever, but I have heard so many people say that working for a male dentist is often easier than working for a woman dentist (in this case, two). I wonder why this is. This is a group of mostly women. We all get along here. Nothing but kind words and support. Why can't this type of understanding transcend into dentistry? That was kind of a joke, kind of.....
geneva21 said:
So sorry to hear this. They are being so cruel to you. My daughter-in-law is a RDH like you and she worked for a woman who sounds like your doctors. They did not hold her job for her after she needed a second shoulder surgery, which turned out to be a blessing. A friend contacted her about a new job with a male doctor who treats his staff so well. They have many perks so totally the opposite of her other job.
Could you find a part-time job with another dentist who is a better employer? Many times your patients will follow you to another dentist.
I would take legal action like the others have said, no one should be treated like you have been!
Take care of yourself, hugs!
I would consider legal action or apply for long-term disability. If you can't work, you can't work. They have to show some compassion and understanding or they are not worth working for. You seem dedicated to your job and should be treated with respect. You deserve better than this.
My company gave me full pay for eight months of short-term disability and will be paying me a fair amount until retirement.This is in addition to what the state disability pays. You should consider this.
I actually changed jobs (a good RDH job close to my house) FOR the health benefits that this job offered. Of course, this was about seven years ago when my husband was still in school and we needed health insurance, plus I made more money than him at the time. Now, I don't even use their health insurance. We get it through my husband and now he makes more money than me now too. I have never once lost my temper at work until this happened. It really traumatized me. I went into my bosses' offices and basically told them exactly how I felt. I told them that I was being singled-out, I have worked so hard for their business and they know it, and that I am very good at my job. I told them this while I was VERY upset. I have seen both doctors lose their tempers, even throw objects, many times. So, I got one pass. One (although it's never justified to lose your temper at your bosses) friggin' pass and I just let it all out. Then, I just told them I have nothing more to say and left. So, even after that, they still claim they want me to work there. I think they know they are in the wrong but don't know how to deal with it. I really don't know. Right now, I am off work on short-term disability through a private policy that I purchased myself (Aflac). I haven't received any benefits yet though. I still don't trust them. They could have anything up their sleeve. But the reason I have stayed is because I used to love going to work every day, I still love seeing my patients and have missed seeing them since I have been sick. I also miss my co-workers. That's what makes this hard. If I hated my job, it would be a lot easier. But, what I hate is how I am being treated due to my Lupus (being discriminated against). And the fact that two people whom I trusted totally betrayed me.
I was told by my last boss that he “wanted me to stay with the company and be successful”. After I was fired 2 months later I found out that he was already in contact agencies to find a replacement for me. So just because they say this , don’t believe them. If I were you I’d try to find a new job.
What they definitely can’t do is have you do things like take out the trash when you’re off the clock.
Good luck,
Nikki
so sorry to hear of your problems...your health and your family is the most important thing. I went on disability almost two years ago, hardest thing i ever had to do. I'm a nurse and loved my job but could not function anymore. I would recommend applying for disability and then social security and take care of yourself. The longer you stay on the harder it will be and the more crap they can try to pin against you. I don't like the mentality of us vs them but they have already showed you they don't care about you. Good luck!
Thanks Nikki, yea, I think they know they are treading in treacherous waters. Especially when it comes to me, because when I set my mind to something, I am like a pit-bull. I won't let my teeth up until I'm done. But the problem is I'm not sure what to "sink my teeth into" so-to-speak. Part of me wants to go after them hard for discrimination, make it very public, start collecting evidence (which I already have just-in-case), even based on the chance I could win. JUST BECAUSE it's the just thing to do. But, on the other hand, I don't want to spend my "spoons" on that and not my family. Because I know myself and I would become emmersed in the battle, determined to win. But even if I did win, what would be the cost? And I don't only mean financially. My kids need their mom. My husband needs his wife. So, the whole thing just makes me very angry. Part of me wants to fight this fight for ME and all other people with invisible illnesses who have been discriminated against. But, at the moment, I am in the middle of a flare-up. It's a hard one. Really hard one. But, yes, I don't believe a word that comes out of their mouths. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I don't work "on the clock" so-to-speak. I get paid based on commission. So, they add these extra things and basically expect us to work for free because we get a "base-pay", it's basically a bad set-up. I have tried to address the issue several times only to be told that I am complaining.....
Alex,
File a claim with the EEOC, and do it quickly. You have only 180 days to do this, calendar days, not working days. I also work in a right to work state. I initially filed with the Indiana Civil Rights Commission and they helped me file with the EEOC.
Your lawyer sucks, sorry. "Recording" is simply keeping a calendar or a journal and keeping track of the event. One recording you have is this discussion. I have copied some of the discussions that I had here while my employer was harrassing me. You can also have an FMLA claim, and when you are going to be tardy, its covered.
I understand how you feel. Others told me to file. I was so tired, and when you're in the moment, its even more exhausting. I almost waited too long. Fortunately, the ICRC had a longer deadline than the EEOC, and they helped me so, so much. My lawyer is waiting for a written notice of Right to sue from the EEOC. Once we have that, many employers will settle to keep from having this public.
Girl you better get an employment lawyer and stand up for yourself. I unfortunately am going through some similar stuff and yes it is stressful. But they need to understand that what they are doing is Illegal and unacceptable, if you don’t call them out it will just keep happening. If we all let stuff like this slide we might as well revert back to working condition at the turn of the century. I can’t go into detail about my case but it is some serious stuff and the EEOC is all over it like flies on crap. We are people too, we need to fight for the right to be treated respectfully, your disability does not make you a lesser person or give anyone the right to treat you like so. As you can tell I feel very strongly about this and it’s very personal. It sucks but you can and will make it through, you have lots of support here. Chin up and get you butt kickin boots on 
I have been through this several times since I was diagnosed with Lupus....at 57 finally decided to apply for social security disability (was approved the second time) because I couldn't handle the stress of another lawsuit after being fired without reason plus physically I just couldn't do the work---my body was so worn out...I could no longer get out of bed. Had worked non-stop since 18 years old. Many will tell you what is illegal but the bottom line is what will it take out of you to find an attorney (most won't take this type of case) and the company always seems to come out ahead.. But going on ss disability was a long road...in TX I could not get Medicare health insurance until two years after I was approved for disability. Then the coverage wasn't as good....had to buy a supplemental policy so doctors would accept me as a patient, Oh, I feel so bad for you....but there is light at the end of the tunnel...Keep asking questions here...it will help you make necessary decisions. All the best and carry on my fellow lupan......LupanCatwoman
Stacy, do you have kids? I have two boys at home. One is age 3, the other age 12. A legal battle is very time-consuming, stressful, and expensive. I admire your passion, because I am one of the most passionate people I know. But right now, my passion is with my kids. You and I know, we each have our spoon allotment for the day. I am the one fighting every grain in my body to NOT go for the jugular with them. I am very competent, keep records, and could put up a good fight. At a price. That’s where the problem comes in. My husband, parents, friends, and everyone who loves me wants me to let it go. It’s been hard.
How did this resolve for you, Alex? Any updates?