Hey---Since being diagnosed with lupus I have been pretty strong..dealing with life on life terms and always feeling that I need to live a "normal" life. Its like I live in a bubble world because I do not want to be looked at as a whiner or bother others with my issues & I have accepted that. Now, it seems that anything gets to me and that's unusually..I"m not really moved by allot because I put in my mind that how life is going to be and treat it as such. Now I get upset over anything..I hate asking people to do things for me..so I usually do things myself if I'm able to do it or not if I'm not I just deal with it..I miss my old life when I was much healthier and lived a life that was meaningful..I could cut my own yard, work, have a piece of mind..now I'm always hurting and feeling bad always worried about whats going to come up next that I have to figure out how to get it done..(.I was told that's anxiety)...I cant sleep and when I do decide to talk with the doctor it appears that the answer that I get is positive but not really productive..I was told that's depression and anxiety.I was put on medication then once I started taking it life got a little better then other issues came up & i got off of it I felt that "normal" life was back but sadly it wasn't but I did manage to not take the medication and handle it pretty well..now things are falling back to the old way...I'm not interested in or willing to go back on medication because I'm not going to be "normal" I feel that I would be living a stable life based on medication and that's crazy..That mean I would not be dealing with life on life terms. I always expect nothing so when I do get something its a treat (health wise) but now I'm getting to a point I'm tired of living..(I'm tired of being sick and tired)..its like why live on if I got to live taking a medication to make me be stable or feel "normal" I was told that lupus causes allot of emotional and mental issue because trying to figure it out is impossible and there is no way to cope with that but I felt I have done good with it so far and living with this disease is not fun but I feel that I should be able to cope with it without any medication... I feel like I really don't want to deal with people or the world because everyone has there difference thoughts on my illness and how I should deal with it (like taking medication)..I feel that others view me as a ticking time bomb or like I can click at anytime but in my opinion I'm o.k not to take medication...My question is: What should I do? Should I take the medication for depression and anxiety or should I continue to deal with it on my own? Do you think that my thought process is not as stable? PLEASE BE HONEST IT WILL HELP ME OUT A LOT!!!
Life with lupus, or any chronic illness is hard. I resisted medications at first because, well, I just didn’t want to be on a bunch of meds. But my quality of life has gotten better with the various meds. It is nowhere near what I was before the illness but it is way better than it was without medication. Ask for help, take the help and hopefully you will have a better quality of life. There is no shame in asking for help. Good luck.
Thank you sooooo much! B-)
Refusing treatment when you KNOW it is available and effective is NOT dealing with life- quite the opposite You have a medical condition that requires medical support By refusing to acknowledge this you are in denial. So what if you periodically need medication With your attitude all the diabetics in the nation would die because they refuse to take their insulin- rather silly don't you think? Along with your antidepressants you should also participate in a counseling program to help you develop and utilize more effective coping mechanisms to help you through these dark spots. Hopefully you can turn the corner on this
I have a conservative view on medication, too. I've refused medication in the past (before diagnosis) for other conditions including depression. One thing my doctor said, which made sense, is: "if you had cancer or an infection, etc. would you refuse treatment?" If there is medication that can help improve your quality of life, you should at least try. You'll never be the "old you" (we all have to accept that) but if it can help, it's worth a shot. If you don't like the way it makes you feel, or you have side effects that are worse than what it's treating, work with your doctor. There are many different options and they all work differently on different people. Some do very well, others cannot tolerate one but do well on another. Be patient. Your post is one that so many of us could have written as we can understand the frustration, the grief, the exhaustion, the desire for independence (to be stubborn and say you want to do it yourself when people who care are able to help)...it's all common and I think normal for someone with chronic illness(es). Best of luck to you and please keep coming for support. There are some great people on here who do understand.
