Hi all I have a problem. I recently got a new boss (boss from hell). She's a micro-manager and I have never dealt with anything like this in my life before. I am soo stressed these days and my health is suffering. On top of the stress of her, my building has no heat so I'm freezing all day. With this arthritis it's really hard and I am just at a loss. I would all out quit if I could but being a single parent of two, that's not an option. Does anyone have any suggestions to help make my life a little easier. And being out is a problem for her. I'm out because of my lupus pain and my children (no school, sick etc..). If I don't find my sanity, I won't make it. I've been here for 17 years and I've never felt like this. The reason I've stayed with such a low salary is because I had the flexibility to come and go as I need. But with this new lady, she's already complaining on my absences. and I did tell her when she started that I had Lupus. What's a girl to do.. and I am currently looking for another job
Best to look around for something with more flexibility Unfortunately most companies do need to have their employees show up on a regular scheduled basis- maybe some work at home options would be better for you
I know that it would be much better, however finding that type of work is impossible. I've been looking for a while now. My new boss tells me today that she wants to discuss my attendance at work but she'll do it next week. I don't know what this lady wants or expects from me but she's being impossible. When I asked why she wanted to wait until next week she stated that she was overwhelmed today. However, I know the truth is because her boss gets back next week and I'm thinking she wants to discuss it with her before she discusses it with me. Whatever it may be, she's a sneaky lady and I really need to get out of here.
If you have worked there that long, 17 years, and have had positive reviews it seems strange that out of blue this new boss is picking on you. Plus, it kind of sounds like it is due to having a disease which is illegal.
IF you have sat down and tried to get from her what exactly she is upset with you about. Being sick is something you cannot help and as long as you get your work done it should not be issue, same is true with having to take off due to kids. BUT if you are married hopefully your husband/partner is taking off equal time so it does not fall on either of your jobs too much. Plus it shows you are trying to find solutions.
Your doctor also can write letters on limitations of what you can do such as my doctor said no overtime. He also can ask your boss to lay off when you are sick as getting on your case only makes you stressed out and even more sick. Plus it is harassment.
In fact you might talk to your Doctor about your situation as they often know more about the laws and what rights you have and what you can do realistically to help fix it. Or even ways to try and work it out without conflict.
I know if you have tried to speak with her and it was useless, you can go to next level and try to speak with them and her or make appointment in your HR dept to help find solution.
My HR got very upset with me when i left and they found out the reason...they told me how i should have come to them because i had excellent work record and what the person did( another boss not mine) was illegal. In fact they got rid of him after i left due to what he did. So you might try them.
BUT all this stress just makes it worse so if you can find a job elsewhere might be best especially if salary is not very high. I disagree that there are now many jobs where they are letting employees make their own hours. Of course there are some jobs where it is not possible but maybe it might be in yours now or maybe new job??
I also say that my doctor wrote a letter and my employer kept making sure i did not work over time for about 4 months because they could get in bad trouble if they violated that letter. Finally i had note added that if feel okay to work ot it is my own choice and wave getting my employer in any legal trouble.
So your doctor might help too...the other thing that really helped is i got sick at work..i mean where they wanted to call ambulance etc because i was so sick, but it is just how i get sick with lupus when i push myself too hard. after that day no one bugged me( except that one idiot who did not see me that day) about either calling in sick or having to go home sick. So even though it is a pain and embarrassing, letting your employer see how you get sick can be a positive.
I hope you find a solution, even better a new job with nice boss and more money!!
Before the meeting contact the fair labor board in your area, there are laws employers have to follow for people with disabilities. Tell them everything, including no heat!
My rheumatologist filled out a form for intermittent FMLA which affords some protection
hi so lost, have you ever thought of getting on disability , or early retirement ? with lupus you are a shoe in to get ssi......and you have enough years in at work to get early retirement, but i think you have to be at least 55 to get that, but you can get social security disability at any age, and like i said you have enough years in at work, and you have lupus.....so i think you would get the maximum on disability , it is also based on how much you make too.....but i would give that some serious thought......you can even apply online.....and as for freezing, can you rent another apt.....or what about some space heaters,,,cause it is terrible to be cold and have lupus......and it sounds like this boss is a complete jerk! well this is just a thought dear.....god bless.....purrs..catspaw1955
Thanks Sis..
No, I"m a single parent. No husband and I try hard to make accommodations. Like for election day, the schools were closed. I originally had someone to watch my son, unfortunately that morning she said she was called in to work and could only watch him until 12:30, so I went to work and informed my boss that I had to leave early to get my son (6yr) son. She stated that she assumes I was aware of this before now and I explained to her I did and made prior arrangements, however things changed. That's when she said she was empathetic about me being a single parent and sick but we need to discuss the bigger picture with my attendance. My thing is no work is never late and I'm barely doing anything anyway but I feels she just likes to pick on me. I'm doing some research on the disability act and I've contacted my doctor and I'm waiting to hear back from her.
siskiyousis said:
If you have worked there that long, 17 years, and have had positive reviews it seems strange that out of blue this new boss is picking on you. Plus, it kind of sounds like it is due to having a disease which is illegal.
IF you have sat down and tried to get from her what exactly she is upset with you about. Being sick is something you cannot help and as long as you get your work done it should not be issue, same is true with having to take off due to kids. BUT if you are married hopefully your husband/partner is taking off equal time so it does not fall on either of your jobs too much. Plus it shows you are trying to find solutions.
Your doctor also can write letters on limitations of what you can do such as my doctor said no overtime. He also can ask your boss to lay off when you are sick as getting on your case only makes you stressed out and even more sick. Plus it is harassment.
