I look back on the time that I use to look forward to going places, socializing with others, going out with my girl friends. I feel the total opposite now, these days because I have physical challenges, and always in pain, I find myself saying whats the point of even going out of the house. My husband tells me go somewhere if you want, but easier said than done. I have to admit I am very self conscious now,because I walk on a cane, and don't have the stamina I use to have,people that know me are not use to seeing me this way, I was the helper, I was the one visiting the sick, it has been hard to be on the other end of things.
Hello Rose,
I know how you feel deeply and it's terrible when the tables turn on we but don't be worried about your stick and if you need more support being week a rollator is good.
I'm 44 and to be truthful been through so much and what things have brought me to...i mentally don't bother what other's think...ste takes me out for a meal when i'm upto it and where he takes me they have a ramp for rollators and wheelchairs and i use either one to how my legs are affected and what makes my night is being with my hubby and knowing i'm having a change from 4 walls...do this with your husband and you may feel better besides more confidence.
A good many members are in our situation but get out if they can...please and i mean please don't let using a walking stick hold you back still try and enjoy your life when you feel upto it.
My love and thoughts are with you.
Terri :) xxx
Hi Rose,
Tez is right, do not worry what other's think. We all go through that type of feeling but got to let it go by the wayside. Most of the time people are so absorbed into themselves that they couldn't care less about someone walking with a cane. I stopped worrying about other's thoughts. They're irrelevant.
Go out and go with your husband, find things that you can tolerate and enjoy. Don't dare stay in the house like a prisoner, then the disease has won. I know how you feel, cause I was always the person that everyone went to for help. Well, guess what folks? Can't physically help you anymore. I stand up for myself and do what is best for me. No guilt whatsoever. Life is full of changes and that means you have to adjust to them, and so do other people. Be kind to yourself.
Hugs,
Allergic
Hi Rose,
Although I'm still working, I understand how you feel. Many times I just want and need to stay home. I have a cane, but only used a few times. I'm still self-conscious about using it. And actually when I use the cane for my poor foot, then I trade the pain off in my hand : ( There have been days when I feel like taking my cane to work to help. I don't though because I would be tempted to smack a couple of people at work out of my way - just kidding : )
I will go out with my husband to his meetings and it takes me longer on the stairs, he walks patiently with me and if others are in a hurry they can always go around. I walk slower, I need help getting up after sitting, cause I'm stiff and I hurt. But many times, there are others at his meetings that have RA and another one who has lupus.
I avoid going to the mall with my daughter, because I just can't walk that much, and have to find a place to sit, and I get exhausted. I very much want to go shopping with her, but it will have to be on a day I can rest up before hand, and afterward. So I guess, Rose, it makes a difference if the people you choose to go with make you feel ok about your disability or make you feel insecure about it? Love to you Trisha
Hi Ally,
Thanks for you imput mate and that's the best phrase i've heard yet and so true.
Well, guess what folks? Can't physically help you anymore. I stand up for myself and do what is best for me. No guilt whatsoever.
This is the best way of looking at situation's what Ally as stated above.
Love Terri xxx
Allergic said:
Hi Rose,
Tez is right, do not worry what other's think. We all go through that type of feeling but got to let it go by the wayside. Most of the time people are so absorbed into themselves that they couldn't care less about someone walking with a cane. I stopped worrying about other's thoughts. They're irrelevant.
Go out and go with your husband, find things that you can tolerate and enjoy. Don't dare stay in the house like a prisoner, then the disease has won. I know how you feel, cause I was always the person that everyone went to for help. Well, guess what folks? Can't physically help you anymore. I stand up for myself and do what is best for me. No guilt whatsoever. Life is full of changes and that means you have to adjust to them, and so do other people. Be kind to yourself.
Hugs,
Allergic
I think that you are right Trisha, about getting around people that are understanding of my physical challenges. I am going to work on this issue because this is not me, staying in the house avoiding the world. thank you for your encouragement.
Trisha said:ou
Hi Rose,
Although I'm still working, I understand how you feel. Many times I just want and need to stay home. I have a cane, but only used a few times. I'm still self-conscious about using it. And actually when I use the cane for my poor foot, then I trade the pain off in my hand : ( There have been days when I feel like taking my cane to work to help. I don't though because I would be tempted to smack a couple of people at work out of my way - just kidding : )
I will go out with my husband to his meetings and it takes me longer on the stairs, he walks patiently with me and if others are in a hurry they can always go around. I walk slower, I need help getting up after sitting, cause I'm stiff and I hurt. But many times, there are others at his meetings that have RA and another one who has lupus.
I avoid going to the mall with my daughter, because I just can't walk that much, and have to find a place to sit, and I get exhausted. I very much want to go shopping with her, but it will have to be on a day I can rest up before hand, and afterward. So I guess, Rose, it makes a difference if the people you choose to go with make you feel ok about your disability or make you feel insecure about it? Love to you Trisha
Dear Rose,
I understand exactly how you feel....been there done that! However, today is a new day for me, and adjusting to my new life with a handicap. Yes, it takes me longer to get out of the car and Bob drops me off at the door, so I don't have to walk. I'm usually sitting on my roller walker smiling at people until Bob parks the car and catches up with me.
The way I handle things often puts others at ease about how to treat me. It is truly a learning process. No I don't go out with my friends as I used to do. Bob & I do more together...he is protective and wants to make sure I'm OK. I still talk to my friends on the phone and encourage them to share what they are doing with me. The long day trips are out...I cannot keep up and they are concerned and worried if I'm OK, so it not as much fun for them.
Yes, dear, the tables have turned for me too. But I want to get out when I can...enjoy the change of scenery..a nice meal (and almost feel normal while I'm sitting there). However, I am thankful that I am at a point in my life, if it is too hard, I don't have to do it. But when I do, I'll smile as I pass people, greet them...and not give them a reason to feel pity or feel sorry for me. And trust me, it has taken me a while to get there. It gets easier with time as you accept your limitations now.....and finish the grieving of things as they once were.
Love you my friend,
Faye
Hello Rose,
How are you feeling today in yourself plus your health in general besides?
(((Hugs Terri))) xxx
Hi Rose! Im sorry u r feeling cut off from the world! I know its so hard to adapt to living ur life totally different. Ive been trying all year to adapt,not going so well so far either! We will get it though. After a while it will just be the norm ,i guess! Its nice to be able to come talk to people at this site that can relate and give advise!!!! Although im not getting the experience from this site like i thought and was told i would.There are like two main people that have reached out to me,and thats nice but i thought i would find lots an lots of people to talk too! Hope u r having a good day today!!!!
Hello Monique,
I am sorry you feel this way about the site but it's about interacting with members and also having friends besides pm'ing one another...when i first joined i was over whelmed by how members got intouch and i've made some terrific friends.
I hope your having a pleasant day....Love Terri xxx
moniquecrader said:
Hi Rose! Im sorry u r feeling cut off from the world! I know its so hard to adapt to living ur life totally different. Ive been trying all year to adapt,not going so well so far either! We will get it though. After a while it will just be the norm ,i guess! Its nice to be able to come talk to people at this site that can relate and give advise!!!! Although im not getting the experience from this site like i thought and was told i would.There are like two main people that have reached out to me,and thats nice but i thought i would find lots an lots of people to talk too! Hope u r having a good day today!!!!