Depression is hitting me hard lately. Im sick of it all. Sick of the pain, the depression, the anger, the twitching, the tingling, the stomach problems, being fat, needing to talk about the same things over and over again. My husband and best and only friend say that they dont mind hearing it and listening but I do. I get sick of the samething all the time. I think that lately the depression is hitting me harder than usual because it seems like no matter what I do I cant lose the weight. I watch what I eat and nothing happens, add exercise but because I cant do it everyday nothing happens, so I give up. In turn that makes me depressed and I eat which is bad. I have been trying to get my mother-in-law to lend me her treadmill that she doesnt use but its the same old thing over and over im going to start useing it. Well its been like 4 years and she still hasnt started useing it. Also there are alot of people around me having babies, including my 16 year old sister. Thats depressing to me because its not safe for me to have another and its been hitting me because of all the prego people around me and we have been getting rid of a lot of our sons baby stuff. Anyway thanks for letting me rant. Hope everyone is having a good day. lots of spoons to all.
Jenny, I agree with my brother, give urself some credit, cause u deserve it, and stop being so hard on urself! YOU my friend are stronger than many, not everyone around u will admit or say that, but believe me, they think it! I fully get you, 110%, (Ha, that is my # lately I use ;)) Anyways, I am at a point where I am so sick & tired of feeling like this too…With weight, health, relationships, stress, you name it, I worry about it! Sometimes I wanna crawl in a hole & hide… We were dealt some tough cards, but we r still talking about it, right?! That says alot about who we are as people! We r warriors!!! Take a deep breath & know u are so not alone, look around here, and read about what we all r facing, it may be different, yet we r still so much alike too…Hang In There & never feel as if u r ranting, u aren’t!! YOU need to let it all out, keeping it bottled up , is not good for you…So “vent” all u need!!! I am here for ya! {{HUGS}} Suzie :0)
Thank you both! Im on meds for my depression too but they arent really working anymore. I havent talked to a psychiatrist in a long time but i plan on finding one next month when my insurance starts. A year ago I was able to eat right and exercise everyday and lost 50 pounds in a few months but then my husband and son and I all got some kind of stomach bug that was going around. Its took them about 2 or 3 days to get better and it took me about 2 or 3 weeks. After that I havent been able to get with it. I try to do the exercises that I use to do but it just hurts now. I know I can walk so as soon as I get my hands on that treadmil it is on like donky kong lol. I really wish that everything about me could reflect the way I feel in the back of my mind. Sometimes even the smallest things are so overwhelming. Its nice to be able to get on here and share my feelings and not get blown off. I dont know any of you but i love all of you. Thank you for helping me feel a little bit better :-) (((HUGS)))
I understand you completely. I am sure most, if not all of us with lupus, have felt the same way as you. You are not alone.
I get depressed a lot when I get bad flares. Mostly because even though my lupus mainly attacks my skin, it may be the lesser of two evils, you can see mine.
I feel like a monster and want to just stay home and hide, but I can’t. I have to get up every morning, throw on as much makeup as I can, and go to work.
I don’t have a husband or a child …two things I would love to have…and I feel looking like this, I won’t have.
I fight the weight thing all the time as well. It seems every time my doctors get the prednisone low enough for me to lose the weight, I get a bad flare and back to the high doses of prednisone I go.
It’s like a vicious cycle. My doctor even told me that while on high doses of prednisone, no matter what diet I try or exercise, it won’t do anything because my metabolism is not working.
In a way, aside from it being sad news, it relieved me a little because I didn’t get so discouraged and down on myself for not losing weight as I was trying (if that makes sense). It kinda took the pressure off.
The thing is, you have to keep in mind, as I said before, you are not alone.
As much as I get depressed from this, I just keep in mind that someone out there has it worse than me and I can’t allow this lupus to destroy me.
I keep my head up and put on a smile so the outside world doesn’t see how much pain I’m in.
But it is definitely understandable for you to feel depressed because lupus does suck lol
I just hope knowing that you are not the only one to feel this way, helps.
JennyR said:
Thank you both! Im on meds for my depression too but they arent really working anymore. I havent talked to a psychiatrist in a long time but i plan on finding one next month when my insurance starts. A year ago I was able to eat right and exercise everyday and lost 50 pounds in a few months but then my husband and son and I all got some kind of stomach bug that was going around. Its took them about 2 or 3 days to get better and it took me about 2 or 3 weeks. After that I havent been able to get with it. I try to do the exercises that I use to do but it just hurts now. I know I can walk so as soon as I get my hands on that treadmil it is on like donky kong lol. I really wish that everything about me could reflect the way I feel in the back of my mind. Sometimes even the smallest things are so overwhelming. Its nice to be able to get on here and share my feelings and not get blown off. I dont know any of you but i love all of you. Thank you for helping me feel a little bit better
(((HUGS)))
Jenny, I am glad you are able to talk about how you're feeling. I won't try to give you cheerful words because sometimes words that are too sweet are like a person throwing sparkling, broken glass in the path of a person whose bare feet are already cut and bruised.
But I am here and I am praying. If you want you can go to the journalingcompanion.webs.com site and pick out the worksheets that seem like they might sooth you---it is all free and if you want someone to share it with, you've got me. and all of us other butterfly warriors
Hi Jenny, I suffer from depression as well, as a matter of fact, my doctor just increased my medicine to twice a day instead of once a day. I also feel very angry, alone, and I am very withdrawn from crowds, and sometimes my family and friends, and I hope the change in the dose helps.
Do you take any medications for it, if not maybe you should ask your doctor, and if you are taking medication that is not helping tell them, sometimes you have to put your foot down and take control of your own health, cause the doctors know as much about Lupus as you do. I will be praying for you