Sorry for the mistype. My parents are not dead only my father is passed. Weird mistake, chalk it up to a lupus flare.
Tez_20 said:
Hello Astrid,
With how you've explained your family history, it's like health issues have followed the same as mine...now on my dads side going back to my 10th g/grandfahter as i worked on the family tree all brother and sister in each line went as fare as having upto 15 children...mind you that's alot for a woman and with my dad and siblings there was 13 but on my moms side 3-4 children the most but furthur back in generation it reaches 8-10 children but like you say what if cousins was to be tested they'd have to be carrying some autoimmune disease like you say or even lupus itself but i do what the tele and science itself loves these kind of issues.
I watched a programme ages ago about arthritis carrying in family's and twins apparentley are the most at risk to carry arthritis if twins are in the family and there was quite a few twins on my dads side going back in generation.
I know i should'nt say this but with both family's and what i've come to having besides other issues...sometimes when i'm really stressed and down and end up crying, i often say to ste i'm only missing either cancer or an heart attack.
You takecare also dear friend and all my love to you. xxx
astrid40 said:
Hi there Tez_20, Goodness with all those different health issues on both sides of your parents, its a good job that your doctor is keeping an eye on you. My Grandmother was a child of ten brothers and sisters. Alot of her brothers and sisters have sadly passed away now. I think there are only two that are still alive, one sister and one brother. It does make me think though with the brothers and sisters of my nans which are ten in total, they all had children. Do they have auto-immune diseases. I know there are still some forms of auto-immune diseases happening in the family blood line, as one of the cousins has Rheumatoid Arthritis, and another has Ulcerative Colitis. It would be really interesting in a way, if they were all to be tested. It wouldnt be very nice for anyone, but would be very interesting, and good for records and research too. As they do use that sort of information especially in large families. My grandmothers children, she only had five children. A son, two daughters and twins that died. My nans son died of cancer at about 40odd. That was my mothers mum. On my dads side, my Nan had an auto-immune disease which use to affect her kidneys, i cant remember the name of it now. Both her sons died of cancer, my dad and his brother before my grandmother and grandfather died, strange isnt it? As in life we dont expect the parents to outlive the children. Anyway bye for now, take care, look after yourself, speak soon, love and hugs Astrid40xoxo
Unshoreandscared said:
Tez_20
..my parents are dead but i know they would have been tested. On my dads side it's cancer/strokes/asthma/skin trouble/arthristis and my moms side diabetes/lung disease/heart attacks and also arthritis, so my doc keep regular blood checks on me.
I was just thinking about this very topic today. Heredity. My family has the same line of diseases you mentioned. Oddly, my grandmother has 2 sisters and both my grandmother and great aunt (her sister) died between 61-65 the same way in their sleep from heart problems. The last surviving sister is healthy at 77 years old. I wonder if there is a correlation between the prior listed disorders and autoimmune heredity.
I know this is not the crux of your response, but I thought it was interesting that we both thought of the same thing.
Hi Unshoreandscared, Dont worry about the mistype, thankyou for putting us straight though. I am exactly the same at the moment. I am having a bad flare at the moment as well, it does that to us doesnt it? I feel as though i dont know whether i am coming, going or been at the moment and having to keep notes of silly things so that i dont forget what i have done and repeat myself with things. I am writing down when i have taken my tablets as i am so tired. I knocked over my drinks on my bedside table yesterday afternoon, which was more frustrating than anything, as i dont know about you, but i get much more clumsier. I am bad enough as it is when i have just got the high inflammation without it going further into more of a flare. I have never ever actually had a remission period as such, the closest i came was when my ESR was starting to get right down and i started to get quite hopeful, then two weeks later, bang, right back to where i started. I really dont get this at times. I can hardly see either at the moment, i expect hopefully my eyesight should get abit better as the day goes on, everything is abit of a blur at the moment. I wont go on any longer, but i would like to say, i do understand, and i really hope you start to feel abit better soon, keep strong, we are all here for you, look after yourself, be kind to yourself, prayers, love and hugs Astrid40xoxo
Like Ann said at least you've still got your mom and i'm pleased where that's concerned for you....where my parent's are concerned i lost the two but it destroyed me when i lost my best friend my dad and had to have councilling for 3yrs, it's terrible when people we love pass away.
Luv Terri xxx
Ann A. said:
I am glad that you still have a Mommie.
Unshoreandscared said:
Sorry for the mistype. My parents are not dead only my father is passed. Weird mistake, chalk it up to a lupus flare.
