What is the nicest thing anyone has done to you? It could be just recently, or a long way back that it has made such an impact that you won't forget it. I'm sure everyone would be happy to hear.
I'm very fortunate to have a very caring husband. He takes good care of me. One morning I was all set to get up and get myself some breakfast when he walked through our bedroom door carrying my favorite- french toast. He had the french toast,bacon and my chocolate milk (i love chocolate milk!) I asked him, "you made me breakfast?" and he said "yeah. i know you're hurting. enjoy" Then he actually left the room. He knows I need my alone time in the morning, so him leaving the room was a kindness on his part. He just let me enjoy my breakfast (he's a great cook by the way) quietly and waited til I was ready to come out of the bedroom to join the rest of the family. I thank God everyday for the blessing of a good husband.
In October of 2008, my job was downsized due to the recession. I had just lost my mother, and had pneumonia which laid me up for 9 days, and gone through a divorce in the same year. In comes my sister and brother in law with enough meat to fill my freezer, and she insisted on taking me shopping to fill my pantry. I was already in tears when she gave me the meat, and I said no you've done too much already. She said if I didn't go shopping with her, she'd go later and drop groceries off to me. I had gone through the worst year of my life - and my sister was there for me.
AWESOME :)
Trisha said:
In October of 2008, my job was downsized due to the recession. I had just lost my mother, and had pneumonia which laid me up for 9 days, and gone through a divorce in the same year. In comes my sister and brother in law with enough meat to fill my freezer, and she insisted on taking me shopping to fill my pantry. I was already in tears when she gave me the meat, and I said no you've done too much already. She said if I didn't go shopping with her, she'd go later and drop groceries off to me. I had gone through the worst year of my life - and my sister was there for me.
I recently had surgery on my jaw and still don't feel up to going out. My mouth is wired shut so impossible to carry on a conversation. A friend of mine from our church came by and we just sat out on my deck and talked. Even though it's difficult to talk without pain, I found myself doing most of the talking about my past and she was such a wonderful listener. She brought me some blueberries and a book to keep me company during the day as well. It was such a nice day to have such a nice visit from a friend.
Well, most recently my mom let me move home with her ( and my fur kids) because my own home became too much for me to handle on my own. I feel blessed. We all do :)
Hello, well just off the top of my head I would say the moment(s), that my family and close friends call just to say hello and how I am feeling on the rain ny days, even the days it don’ t rain!!! For them to show this corcerns really has helped me to deal with this lupus stuff so better !!! I really don’t know what would have been the course if they were not supportive . Thanks to them all!!!..Beverly L.
I would have to say it is my best friend of over 30 years. At a time when I thought my family would be there for me, they weren't. Even some of the close relationships I have had with my family are strained or broken. Sometimes it a week before I hear from any of them. It really hurts me that my closeness to my son is just about gone. I live alone and if I fall or have an episode, I could lay there forever and they would not know. My friend has stood by me. She calls all the time and listens to all my issues without complaining. She also gets me out of the house to do things with her. I don't know where I would be without her. Sometimes I am so miserable, but she sticks by me. I think friends and family don't understand the disease and the issues involved because it is not visable, but they should just take it on my word and the doctors word. I sent my son this website hoping he would go in and see some of the discussions, but he is too busy!! This disease makes me miserable and very lonely some times. I try to keep up on the grandchildens' ballgames and such (when I am told when they are!), even if I am feeling poorly. That doesn't seem to be enough for them.
Sorry that I am babbling! I very seldom leave a responds, but I do read the other people's. They have given me a better insight to this horrible disease.
Have a nice evening to all of you.
Sending soft hugs your way, Lonely! You are very fortunate to have a friend like her. There's an old Mideastern adage: "There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother... who is a brother born for in times of distress." Your friend proves that adage!
lonely and sick said:
I would have to say it is my best friend of over 30 years. At a time when I thought my family would be there for me, they weren't. Even some of the close relationships I have had with my family are strained or broken. Sometimes it a week before I hear from any of them. It really hurts me that my closeness to my son is just about gone. I live alone and if I fall or have an episode, I could lay there forever and they would not know. My friend has stood by me. She calls all the time and listens to all my issues without complaining. She also gets me out of the house to do things with her. I don't know where I would be without her. Sometimes I am so miserable, but she sticks by me. I think friends and family don't understand the disease and the issues involved because it is not visable, but they should just take it on my word and the doctors word. I sent my son this website hoping he would go in and see some of the discussions, but he is too busy!! This disease makes me miserable and very lonely some times. I try to keep up on the grandchildens' ballgames and such (when I am told when they are!), even if I am feeling poorly. That doesn't seem to be enough for them.
