Hi All,
My husband wants to know what others say about their partner's stress. Apparently He is feeling much stress, says he is writing the book, does not have to read up on it.
What suggestions/support for spouses?
He is typically very good, patient with me esp when I am in pain/flaring.
Thanks All!
MrsDruP
Well, I’m pretty lucky…but my husband just goes with the flow. I don’t think stress is in his vocabulary. He will do whatever and whenever. I don’t even need to ask. He’s a gem. It just is what it is.
Steen took the words out of my mouth…My hubby just goes with it too…doesnt stress. He is johnny on the spot when i need him and otherwise, he is busy working. And he never makes me feel guilty if i lay around for days on end. 
Steen and Flygirl5,
Thanks for your responses. So happy you have perfect spouses. LOL! I can only hope his understanding will increase. At least I have your responses to show him...
My husband is wonderful, as well, but I truly believe it is because he went with me in the beginning to my doc appts. He was able to ask questions, as because I was usually in a "fog", I wouldn't have to try to remember what the doc said. This was invaluable, because lupus doesn't affect just the patient, but the entire family circle. The better informed they are, the more in control of the situation they feel and the less stress. That feeling of unknowing and helplessness is not good for anyone's stress level, but especially for those that are in control in other areas of their lives.
He is probably a lupus expert at this point, reminds me to where sunscreen, is constantly telling me when I am getting lupie, and able to recognize when I need to rest or am otherwise having an issue. Knowing what is going on with me helps him feel more in control and less "stressed".
I do hope this helps, and Doug as a husband has wonderful advice that I have seen on this site.
Feeling helpless to do anything...is a terrible feeling...especially for the male! We use a talking stick...old American
Indian custom...when you hold the stick you can say how you feel and it is agreed that it will not be held against you.
The stick gets passed back and forth...and you still have to know that we will remember what is said. I am usually the one who suggests it when I want to get something off my chest or I know he does but does not want to hurt my feelings.
Also, he still has many outlets for exercises. Glad you have such a wonderful husband.
Hi dke19307,
I appreciated your response, as well as the other responses from the others. I think a man's point of view is valuable. I wish my honey would take the time to read some of this stuff on this site. He is busy now, renovating a home we plan to move into. Its so frustrating not being able to do more to help.
thanks for the website suggestions. Will check them out...eventually. I also have ordered some books about Lupus and coping with chronic illness. Will be helpful to me and hubby.
Have a GREAT day!
MrsDruP