I learned today, that I am being demoted and will be receiving a 5% pay cut, as a result. While my employers documentation of the rationale behind the demotion lists my inability to complete task timely, as before, I am certain that part of their decision is based on my decision to inquire about (early) disability retirement. My emotions have ranged from furious to very, very sad. I have worked for the same agency for 16 years and this is what I get! There are so many people who support me and that makes me feel wonderful, despite my emotions and my normal symptoms, which don' seem to be helped by all of these recent happenings. I had also (against my better judgment) shared with my direct supervisor information on lupus fog. I think she used it against me. She had told me that she had made an ADA request on my behalf, but I never heard anything from the EEO office and then I get served with the demotion notice. Those who support me emotionally are telling me to talk to an employment attorney and fight this, but I honestly don't think I have the strength. I think if they are doing this to me, then there are probably others who are going through the same thing, but I can't take that on right now. I am just so upset about this! Has anyone else ever gone through something like this? At first I wanted to believe that my boss was being supportive by telling me that she had made the ADA request on my behalf, but now I think she was just being evil. As if all of this wasn't enough, I came home and although he was trying to be supportive, my husband starts talking about the fact that I am going to be making less money in a different position. Sometimes I think I would just be better off dead. :-(
My boss just keeps saying that she can't imagine what it's like to be me. I am not a bad person and I wouldn't wish all of my autoimmune problems on my worst enemy, but there is part of me that thinks yes, if she only really understood and the ONLY way to truly do that is to experience what I have, which she never will.
JDT, based on what you have said here and what I believe I remember from your earlier posts, it sounded like your supervisor was trying to help you and was trying to help you keep your job. If she was going to get you fired, why take the time to help you get accommodations. What kind of accommodations was she suggesting?
I must point out again that ADA and FMLA are two different things. ADA provides accommodations to help you perform your essential job functions, I.e., a special headset for a hearing impaired person or a special mousy for someone with carpal tunnel syndrome. FMLA allows for time off work (doesn’t mean it will be paid time off) for an illness or to care for a close family member with an illness. If you work full time and have been at your agency 16 years, you would qualify for this. I was on FMLA at one point some years ago due to a car accident and all the treatment after and FMLA saved my job because I ran out of accumulated leave time before I ran out of needed days off.
All that aside, most states are at will employment states. In other words, you may come to work one day and they tell you that they don’t need your services any more and to not come back and there is not a whole lot you can do about it as long as they have fired you because you are a member of a protected class- female, black, old, etc. That sounds a lot simpler than it actually is and a lot of people have employment contracts that prevent that type of firing but it can happen. It is like I tell my husband, they can fire you because your eyes are blue but they can’t fire you because you are Indian.
I encourage you to talk to an attorney if you feel you are being mistreated or discriminated against in any way. Many attorneys will give you a free or reduced cost consultation. Be cautious about any attorney who would want payment up front (a retainer) for this type of case- should be a contingent fee case where they only get paid if you win.