In fact you might talk to your Doctor about your situation as they often know more about the laws and what rights you have and what you can do realistically to help fix it. Or even ways to try and work it out without conflict.
I know if you have tried to speak with her and it was useless, you can go to next level and try to speak with them and her or make appointment in your HR dept to help find solution.
My HR got very upset with me when i left and they found out the reason...they told me how i should have come to them because i had excellent work record and what the person did( another boss not mine) was illegal. In fact they got rid of him after i left due to what he did. So you might try them.
BUT all this stress just makes it worse so if you can find a job elsewhere might be best especially if salary is not very high. I disagree that there are now many jobs where they are letting employees make their own hours. Of course there are some jobs where it is not possible but maybe it might be in yours now or maybe new job??
I also say that my doctor wrote a letter and my employer kept making sure i did not work over time for about 4 months because they could get in bad trouble if they violated that letter. Finally i had note added that if feel okay to work ot it is my own choice and wave getting my employer in any legal trouble.
So your doctor might help too...the other thing that really helped is i got sick at work..i mean where they wanted to call ambulance etc because i was so sick, but it is just how i get sick with lupus when i push myself too hard. after that day no one bugged me( except that one idiot who did not see me that day) about either calling in sick or having to go home sick. So even though it is a pain and embarrassing, letting your employer see how you get sick can be a positive.
I hope you find a solution, even better a new job with nice boss and more money!!
Your boss MUST follow the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) guidelines and accommodate your illness as much as possible. It's the law. I have tons of sources that can help you with financial matters so you could save some money to move, and maybe some of these sources would help you move immediately because it's also against the law for your building owner to not supply heat.You can also Google "Renter's rights for "your state". They might have an immediate answer too. Look through these and maybe save them in your bookmarks for future use or for other family and friends.
This site was written for people with CRPS/RSD (a painful chronic illness) or dysautonomia, but much of the info is for anyone with a chronic illness. http://dysautonomiainternational.org/pdf/RSDdirectory.pdf
Here's one I wrote for my American friends, even though I don't live in the USA.
http://forum.lifewithlupus.org/forum/topics/help-for-low-income-ameri...
If you decide to go back to school so you can get a better/easier job, here is info about how people with disabilities (lupus qualifies) can get scholarships. Whether its online school or technical school or university or a combination, there are sources here. Even for people who want to do K-12 online, there is help.
http://www.onlineschools.org/financial-aid/disabilities/
God bless you. Saying a prayer.
Sheila
Torie,
That is a shame! Perhaps have a sit down with the new gal and tell her in detail about lupus…as we all know, people haven’t a clue. And if you can do any of your job from home, make that arrangement. You have been there an awfully long time just to have a tightly wound boss to come in and upset things, but if it continues to stress you out, a change is in order. Good luck girl.
Torie,
I can totally relate. I got so stressed out at my last job I had to take medical leave. The FMLA form is what protects you so submit it to HR asap. I am positive they will work with you. You are someone who has been there for quite some time - you have proven yourself. This new boss is clueless - she is definitely a liability to your company. I would start collecting all email communication and write down instances where she is harassing you.
They should be able to work out a more flexible schedule for you and allow you to work from home when you are having mobility issues.
If they do not work with you, ask them to put their reasons in writing. I just came across this web site yesterday while looking for the types of jobs I can do with my condition.
http://www.ntiathome.org/about-nti.shtm
The following is their About Us page. I hope this helps! I wish you success with whichever route you choose!!!
About NTI@Home
National Telecommuting Institute, Inc. (NTI) offers high-quality, cost-effective virtual staffing services. Founded in 1995 as a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, NTI pursues its mission to identify and develop work-at-home jobs for home-based Americans who are physically disabled. In 2012, NTI opened two new divisions: LandAjob and The Staffing Connection. These two divisions are aimed at assisting and placing Americans with Disabilities in obtaining on-site jobs.
NTI@Home has provided trained work-at-home employees both to the largest U.S. government agencies and Fortune 500 companies, and to smaller businesses who want to outsource customer service and technical support operations in order to reduce costs. In particular, NTI@Home has demonstrated the highest degrees of success in developing workforces for:
NTI@Home also seeks to develop channel partnerships with contact center hardware, software, and SaaS vendors to provide the staffing services that can help accelerate the successful launch of a virtual call center.
Our white paper titled How to Go Virtual offers useful details for businesses on how to develop and maintain an effective virtual contact center. Please contact us regarding any inquiries, or apply for a job to become a part of our skilled virtual workforce.
I had a micro manage boss i had to learn to double check my work and make sure i did everything the same way eveytime. No mistakes meant he was off my back and on to something else. I can’t till you about missing work because that is why i got fired. Buy a small electric heater.
Hello, sorry for your troubles. The last thing you need is added stress. Is the reason for taking time off work due to pain? Are you getting adequate pain relief so you could maybe cope with work a bit better? If it is fatigue, you can improve your Dopamine levels naturally with a supplement of L-Tyrosine & Vit B. Ask at a health food shop or a naturopath. Of course healthy eating and exercise is optimin, though not always possible.
Just a thought......
ADA helped me a lot. I did not know I had Lupus. I was having issues with depression and anxiety. I also have spinal stenosis, degenerative disc, Meniere' s disease, and arthritis. My attendance was affected. I filed for ADA and was transferred to a less stressful job. That worked to awhile until pain and depression took over. I filed for disability and was approved. I now am an at home wife and can manage my pain days better. My depression is much better and I rarely have problems with it. I pray you find some relief from your situation. I have been there!