Does anyone else feel useless since they got sick? I am so completely tired of this sick shadow of my life. I tried to go pull weeds early this morning and I couldn’t last five minutes. Not to mention, I’m in pain everywhere now, and my hubby got all scared because I didn’t tell him where I was going. I feel like a weak little five year old with no independence what so ever!
It will be ok…im sick today too…just take it one hour at a time…try to do something good for yourself later…stay strong…
I don’t have a hubby to worry about me…you are looking at this all wrong…be positive and it will help tremendously!!!
I have been feeling the same way since months before I was diagnosed! That's been over a year now. I can't do much of anything before I am so weak and hurting I have to lie down the rest of the day. There doesn't seem to be much more the rheumy can do at this point unless I want to take large doses of prednisone and I am too concerned about weight issues to do that. I'm able to do just enough to keep the house somewhat in order and laundry done. It's a good thing I don't have to work outside the home! I don't have "flares". If so, it's one dang long flare. I hate that anyone has to go through this, but I am glad I'm not alone. ; )
Yes! I feel like that most of the time! But I am now discovering ways to still be helpful. I research coupons and deals for my family, I get on forums like this and help others struggling with this awful disease and now I just started to write about my frustrations and struggled with this disease. Little by little and now I am finally starting to feel worth. I can’t do much of anything physically but at least I decides to do things for others which makes me contribute on some way. I would encourage you to find something like that. It’s not much but it’s a start and it really lessens the feelings of being worthless.
I hope you feel better soon! Hugs-Tina
I think we all feel the way you do at times. It seems to go in cycles as to how we feel from day to day. I haven't been able to do anything outside for about 3 years until this year. I felt horrible for that long or longer and right now I am much better most of the time. And I am a positive thinker but that doesn't make you feel better. I happen to be a person that others turn to as a sounding board so I focused on that as my contribution to the world. I researched a lot of things on the internet that others were wondering about, I meditated and prayed (still do) etc. I have been so bad that I could barely walk and used a walker or cane. I started quilting and it was in fits and starts due to feeling so bad but eventually I pushed myself a little more each day and most days I got a lot done with my quilting. Due to other issues walking and standing is very difficult for me a lot of time. Soooo, how about counted cross stitch as something to do or knitting or crocheting? Try to find something that you can do and give to others. It helps me a lot.
Know you are not alone and you are in my thoughts and prayers!
Thank you everybody! I think I just needed to hear I’m not alone.
I feel useless when I think about not having a job yet. I thought I’d be back working by now but there’s always something in my way whether its anxiety attacks brain fog extreme tiredness or just general feeling sic I have yet to reach my goal of working one day a week.
Jenni,
I think we've all felt that on some level. There are days we just aren't well enough to do anything and you know what? That is all right. Even those 'non-Lupus' folk have those. As for outdoor activity...well, if it's warm where you are and sunny to boot- it seems like those things zap us quickly. I sat on the porch earlier for just a few minutes and it left me drained a bit. But that's not why I post. You are useful. If you need to rest...rest. If you need to break your day down into small goals and minutes....do it. Yes, our lives are a bit different than others. That is OK. Think about what you are able to do no matter how great or small. You do have use. You've already fulfilled one today- you've used your voice here. Sometimes the smallest statement can be huge validation for someone else. I'm sorry you feel this way today. My hope is that it will pass soon.
Take Care,
Vicky
I feel sooooooooooooo much the very same way. I have been suffering with this feeling for yrs now & I wish I could say it gets better. For me, it has gotten worse. I was a Pilot, ran International Wall street Firms & the list goes on, but now-----------------have enough energy to watch tv & eat.
Every morning, when I first wake, for the first few minutes, I think I am still this person I use to be------then the pain hits-----& reality hits. I have tried sooooooooo many volunteer jobs, but they need someone to be reliable & keep to a set schld, so I have lost many!!!! Funny, never fired from a job, but have been from volunteering!!
I don't have a support system, 4 friends do leave after awhile-------as they should, 4 they r useto the "Old Peg" & not the sick Peg. They also have their life to live & mine has turned into a "shade"------------so I truly understand how u feel.......
I pray for all of us & I pray for u my Dear-------much love to u---Peg
The fact that you wake up everyday, you love your family, you advocate your health care, are amazing feets in your life. Be strong in areas you can. Definately help yourself get better. There are really bad things.people face. Being blessed enough to wake everyday, see it is that. Keep your chin up and stay blessed.
and it only gets worse, I fear
I call that "mourning my health" moments. It's like dreaming of your youth. It's gone and doesn't matter how much you want it back, that's what it is: back there somewhere at the point of no return. I cried, I pouted, I got bitter, depressed, and hard to get along. Since it got me nowhere, I decided I was the one to change--time to move on.