@ Ann and Tez_20, when my father died, his absence ripped a whole in my family and immediately everyone turned on me. It doesn't help that I look exactly like him and I was his favorite and everyone knew it. But, the estrangement, is what I don't understand, I am currently in therapy to understand. Immediately after my father's death, my mother and I argued non stop and now we don't speak and will not be likely too. Then I was dx with Lupus. So, I am just use to the storm as this is all I know over the past 3 years.
So, when I read my post over again, I could not believe I put my mother was dead, that was a shocker. I don't know why I put that, eventhough at times I feel I lost both parents.
I went to the Dr. yesterday and learned that I may have sleep apnea and must do a sleep study.,,,, Really??? When it rains it pours in my life, I am tired of the bad news, I want to be happy, carefree once again. This new life is riddled with issues problems and concerns. Its too much at times.
I'm so sorry to hear what happened when your dad died but i do hope you can in time get some reconcilliation with your mom...i never attended my dads funeral as my mom did'nt want me to take anyone with me and that was including my hubby before we was married so i did'nt go but she died 2yrs after with a broken heart constantley crying for him...i could'nt be around her to much as i was having councilling for myself about his death.
I do know what your going through to a certain extent and none of it helps being ill with the Lupus either and as your doctor got to run a test to make sure you do have sleep apnea and if you have can they help you in anyway concerning meds etc.
Life with Lupus never stops one way or another it's how you cope in general and what benefits you get for meds plus i do hope your therapy goes well for you.
((Hugs Terri)) xxx
Unshoreandscared said:
@ Ann and Tez_20, when my father died, his absence ripped a whole in my family and immediately everyone turned on me. It doesn't help that I look exactly like him and I was his favorite and everyone knew it. But, the estrangement, is what I don't understand, I am currently in therapy to understand. Immediately after my father's death, my mother and I argued non stop and now we don't speak and will not be likely too. Then I was dx with Lupus. So, I am just use to the storm as this is all I know over the past 3 years.
So, when I read my post over again, I could not believe I put my mother was dead, that was a shocker. I don't know why I put that, eventhough at times I feel I lost both parents.
I went to the Dr. yesterday and learned that I may have sleep apnea and must do a sleep study.,,,, Really??? When it rains it pours in my life, I am tired of the bad news, I want to be happy, carefree once again. This new life is riddled with issues problems and concerns. Its too much at times.
Hi Unshoreandscared, Sorry i just read your message to Ann and Tez and i really feel for you. Its so hard when you are grieving. I lost three people only two years ago. I lost my best friend, grandfather and father all in the same month about two years ago. They were all within a few days of each other in the September of 2010. I remember my dad dying and being at my dads funeral and them saying and let us pray for victor who died yesterday, it all seems so surreal doesnt it? And i had only just been to my best friends funeral the week before, it was like a bad dream. I am so pleased you are getting some help. I didnt cope very well with the grief and i ignored important things, i sort of buried my head in the sand so to speak. I went around doing things, but anything really important like say forms or anything that say was too much as i thought just got put to one side for another time. It was really strange. I do know what you mean about the arguments, my stepmother and i argued after my father died and i thought you really dont have a clue do you? But there you go. I expect mine is probably a totally different situation to yours. I did have some counselling but only for a few weeks. I think it was supposed to be for six weeks but i must of missed about three being ill with the Lupus. Yet i wasnt allowed to have the lost sessions, as this so called cousellor said it was my loss if i had missed them, i thought some counsellor you are, hehe. I do feel alot better than i did. I still miss them of course. I really miss my friend more than words can say. I used to see her every day, she had her own health issues. We used to see each other every day. I was the one to find her in her bed when she had passed away which also really affected me for a while. I think i blocked it abit too. I think thats what us women tend to do in order to function, we block anything painful, as we are the ones who have to carry on with everything. There comes a time though when we just need to let it all out and have a good old cry and have someone who understands who we can talk to. Anyway my dear friend Unshoreandscared, i really do hope you feel a little better after speaking to others on here, dont worry about your typing mistake, its totally understandable. You hang in there. You are a lovely person, keep strong, look after yourself, take care, love and huge hugs Astrid40xoxo
Unshoreandscared said:
@ Ann and Tez_20, when my father died, his absence ripped a whole in my family and immediately everyone turned on me. It doesn't help that I look exactly like him and I was his favorite and everyone knew it. But, the estrangement, is what I don't understand, I am currently in therapy to understand. Immediately after my father's death, my mother and I argued non stop and now we don't speak and will not be likely too. Then I was dx with Lupus. So, I am just use to the storm as this is all I know over the past 3 years.