Unfortunately for you an employer is not required to hold a position for you that you are unable to perform. Does your physician have any options for you so that you might perform better? If not the demotion is actually a way to help you keep your job by lowering your work requirements- lower pay yes but you still have a job
Thank you for the information! You seem to be very educated about these issues. I understand. I am just very emotional about having to lose yet another piece of my identity. I'm sure my boss would appreciate your faith in her, but I tend to think she is being cruel to me. I am not one to cry discrimination. I know I need to deal with this, but it is hard. It doesn't help that my job is one that requires one to be very devoted. Therefore, I have sacrificed a lot of family time for my job over the years, which doesn't help the guilt I feel about now decreasing my family's financial stability. I have worked really hard to maintain this job, at the cost of my body and mind. Now, I feel betrayed and unvalued for all my devotion. I know the world is not fair and I shouldn't expect it. I understand...but it doesn't make it any easier for me to deal with my decline. At this point, I feel pretty wronged, so wronged in fact that I am so beaten down, that I can't fight anymore. I just want out, but who is going to hire a lupie like me? After sixteen years of explaining my illnesses to my employer, I'm guessing that it would be even harder to explain it to a new employer. I have no easy answers and I just feel absolutely crushed! I will get over it, though. I apologize for being so emotional (that is one of areas affected by my lupus). They may not be able to hold a position for me that I can no longer perform well, but from my perspective, their lack of loyalty, given what I feel like was above and beyond loyalty to them is yet another hard pill to swallow. :-(
poobie said:
Unfortunately for you an employer is not required to hold a position for you that you are unable to perform. Does your physician have any options for you so that you might perform better? If not the demotion is actually a way to help you keep your job by lowering your work requirements- lower pay yes but you still have a job
JDT, I went through something very similar years ago. I was forced to leave a job I loved after 13 years due to an illness and I screamed “unfair”, “you’re a bitch (my direct supervisor” and so on. But, I could no longer perform the essential job functions and there was no way to accommodate the illness I had. I say all that calmly now, but back then, I was a pissed off, raging lunatic who could not see their point of view. I did dust off my shoes, go back to school for nine months and voila, I am now a certified paralegal (an unemployed one, sure, but I have the skills and the job history in case I am ever well enough to work again.) and guess what? I loved being a paralegal even more than being a social worker. So, cry, rage, curse, yell, whatever it takes, and then dust off your shoes and reinvent yourself or do your same kind of work somewhere part time. If you really feel like your employment is going to end, I would start looking now. Good luck. Mary Beth
JDT,
I am sorry this happened to you. I know how you feel, it happened to me. But I can say I'm much better off without them, they were making me sicker, and I hated it there. I believe your supervisor saved your job as well, at least for now. I am a firm believer, that its none of their business about my illness. I agree with Mary Beth, channel the emotions that you have and the anger, and redirect it into a new position or a new career. What bills can you reduce, or pay off that you don't need as much money?
Take care of yourself now.....
Hugs
I agree, be assertive not aggressive and put your needs first. The past is over and you do have today to start making plans and goals. Once you have a plan in place you will feel better about which direction is best for you.
I left my job of 20 years quietly and supposedly lost my pension by 3 months! I was married at the time and did not fight it. Now I am alone living only on Social Security.
Who knows what your boss is really up to? I would seek legal advice.
If it is discrimination, the Human Rights Commission can be powerful.
Please do not give up. Take a 24 hour break and then find out what your legal rights/options are.
I will keep you in my thoughts.
I totally agree with Donna. The same thing happened to me and I did not fight and regret it deeply now. Get someone to help you in your fight. I am one that said to you back when you first posted that you should not trust your supervisor. Again it was from my experiences. Will your husband help you with getting an attorney and sorting out the issue? Mine would not and I had nothing left in me to do it on my own at the time. I lost my long term disability that I paid into for many, many years because I was so exhausted and sick. Please don't make the same mistakes that others of us made.
A 5% pay cut is not that much considering the alternative. A lot of people are taking more cuts then that just to be able to work. Your hubby has to look at the big picture too. Another thing you could do is pretend your supervisor really does have your best interests at heart and you can thank her for helping you out. If she is throwing you to the wolves it will make her feel like ca ca when you thank her. Yes, I do have a vindictive streak in me!
OMG, I am so sorry that has happened to you. When I was first diagnosed with discoid I had draining lesions(not infected or infectious) on my elbows, always kept them covered but became ill from all of the medications, I was fired when they found out. Was not able to find another job because of it. I feel for you, it's really hard and I never thought of it as discrimination but maybe I should have but this is a right to work state so I didn't have any options.
Please don't say things like you'd be better off dead, that is giving up honey, never give up, ever. There are too many people who care about you starting with your family. Your husband was being insensitive but he' wasn't thinking just talking like a guy, don't let that get you down. You will get through this and you don't have to tell an employer anything about an illness ever unless it effects your amount of absences, otherwise keep it to yourself and friends,family etc. It's too easy to find someone to replace us no matter how good we are at what we do. Found that out the hard way and it really hurt alot but I got through it and you will too. Keep your chin up sweetie, we can't let them get us down, we are stronger than that and them!