I was just put on Cymbalta. It has helped take the edge off my anxiety. Please accept the help. I know it’s sometimes stigmatized but it’s there to help you deal with day to day and live as normal as possible. Here if u need to chat
Yes, it is very common with Lupus and other autoimmune conditions to suffer with anxiety and depression. I, too was resistant to treating my depression, but it seems the consensus of my care team was that in not treating it (and treating it effectively), that I was potentially making all of my other problems worse. I had gotten to the point, where I was sobbing uncontrollably and I knew I needed help (which was hard for me, because I am used to being on the other end of things, as a social worker). A year later, I can't say that things are perfect for me, but I am able to function much better with the help of an antidepressant. Please take care of yourself.
Find alanon meetings in your area…online…or buy the books…really helped me and my emotions. …good luck…
consider it as medicine for the brain. I have been on antidepressants and anti anxiety medicines for 30 years for clinical depression and panic disorder. It has made a huge difference in how I deal with the challenges of being chronically ill. The only difficult part is taking the medication long enough to get passed the initial side effects and accrue the benefits. If after 8 weeks, it isn't working or the side effects are too much, you should ALWAYS wean off that med slowly before or while starting a different antidepressant and/or anti-anxiety. I took two or three different ones before I found the one that worked best for me. You should also not stop taking the meds because you feel better....it's the meds helping you feel better, you stop, you crash. Hope you feel better!
Take the medication. You are not “normal” thanks to this disease and will never be “normal”. I was diagnosed as a child so I don’t even know what “normal” is. I would never not take a medication just because I feel like a loser if I did. That’s self abuse. You can be angry and frustrated that you feel like crap but don’t punish yourself in the process. If the meds help and the side effects aren’t too awful then take it. If the docs told me that standing on my head every hour for five minutes would help I’d be standing on my head…lol I loathe taking narcotics but I take them because if I don’t I turn into the wicked bitch from hell and my kids deserve better. Hope this helps, Annemarie
Well i personally deceided to take meds but you should try to handle by yourself and if it doesnt work consider your other options.
Take it! I am on Cymbalta, and it was a lifesaver! I fought without it as long as I could. I also have Xanax for anxiety when needed. I just accepted I needed the help and doing so made my life better.
I feel your conundrum. Why can't all of it be easy to figure out. I recommend you take the meds. Many of us have. It helps me deal. There is a depression symptom to the lupus.
You have to hold on.
I agree with Artchick.... I was the same .. My illness actually started with panic attacks (along with the other symptoms that came in the weeks and months that followed). Some things cannot be changed; I will never be the take charge, handle things by myself person again. That is a fact. I am so blessed to have people who want to help when they can. Taking these medications do not make you appear weak; in fact, it is the opposite. They help you feel more like yourself so you are better able to cope with whatever the day may bring. Warm hugs to you and please know you are not alone. Dee
artchick said:
consider it as medicine for the brain. I have been on antidepressants and anti anxiety medicines for 30 years for clinical depression and panic disorder. It has made a huge difference in how I deal with the challenges of being chronically ill. The only difficult part is taking the medication long enough to get passed the initial side effects and accrue the benefits. If after 8 weeks, it isn't working or the side effects are too much, you should ALWAYS wean off that med slowly before or while starting a different antidepressant and/or anti-anxiety. I took two or three different ones before I found the one that worked best for me. You should also not stop taking the meds because you feel better....it's the meds helping you feel better, you stop, you crash. Hope you feel better!
You are definitely not alone with how you feel. But please - take the medication for depression! I have been taking Wellbutrin for 2 years now and probably won't stop taking it. We have to realize that sometimes we are going to have to take drugs in order to help with something that you can't control. I am also going to try Jill Harrington's Lupus Recovery Diet. I have made a lot of changes to the way I eat these past several months and I really do feel better - I just need to do this all the way - which means only "whole foods" - no meat, fish, chicken, dairy - basically going 100% vegan. It can't hurt - plus hopefully I'll be able to drop some weight that just doesn't seem to go away.