So, when I read my post over again, I could not believe I put my mother was dead, that was a shocker. I don't know why I put that, eventhough at times I feel I lost both parents.
I went to the Dr. yesterday and learned that I may have sleep apnea and must do a sleep study.,,,, Really??? When it rains it pours in my life, I am tired of the bad news, I want to be happy, carefree once again. This new life is riddled with issues problems and concerns. Its too much at times.
Hi Unshoreandscared, Sorry i forgot to mention i also have Sleep Apneoa, i had to attend one of those Sleep Clinics, I am waiting for Oxygen to arrive at the moment, everything takes its time over here, hehe. You will be okay when you do it, they are usually really nice to you when you go and they make you a nice cuppa cocoa or something, they try and make you as relaxed as they can. As they want to make it as it would be as you would be at home. I do understand how apprehensive you are, i was scared stiff when i had to go, hehe. You hang in there, keep strong, thinking of you, good luck with therapy, take care, love and hugs Astrid40xoxox
astrid40 said:
Hi Unshoreandscared, Sorry i just read your message to Ann and Tez and i really feel for you. Its so hard when you are grieving. I lost three people only two years ago. I lost my best friend, grandfather and father all in the same month about two years ago. They were all within a few days of each other in the September of 2010. I remember my dad dying and being at my dads funeral and them saying and let us pray for victor who died yesterday, it all seems so surreal doesnt it? And i had only just been to my best friends funeral the week before, it was like a bad dream. I am so pleased you are getting some help. I didnt cope very well with the grief and i ignored important things, i sort of buried my head in the sand so to speak. I went around doing things, but anything really important like say forms or anything that say was too much as i thought just got put to one side for another time. It was really strange. I do know what you mean about the arguments, my stepmother and i argued after my father died and i thought you really dont have a clue do you? But there you go. I expect mine is probably a totally different situation to yours. I did have some counselling but only for a few weeks. I think it was supposed to be for six weeks but i must of missed about three being ill with the Lupus. Yet i wasnt allowed to have the lost sessions, as this so called cousellor said it was my loss if i had missed them, i thought some counsellor you are, hehe. I do feel alot better than i did. I still miss them of course. I really miss my friend more than words can say. I used to see her every day, she had her own health issues. We used to see each other every day. I was the one to find her in her bed when she had passed away which also really affected me for a while. I think i blocked it abit too. I think thats what us women tend to do in order to function, we block anything painful, as we are the ones who have to carry on with everything. There comes a time though when we just need to let it all out and have a good old cry and have someone who understands who we can talk to. Anyway my dear friend Unshoreandscared, i really do hope you feel a little better after speaking to others on here, dont worry about your typing mistake, its totally understandable. You hang in there. You are a lovely person, keep strong, look after yourself, take care, love and huge hugs Astrid40xoxo
Unshoreandscared said:
@ Ann and Tez_20, when my father died, his absence ripped a whole in my family and immediately everyone turned on me. It doesn't help that I look exactly like him and I was his favorite and everyone knew it. But, the estrangement, is what I don't understand, I am currently in therapy to understand. Immediately after my father's death, my mother and I argued non stop and now we don't speak and will not be likely too. Then I was dx with Lupus. So, I am just use to the storm as this is all I know over the past 3 years.
So, when I read my post over again, I could not believe I put my mother was dead, that was a shocker. I don't know why I put that, eventhough at times I feel I lost both parents.
I went to the Dr. yesterday and learned that I may have sleep apnea and must do a sleep study.,,,, Really??? When it rains it pours in my life, I am tired of the bad news, I want to be happy, carefree once again. This new life is riddled with issues problems and concerns. Its too much at times.