I changed my lifestyle. Instead of looking at what I was unable to do, I counted my blessings. I was happy for every thing I could accomplish. I have a diary of accomplishments. Every day I count my blessings while I remember all I could do that day. Some days I write just how I was able to get up that day, managed to take care of myself. I may be able to water 5 plants I keep outside. They are beautiful by the way! On the good days, I am looking to help someone somewhere. I may cook for a family member to have a hot meal at the end of a hard working day and see them smile.
There is always a purpose for living. Who was the philosopher that once said that a sign of living is change? If you're changing, you are alive; if you don't, you're dead. If the river water that is now is not, so shouldn't we.
Do not feel alone. We all went through that. I learned take it minute by minute. Let yourself have rest and peaceful time and DO NOT FEEL GUILTY about it!!!!!
I had to grieve loss of all the things i can not do anymore. But became more positive. I am fortunate that i have understanding family friends and colluage. Toke same education about the disease but reaping the fruits now.
Stay strong. Take courage and above all smile even if you dont feel like it.
Much love
Hell, it is okay to feel this way!! Just rest as much as possible and simple ! Yes there are going to times feeling like this, but ONLY YOU can solve this moment! You must get on a pain management schedule, it really helps. Realizing how, when , what , are the things that you relate during making this plan , also add how you feel before and after you do whatever . Combined all of this into a formation , where everything end with a rest period-(shutdown time, power nap, timeout moment just for YOU). Relating to your pain management schedule will help -Trust ME…Beverly L.
One day at at time, lol, that is where i am today, tomorrow i will be right there with you, it sucks dont it, yes i feel useless, totally useless, im just hoping to sleep tonight, insomnia can be a bitch, it is making me crazy, i hope your pain goes away soon, thinking of you tonight, thinking of us
Yes - I also feel useless most of the time. I'm 68 and am living on a VERY limited income. I can't afford to do much and the lupus doesn't allow me to anyway. I was just told by a fairly new friend (from the building I live in) that I am too unreliable to be a good friend. I have thought about volunteering, but cannot guarantee reliability. So, I sit here and use up resources and wonder what this is all about...
She is not worthy of your friendship. What a self centered and rude person she is, Susan! When you do feel good find other friends in the building. Bake something one day and knock on someones door that maybe you have seen and would like to meet, on the next day and share the cookies. Be upfront that you have health issues and sometimes you can't do much but other days you can. Or invite a couple of people to your apartment for cookies and tea or coffee. Do some volunteering that does not have to be scheduled. I have volunteered at nursing homes on my own to just visit after clearing it with the staff. You could have a small bottle of non scented hand lotion and rub their hands or just talk. Tell the staff that you can't be there any set days due to lupus. I'm sure most would understand. But please, don't ever let anyone treat you the way that person did. You are here for a reason and have the life and body that you do for a reason and now you have to find out what that reason is. We all have to do that and many times we have to make adjustments along the way. We are here to encourage you so keep trying and we will listen. My turn is just around the corner for needing a pep talk I just don't know when the time will be yet. Hugs, Reet
susanjs said:
Yes - I also feel useless most of the time. I'm 68 and am living on a VERY limited income. I can't afford to do much and the lupus doesn't allow me to anyway. I was just told by a fairly new friend (from the building I live in) that I am too unreliable to be a good friend. I have thought about volunteering, but cannot guarantee reliability. So, I sit here and use up resources and wonder what this is all about...
Hi, I wrote a very nice and long response to you , but am on my iPad and it has been having a mind of it's own lately (it erased it , and I can't really remember what I said in the response-smile or LOL I am), but anyway, keep your faith strong ,pray, believe, and hope, has been a good comfort zone for me, we are all god's children and he will not Allow nothing to happen that he knows that we can't bare....Beverly L. susanjs said:
Yes - I also feel useless most of the time. I'm 68 and am living on a VERY limited income. I can't afford to do much and the lupus doesn't allow me to anyway. I was just told by a fairly new friend (from the building I live in) that I am too unreliable to be a good friend. I have thought about volunteering, but cannot guarantee reliability. So, I sit here and use up resources and wonder what this is all about...
Beverly, this made me laugh. IPads, laptops, phones, whatever....I am always losing something I wrote too! Thanks for the laugh.
Beverly L. said:
Hi, I wrote a very nice and long response to you , but am on my iPad and it has been having a mind of it's own lately (it erased it , and I can't really remember what I said in the response-smile or LOL I am), but anyway, keep your faith strong ,pray, believe, and hope, has been a good comfort zone for me, we are all god's children and he will not Allow nothing to happen that he knows that we can't bare....Beverly L. susanjs said:Yes - I also feel useless most of the time. I'm 68 and am living on a VERY limited income. I can't afford to do much and the lupus doesn't allow me to anyway. I was just told by a fairly new friend (from the building I live in) that I am too unreliable to be a good friend. I have thought about volunteering, but cannot guarantee reliability. So, I sit here and use up resources and wonder what this is all about...