Men go through menopause just like women so it is possible that is something physical going on....you might suggest a physical to see if his hormones are at correct levels or if something else is physically wrong.
BUT if this has been how he has always acted!! than i am sorry that you are in stuck in such a negative place. I know my lupus doctors over the years have always asked how my life is going..marriage work etc. My first one who was excellent doc, explain how emotions that are stress or negative tend to come out with us getting sicker. So you are right to take care of yourself.
I can say this...try and really communicate one day with him when both of you are in good places. Only use the pronoun I not you...tell him how you feel and that when one is sick we do have shorter tempers etc. That you appreciate him helping or what ever you would like him to be better at...help cook some of meals or take you out.
Reason I am saying this...is for the last year I have kept my feelings inside about my husband who recently moved back in with me....mainly, i felt because he had to due to money issues.
Instead i finally told him how i felt he did not want me here and just 'put up with me because of his money problems'. Well, he had no idea that is how i had been feeling and he did not feel that way at all. In truth he said he has actually enjoyed being back living with me.
Our marriage in last 10 years has had huge problems that I say only reason we are still married is because he loves me enough to make sure i have decent health insurance. So being honest about my feelings was very hard...but now i am very happy i finally told him.
Who knows..maybe your husband is very worried about your health and wrongly it comes out in anger but as we women know...anger is one emotion most men are comfortable with sadly.
Or could be work problems..it never helps when mothers do not raise their sons to be considerate to all women not just them...nor do everything for them. A mom that truly loves her children does the hard work of putting up with their rants about doing chores, homework etc..in other words you teach them to be responsible,kind people and get it that their actions will have consequences.
I hope you feel free to rant and vent all you want.... hey i been doing it for last year like i said. Now i do wish i would have had the courage to be honest much earlier.
But you first have to take care of yourself! So let it out...much better than keeping it inside and eating you up! I hear you totally...i just wanted a place i could take my dogs and live by myself again...as scary as it was at first i really came to enjoy it despite all the extra work i had to do around this house. SO i hear you!!
. It’s just me and my faithful companion, my dog.