Hi Tez_20, Thankyou for your your message. Yes you are right, there are so many members of family who could have Lupus or another type of auto-immune disease. You are right it is fascinating, I do watch a lot of documentaries myself. I might of missed one the other evening on Autistic children. I am not an avid soap fan, i do watch soaps occasionally, it doesnt bother me if i miss one though. I do have friends though who go into a panic attack if they miss Eastenders, i say whats the problem its repeated half a dozen times for goodness sake, plus if you are that desperate its on iplayer. Yes its good, but keep in the real world at the same time. Its about having a balance isnt it? There are twins on both sides of mine and Daves family and both have skipped a generation, so if we had of had children, we may of had twins who is to say eh, hehe. I dont really think about it too much now, as its been about ten years now since i was told i could no longer have children due to the chemo i have had over the years because of the Lupus and other things. Now listen, you can say anything you want to me, i believe we can be honest when we have good friends thats what a true friend is for isnt it? If you cant be honest with a true friend, then who can you be. Its true it is a worry when there are so many health issues on each side of the family. I remember even when i was about fifteen and someone was saying about my Grandmother on my dads side having these growths on her kidneys, and that it could be hereditory, i was thinking about it, as even though i was only a teenager, it still went through my mind and i thought goodness i really hope i never have to go through what Nan is going through, bless her. She has passed away now. She had alot of the same Lupus symptoms too, she also had hair troubles, she had thinning hair and scalp problems, the more i look back on things, the more you see more similarities like all her kidney problems and joint problems way before she got old. My Grandfather was fine though, he was very healthy and very strong too, he didnt pass away until he was 96 so i was lucky enough to have him around for a very long time. It was mainly the women in my family who have been the poorly ones. I started off with a breast lump when i was twenty and ended up having to have treatment, i was so young and so scared. Cancer runs in my family. So i totally understand where you are coming from. And dont worry, crying is good for us once in a while, its a good release. Thank god after five years i was told i was in the clear, i will never forget this surgeon,/consultant making this joke with me and saying "Never darken my door again!", he meant it in a jokey way. It was a really traumatic time because of the time i was in hospital. I might tell you what happened that day one day, it was more to do with the staff not reading my notes really. I will send you a private message and tell you otherwise these messages get far too long, take care, look after yourself, hang in there, thinking of you, love and hugs Astrid40xoxox
Unshoreandscared said:
Sorry for the mistype. My parents are not dead only my father is passed. Weird mistake, chalk it up to a lupus flare.
Tez_20 said:
Hello Astrid,
With how you've explained your family history, it's like health issues have followed the same as mine...now on my dads side going back to my 10th g/grandfahter as i worked on the family tree all brother and sister in each line went as fare as having upto 15 children...mind you that's alot for a woman and with my dad and siblings there was 13 but on my moms side 3-4 children the most but furthur back in generation it reaches 8-10 children but like you say what if cousins was to be tested they'd have to be carrying some autoimmune disease like you say or even lupus itself but i do what the tele and science itself loves these kind of issues.
I watched a programme ages ago about arthritis carrying in family's and twins apparentley are the most at risk to carry arthritis if twins are in the family and there was quite a few twins on my dads side going back in generation.
I know i should'nt say this but with both family's and what i've come to having besides other issues...sometimes when i'm really stressed and down and end up crying, i often say to ste i'm only missing either cancer or an heart attack.
You takecare also dear friend and all my love to you. xxx
astrid40 said:
Hi there Tez_20, Goodness with all those different health issues on both sides of your parents, its a good job that your doctor is keeping an eye on you. My Grandmother was a child of ten brothers and sisters. Alot of her brothers and sisters have sadly passed away now. I think there are only two that are still alive, one sister and one brother. It does make me think though with the brothers and sisters of my nans which are ten in total, they all had children. Do they have auto-immune diseases. I know there are still some forms of auto-immune diseases happening in the family blood line, as one of the cousins has Rheumatoid Arthritis, and another has Ulcerative Colitis. It would be really interesting in a way, if they were all to be tested. It wouldnt be very nice for anyone, but would be very interesting, and good for records and research too. As they do use that sort of information especially in large families. My grandmothers children, she only had five children. A son, two daughters and twins that died. My nans son died of cancer at about 40odd. That was my mothers mum. On my dads side, my Nan had an auto-immune disease which use to affect her kidneys, i cant remember the name of it now. Both her sons died of cancer, my dad and his brother before my grandmother and grandfather died, strange isnt it? As in life we dont expect the parents to outlive the children. Anyway bye for now, take care, look after yourself, speak soon, love and hugs Astrid40xoxo
Unshoreandscared said:
Tez_20
..my parents are dead but i know they would have been tested. On my dads side it's cancer/strokes/asthma/skin trouble/arthristis and my moms side diabetes/lung disease/heart attacks and also arthritis, so my doc keep regular blood checks on me.
I was just thinking about this very topic today. Heredity. My family has the same line of diseases you mentioned. Oddly, my grandmother has 2 sisters and both my grandmother and great aunt (her sister) died between 61-65 the same way in their sleep from heart problems. The last surviving sister is healthy at 77 years old. I wonder if there is a correlation between the prior listed disorders and autoimmune heredity.