Snowwolf
Omg!! That’s exactly what time afraid of, I’ve been stressed out on what to do about trying to go back to.work… I heard the winter months are bad on lupus patients:-(… I’m still not physically ready to go back to work
I faced the same thing with my former employer....they tried to say that my illness was a performance issue instead of an actual illness...this went on until I threatened to get a lawyer involved. They finally realized that I was truly sick with SLE Lupus and it wasn't my fault. I was verbally insulted over and over for not being the star performer that I had been in the past and was threatened with demotion. I finally received a disability retirement and got out of there....we are on half pay, but at least I am out of that horrible environment.
Prayers for peace and comfort as you adjust to this situation. Money isn't everything and YOU matter most!
Lori
I am so very sorry this happened to you. You have tapped into one of my greatest fears as I am still trying to work and I know it's not easy. Please trust your own feelings and intuition. If you feel that your boss does not have your best interests in mind, then you are probably right. Also, please, please seek the advice of an attorney. As much as we are all trying to help here, none of us are experts in employment law. It is in your best interests to at least speak with someone before you do anything else. If you are financially strapped there are free law services out there that will help you with this very thing. I was worried about this at one point, and I contacted a free legal service and they were very helpful to me. Luckily, I live in a state that does not have at will employment and I am part of a pretty strong union, thus they cannot just fire me. That being said, they can demote me. I saw them do it to someone else so I know they can. You are in my thoughts. Please hang in there!
I had a job that I loved and I got sick it took the dr 1 1/2 to figure it out and by then I was over the four days a year I was allowed to miss. I was honest with my boss. When I fou d out what it was I told my boss and thats when he let me go. He said I wouldnt recover from this. If I had a broken bone, surgeryn or cancer. I would get better. They have a small office and cant afford for me to take off sick. I didnt figh it either. I am already fighting being ikl. I miss work so much.
Hi ;),
I'm new to this site...and frankly the Lupus is mostly new to me, but I also have Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. I was born with it and officially diagnosed at 18 months. Things haven't ever been easy for me so as far as that goes, I completely understand. Unfortunately my JRA and Lupus are out of control right now and got so bad that I can't work at this time, so I understand the extra stresses life with autoimmune diseases can toss up. I'm so sorry that you're having these problems at work, I would love to tell you that they have nothing to do with the Lupus effects, but unfortunately I without knowing the person I can't say what their intent was. However, when it comes to thinking sometimes that you would be better off dead, I know that your family wouldnt agree with you at all!!! Your husband needs you and Im sure loves you very much and if you have any kids they love and need you and if you dont have kids, your other family members love and need you in their lives!!! I know how much living with an autoimmune disease sucks....I have two! And I'm turning 30 this year and dont have a family of my own and that bothers me alot, I sometimes feel like dating is even too much work now with all of the extra fatigue of the JRA and Lupus, I was handling things ok and overcoming with my JRA, but now the Lupus plus Tendonitis in my ankles and I also have a painful eye condition....its not that I cant find dates, I dont seem to have a problem, but I dont know if they realize everything I go through and if they're ready for that in their lives on a daily basis. With all of that said, I am a christian, Idk if you believe in God or not, but I draw strength from God and find peace on some level that he gives me to deal with all of this. I feel that it is making me a stronger person, that doesnt mean that Im never depressed- I am often lol, and that I dont have a ton of hurdles, but I take them one by one and try to jump them gracefully lol...Sometimes I fall flat on my face instead, however I get back up brush my self off and continue on my life adventure. (And lets be honest, if we were reading a choose your own adventure book, this is NOT the adventure we would have picked!) haha but, it is the adventure we have been put in and we just have to try to make the best out of every situation. Not easy most times, I know! But go look at a sunset or watch the waves roll across the water at a beach or take in all of the beautiful fall colors if you live in a state where you can take advantage of that, even though sometimes life is really really hard, you can take pleasure in the beauty of nature or your baby sleeping so sweet and content or a young niece or nephew's smiles and giggles, spending time with family and friends and just enjoying the parts of life that we can enjoy. Those are just some of my thoughts and I'm not always happy go lucky but I try to be positive and take advantage of all of the good days!! :) And whenever someone's having a bad day or even a terrible day, if I can help in any way I'd love to!
