So I have had to request changes to my job due to lupus for the first time. It's a big deal for me because I want to be able to do anything I could before my diagnosis. I am extremely stubborn. The truth is my doctors would have liked me to change things months ago but I hate to let my boss down. It is in HR's hands now and I am nervously waiting to see how my job will change. I feel proud that ai was brave enough to acknowledge that I need help. I am putting my family first as I am hopeful this change will keep me healthier and therefore a healthy participant in my life. At the same time, I am sad, confused, embarrassed, stressed, worried what others will think of me, and so on. It's not helping this already spoon depleted woman kerp it all together. Anyone have a similar experience and want to provide reassurance that I did the right thing.
Oh Northrock, You are not alone.
I was a year into a newer management roll, decent salary wage until diagnosed in May 2016. I've worked for the same company for 32 years. They have been very supportive and are concerned w/my health and how they can help. So they did some administrative restructuring and put me into a needed roll the company will benefit from, taking me away from management and the stress involved. Of course that comes with a pay cut back to hourly - but it is fair for the company and for the unpredictable flares of Lupus, right? My new structure starts Tuesday.
I have all your emotions - except I'd replace embarrassed with frustrated - we can't control the hand we've been given. We need to learn to adapt and do what we can. And the let the boss down factor - yes, feel that way too. But your health is not about your boss, your job, going the laundry, cleaning the house, making dinner, getting to kids to soccer - whatever we want to do but cannot. Your health is about YOU, and you alone. You ARE putting your "family first" - you need to put YOU FIRST. I'm doing my best not to take in other people's worries, stresses, dramas - including family. Do you own your company? Well then, it's up to them to worry about how best to proceed w/business. And if they are good people, they will do right by you. You are doing the right thing!!!
If you are a faith based person, ask for help, guidance and strength from there and give your worries, insecurities and the fear of the unknown to Him (or Her). I came across a sentence in an article that I love - when I feel stressed or a little overwhelmed at the moment - Breath in Christ's love, exhale your worries. I close my eyes - go to my happy place in my mind, take a few concentrated deep breaths and exhale my worries of the moment.
Northrock, we will get through this. We will be fine. We will need to make adjustments in our lives - and if it is in the best interest of our health, happiness and longevity of life - how can you question if it's right? It's just different and we know how people like change, right?
I hope all the best to you. Hang in there. Hugs your way.
Thank you so much MommaBear. Your reply helped me so much. Hugs.
Oh northrock,there is no need to be sad,embarrassed etc.You can't help having flares and your illness.You didn't ask for it so don't you worry so much about changes to your job.I am glad your are putting your health and family first.You did the right thing imo
Hey Northrock! I can relate to you on this.. I was working two jobs, 6 days a week. I realized that one job that is in the career field I want to stay in was willing to offer me more hours, and the other job reached the point where it was just added stress and having only 1 day of rest (which wasn't even a resting day because I had numerous things to get done that I couldn't get done throughout the rest of the week) just was not working for me. I too hate feeling like I let people down; the job I left was one that I was well respected at, and that I took part in building the position up from what it was when I accepted it. But the sense of relief I have felt since I left there has been tremendous and this may have been the major turning point in my life where I realized there really are times that -->I<-- need to put myself first and take care of me!!!
Anyways...enough about me! How did everything go for you?!?!