I know this is not the crux of your response, but I thought it was interesting that we both thought of the same thing.
Thanks Astrid. I share your sentiments about "burying my head in the sand" for anything in my life surrnounding the first 3 months after my father died. Good thing, I stopped asking myself, "why" and just started living with the reality. The therapy is for the broken relationship with my mother and how to cope with essentially losing two parent roles at the same time.
astrid40 said:
Hi Unshoreandscared, Sorry i just read your message to Ann and Tez and i really feel for you. Its so hard when you are grieving. I lost three people only two years ago. I lost my best friend, grandfather and father all in the same month about two years ago. They were all within a few days of each other in the September of 2010. I remember my dad dying and being at my dads funeral and them saying and let us pray for victor who died yesterday, it all seems so surreal doesnt it? And i had only just been to my best friends funeral the week before, it was like a bad dream. I am so pleased you are getting some help. I didnt cope very well with the grief and i ignored important things, i sort of buried my head in the sand so to speak. I went around doing things, but anything really important like say forms or anything that say was too much as i thought just got put to one side for another time. It was really strange. I do know what you mean about the arguments, my stepmother and i argued after my father died and i thought you really dont have a clue do you? But there you go. I expect mine is probably a totally different situation to yours. I did have some counselling but only for a few weeks. I think it was supposed to be for six weeks but i must of missed about three being ill with the Lupus. Yet i wasnt allowed to have the lost sessions, as this so called cousellor said it was my loss if i had missed them, i thought some counsellor you are, hehe. I do feel alot better than i did. I still miss them of course. I really miss my friend more than words can say. I used to see her every day, she had her own health issues. We used to see each other every day. I was the one to find her in her bed when she had passed away which also really affected me for a while. I think i blocked it abit too. I think thats what us women tend to do in order to function, we block anything painful, as we are the ones who have to carry on with everything. There comes a time though when we just need to let it all out and have a good old cry and have someone who understands who we can talk to. Anyway my dear friend Unshoreandscared, i really do hope you feel a little better after speaking to others on here, dont worry about your typing mistake, its totally understandable. You hang in there. You are a lovely person, keep strong, look after yourself, take care, love and huge hugs Astrid40xoxo
Unshoreandscared said:
@ Ann and Tez_20, when my father died, his absence ripped a whole in my family and immediately everyone turned on me. It doesn't help that I look exactly like him and I was his favorite and everyone knew it. But, the estrangement, is what I don't understand, I am currently in therapy to understand. Immediately after my father's death, my mother and I argued non stop and now we don't speak and will not be likely too. Then I was dx with Lupus. So, I am just use to the storm as this is all I know over the past 3 years.
So, when I read my post over again, I could not believe I put my mother was dead, that was a shocker. I don't know why I put that, eventhough at times I feel I lost both parents.
I went to the Dr. yesterday and learned that I may have sleep apnea and must do a sleep study.,,,, Really??? When it rains it pours in my life, I am tired of the bad news, I want to be happy, carefree once again. This new life is riddled with issues problems and concerns. Its too much at times.
Hi Unshoreandscared, Thankyou for your reply. Well done for coming out of the burying your head, its not easy is it? I dont have any family that i can say i can talk to now. As the only person who i really did talk to used to be my Grandmother who sadly now is in a Care Home because she has really bad Alzeihmers. I have had to try and be strong, and realise i am on my own now, well apart from my husband of course. I do miss having a mum. But thats life sometimes. I really hope you get your differences or whatever is happening sorted out. Its a difficult one. I am thinking of you, and will keep you in my prayers, take care, look after yourself, love and hugs Astrid40xoxox
Thanks Astrid for the empathy. However, I am sooo tired of "dealing" with this issue that I am almost numb with the prospects of things becoming better. Right now I am focused on earning more money, which I had an opportunity to do, but I was going through illness after being dx with Lupus and new medications, which all had there own side effects and was unable to put my best foot forward and earn the higher salary, as I found out this weekend. So, I feel like Poop (trying to be polite). Now, I feel better, medication is under control flares are less frequent now I hope I can try again. I really need the salary boost, this illness is expensive.
So, this is why I am done with my family dysfunction, I don't have time, space or energy to deal with other people's hang ups and build my future. My future, is here and only I can help control it.
Thank you for the wonderful sentiment, it is appreciated.