Eye candy,
Anti-depressants did me more harm than good, so I went off, then learned that 80% of people on anti-depressants are still depressed, because prescription anti-depressants are only meant for people who have brain chemistry imbalances of dopamine and serotonin. They don't take away the life circumstance that is making you depressed. They don't make you high, so if you don't have a brain chemical imbalance, the probably won't help. If you decide to go off, taper off s-l-o-w-l-y because you will get nasty symptoms if you do it quickly. My night terrors and a few other symptoms disappeared when I stopped taking them. There are natural remedies for anxiety that are less toxic than prescriptions, but again, taper ff slowly. I occasionally need bromazepam that dissolves under my tongue & sinks into the blood vessels there. I think the fast acting works much better than anxiety meds you take expecting to stay calm all day. We were not meant to stay calm and happy all the time. You have to decide what is a natural reaction and what is a severe reaction needing meds. This is a tough life, and almost all of us have had days where we just don't want to do this anymore, but there are lessons to be learned from our trial. It's like a fast track to learning all the virtues that most people will never learn if they don't have a period of pain and illness. Virtues such as compassion, patience, courage, perseverance, faith, hope, and good choices in lifestyle.others learn from us, even if we say nothing. One natural supplement that saved me is Sam-e. It's a chemical already in our brain but those with chronic pain are short on it and it helps depression, stress, pain, sleep. It helps with 14 brain and body chemicals. Its so much better than any prescription I've tried. You can take it with a prescription or you can take it while going off your prescription, and it will help prevent withdrawal. Also vitamin D is a HUGE help for depression, especially for SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder or winter depression), and it helps with stress and pain. It heals the central nervous system so well, it has been found to prevent Multiple Sclerosis. (MS) and CNS lupus effects. I hope you can find things to improve your quality of life.
I take Paxil. Have for years. Any type of chronic illness would depress the strongest soul. There’s no Shane in seeking help through medications. I take xanax after my steroids to lower my heart rate. Or I break one in half when I’m having a panic attack. Living with this isn’t easy. But all things considering, we’re all doing a pretty good job. 
I have to take an antidepressant and have for 35 years. I have discovered that each year about this time I start feeling anxious and yet there is nothing wrong and I am happy. I rarely let the autoimmune issues or my other health issues get to me. I didn't even realize that it is the same time of the year but one of my sisters has been tracking for me and has told me that it happens every year. Last year though it got very scary bad. Here I am again and I have a doctor appointment on Monday. My hubby is going too because he is a new doctor and I am scared that he will not listen to me even though he is great. It happened to me before and I got so bad I was suicidal last year and finally went to a doctor who listened. Please know that if you have a chemical imbalance it is no different then any other imbalances within you body. Best of luck
Hello!, we that Live with Lupus have those challenges all the time! We feel as though the world is against us at times. To be balanced is a hard job! We all here have those moments! Talk with your doctor who gives you the antidepressants and let he /she know these things and express how you are trying to cope with day to day, and the Lupus! I feel the same way at times, not wanting to take my antidepressants, but if I don’t take them -I be all over the place. LOL. Seriously! I be all over the place. Yes it is hard , but Life itself is hard! Just try to relate to the best that you can, not doing as much through the day, and make time for yourself-at least 30 mins, you deserve it! One more thing you have to do what is best for YOU!! Hang in there, things will be okay…Beverly L.
Thousands of people donot find out what they have in time to take meds to help them to live a normal life you have people with other diseases that take triple the amount of meds we do o a daily basis , if some thing is going to make me feel normal I am for it, I read up on the side effects and pray to God I have as less as possiable , and thank God for allowing me to find out what I have in time to manage this disease as long as I live.I so miss doing tasks that I normally do at a faster pace, I just minimize myself and get as much rest as possiable.I work a full time job and take care of my elderly mom and with this lupus it gets unbearable at times but if I dont try everyday than lupus has beat me and it is not like that I have lupus ,lupus doesnot have me , So take your meds and live life to the fulliest , So many go through far worst the us , God already wrote your book you are just the star in it ,you wont know the ending unless you live through each chapter.