Zippy,
Wow, what a heartless and terrible thing to say to someone! I'm so sorry you had to go through that on top of everything your already dealing with.
zippy said:
I had a job that I loved and I got sick it took the dr 1 1/2 to figure it out and by then I was over the four days a year I was allowed to miss. I was honest with my boss. When I fou d out what it was I told my boss and thats when he let me go. He said I wouldnt recover from this. If I had a broken bone, surgeryn or cancer. I would get better. They have a small office and cant afford for me to take off sick. I didnt figh it either. I am already fighting being ikl. I miss work so much.
Please do not say that.
I do also think that perhaps your boss was try to help you. However, by law if the reduce your hours and or pay they are effectively laying you off. This would allow you to file for unemployment if you chose, however I would perhaps speak with someone at legal aid. That is what they are there for. With your situation, I am certain that they will make accommodations to assist you.
Please do not give up. It is an unfortunate long term solution to what I hope is a temporary problem. I am not discounting your feelings, believe me when I tell you I have been and still go there occasionally. I try always to make myself wait 24 hours (usually with some of my favorite movies) and just let my mind NOT dwell for a short time. It usually helps. Please don't forget that you can PM any of the moderators or your friends on here or please use the hotline under discussions.
Big hugs,
DeAnne
I agree with heymj, talking to an attorney won't cause any harm and it will give you information and ammunition if you need it. But as she said if you really feel your boss is not helping but hurting you follow your gut, it's always right. Also, about your husband, tell him he hurt you or was insensitive, no need to keep that inside along with all the other stuff. He's your partner he needs to know how you feel when he says things like that. As Lori said money isn't everything and you are more important, I agree with that wholeheartedly. Try to get some rest and some peace, things will work out the way they are supposed to, they always do. Just take care of you sweetie, thoughts are with you. Snowwolf
MBPP,
You were a social worker, too? I was a social worker for ten years with this agency and two prior with a nursing home and I have been a social services supervisor for the last six. It is so stressful! Makes life hard for a lupie (I also have type 1 diabetes and Alopecia, possibly Sjogren's). Before this demotion happened, I was looking for something else and I had even told my employer that I felt a strong pull to do something in health care advocacy. I should be more accepting of the demotion and I will eventually. It just hurts! (and I'm mad, even if I shouldn't be). Thank you for sharing and best of luck with everything for you, too!
MBPP said:
JDT, I went through something very similar years ago. I was forced to leave a job I loved after 13 years due to an illness and I screamed "unfair", "you're a bitch (my direct supervisor" and so on. But, I could no longer perform the essential job functions and there was no way to accommodate the illness I had. I say all that calmly now, but back then, I was a pissed off, raging lunatic who could not see their point of view. I did dust off my shoes, go back to school for nine months and voila, I am now a certified paralegal (an unemployed one, sure, but I have the skills and the job history in case I am ever well enough to work again.) and guess what? I loved being a paralegal even more than being a social worker. So, cry, rage, curse, yell, whatever it takes, and then dust off your shoes and reinvent yourself or do your same kind of work somewhere part time. If you really feel like your employment is going to end, I would start looking now. Good luck. Mary Beth
Thank you so much! I have gained so much from the support here. :-)
Snowwolf said:
I agree with heymj, talking to an attorney won't cause any harm and it will give you information and ammunition if you need it. But as she said if you really feel your boss is not helping but hurting you follow your gut, it's always right. Also, about your husband, tell him he hurt you or was insensitive, no need to keep that inside along with all the other stuff. He's your partner he needs to know how you feel when he says things like that. As Lori said money isn't everything and you are more important, I agree with that wholeheartedly. Try to get some rest and some peace, things will work out the way they are supposed to, they always do. Just take care of you sweetie, thoughts are with you. Snowwolf