Hi Unshoreandscared, Thankyou for your reply. I know what you mean. I didnt get to see my relatives at christmas because i had the pneumonia and MRSA afterwards. Anyway i dont know if i said, they always expect us to go over there, when they could just as easily come over here, as they come over this way to go shopping. Anyway this box ofchristmas presents have been sitting here waiting for delivering, one flare after another stopping me from taking them over. And its not like they dont know this. And all they say is we have your presents here. Its like they cant be bothered. I sometimes think they think they are like royalty and that they think everyone should go to them sort of thing. Anyway last weekend i thought blow it, putting it politely i boxed them all up in cardboard boxes and packed what might break in some packing and thought well its tough if they cant be bothered to come and get them. I think i am probably feeling a little less charitable because i am feeling so unwell. But at the same time, it takes alot for me to go and get these things when shopping, but they conveniently forget that. I think the only time they came to visit me was when i was in intensive care last year, then it did sink in a little that Lupus can be quite serious when things go wrong. Ah well, like you said, thats the least of our worries. You are so right, Lupus is expensive, there are so many extra things we need that we dont even think about half the time. And its for me transport as i am not allowed to drive anymore. Having to have softer more dearer purer materials as my skin breaks down quicker due to having been on long term steroid use. Then there is this special shampoo i have to buy for my scalp due to the affects of the Methotrexate and the blisters and ulcers i get on my scalp. Its one thing after another isnt it? Every time i keep hearing this voice that says i cant cope in my head, i keep saying to myself "come on you can do it, you WILL be alright!!". Another thing i try and keep telling myself is to keep on pacing myself. There is so much stress involved in having a chronic disease. Its sometimes hard to switch off, so i try to now shut my eyes for ten minutes or try and read at least before bedtime and cut out any other thoughts. Anyway my dear friend, hang on in there, something good will happen when you least expect it, have faith, i know thats hard when everything feels as though its crumbling around you. Bye for now, take care, thinking of you, prayers, love and hugs Astrid40xoxo
Hey Astrid, You Can Do It... Don't ever forget it. We have to do it no one else can. My strategy is to remain active for as long as I can. Life adjustments are underway. Lonely, it is at times, but I need to be selfish and focus on me.
Hi Unshoreandscared, Yes, we both can do this, we can get through whatever life throws at us, even if it doesnt feel like it at the time. I had a good cry today, which i havent done in a long time. I feel better now so i must of needed it. I think everyone needs to be selfish once in a while. And you treat yourself as though you would treat someone if you were looking after them. Find the little things that make you smile again, keep strong, thinking of you, look after yourself, love and huge hugs Astrid40xoxo
Hi Terri, Thankyou for your lovely message. Thankyou for letting us know where you are, bless you. Please dont worry about not keeping up with things. Of course we will miss you! Better for you to get yourself better. I hate that feeling of brain fog as i am calling it now, it feels as though my head is stuffed with cotton wool at times. And as for remembering things, well thats a no-go alot of the time. I do feel for you with your eyes, you must be so uncomfortable. I know you know what to do, so i wont offer you any advice as i know you are already doing what you can. You are so right, we have to stay strong to get through all this. Anyway my dear friend, you rest and do what you need to do, take care, bye for now, love and huge hugs Astrid40xoxo
Hi Unshoreandscared, I am so sorry to hear you are feeling so awful. I went through a patch feeling really low last week, and wasnt whether it was down to the fact i was and still am having a huge flare at the moment. I expect one is causing the other. I expect the flare is probably having a knock on effect and making you feel low. As feeling down is all part and parcel of having the Lupus. And i expect you are feeling really fed up with how ill you have been feeling, so its not surprising you have been feeling like you have. How are you feeling that its been one year since the diagnosis? Since you got the diagnosis, do you feel as though you have got worse? Have the meds you have been put on helped? I have been diagnosed now for about twelve years. When i look back to when i was first diagnosed, i wasnt quite as unwell as i am now, but i know i was in so much pain, it was unbearable. So, some factors are better than others. When i am feeling down, i try and think of something that i can do for myself, to help make me feel a little better, whether its something silly like putting a face mask on, or soaking my feet in something nice. Or just looking at a magazine. Or if i have enough concentration, i will find a book i have been meaning to read for a while. Sometimes though we cant even think like this. Its really good you have come on here for a chat, as we all know what it feels like to be feeling down. I would think the feeling down is abit of a reactive thing, as its understandable really, You will get through this, it isnt easy i know that, and i am sure everyone else would say the same that its not easy. I am thinking of you, you take care, look after yourself, be kind to yourself, you deserve it. We are all here for you, love and hugs Astrid40xoxox