Sorry that I am babbling! I very seldom leave a responds, but I do read the other people's. They have given me a better insight to this horrible disease.
Have a nice evening to all of you.
Thanks!! I needed that hug!! Right back at you.
Happy for you, Beverly! Family is what we all really need. Sometimes we create one when blood relatives are not there at all. I hope everything's okay with you today.
Beverly L. said:
Hello, well just off the top of my head I would say the moment(s), that my family and close friends call just to say hello and how I am feeling on the rain ny days, even the days it don' t rain!!! For them to show this corcerns really has helped me to deal with this lupus stuff so better !!!! I really don't know what would have been the course if they were not supportive . Thanks to them all!!!....Beverly L.
Sounds like a really great story, Jujubee! Will you tell us more? Only when you're well and able.
jujubeee said:
One of my doctors took me back after his underling had released me. Long teary story. My doc of 8 years stood by me while others did not. A morning of crying was had by all. :)
Moms--how can we ever live without them? Thanks, Lulu.
Lulu said:
Well, most recently my mom let me move home with her ( and my fur kids) because my own home became too much for me to handle on my own. I feel blessed. We all do :)
Yes, Trisha, that is really a wonderful story!
Trisha said:
In October of 2008, my job was downsized due to the recession. I had just lost my mother, and had pneumonia which laid me up for 9 days, and gone through a divorce in the same year. In comes my sister and brother in law with enough meat to fill my freezer, and she insisted on taking me shopping to fill my pantry. I was already in tears when she gave me the meat, and I said no you've done too much already. She said if I didn't go shopping with her, she'd go later and drop groceries off to me. I had gone through the worst year of my life - and my sister was there for me.
We really surprise ourselves sometimes. Don't we Angelwing?
angelwing said:
I recently had surgery on my jaw and still don't feel up to going out. My mouth is wired shut so impossible to carry on a conversation. A friend of mine from our church came by and we just sat out on my deck and talked. Even though it's difficult to talk without pain, I found myself doing most of the talking about my past and she was such a wonderful listener. She brought me some blueberries and a book to keep me company during the day as well. It was such a nice day to have such a nice visit from a friend.
How indignant you must have felt initially, Jujubee! You're right: no one should be mistreated like that. I'm glad your specialist more than made up for that PA's indiscretion.
And thanks for sharing your story, Jujubee!
jujubeee said:
My regular pain management doc I've been seeing for 8 years was unavailable for my appointment last month so they asked me to see a PA in a different office. I did.
The minute I got there I was made uncomfortable. They took my purse and belongings away from me and put them in a room and told me to stand still. They came back with a urine cup and said the nurse is taking me to the restroom to make sure there is no hanky panky. I have NEVER been treated this way in all eight years I've been there. I've had occasional urine testing and it was never handled like this. I was made to feel like a criminal.
I take 27 pills a day, and many are "as needed" including short acting narcotics. I've taken the same amount of the same strength of pills for over ten years without an increase needed except during surgeries. This was one of those months - I had a surgery. I did better than expected and didn't need the extra pills. So I didn't take them.
Anyway, this PA comes over to me and starts asking me questions like: "Do you want to hurt someone?", "Are you safe at home?" HUH? I was completely hoodwinkled..had no idea why someone would ask me such questions. Then he said that my doctor wanted me discharged from the practice-(where I have been going for both radiofrequency ablation, cortisone procedures and shots and medications for eight years without a single incident. My doctor wants me discharged? He said Dr. blank wants you out of here and wants you to sign this paper right now! He kept shoving it in my face. Two other guys in white coats came and surrounded me and my eyes went dizzy and I couldn't even concentrate on reading what was on the paper. I could not focus at all.
I had a procedure set up for ten days later and I knew that they had not canceled it yet. I called and left a message for MY DOCTOR and it must have been intercepted by this PA Jerk that did that to me because someone returned the call from HIS office and not my doctors office. I ignored the call. I waited ten long days crying and weeping. Mostly because I felt the doctor/patient relationship I had developed and repore over the years was BROKEN..not for the medications. I was ok without them although at a definite loss of quality of life. For sure. In addition to SLE I have multiple cranial neuropathies, horribly painful (trigeminal neuralgia) and a nerve compression syndrome (bilateral carpal, tarpal, ulnar). He has been treating me for all that a very long time and we have a good relationship and trust. I've done work for him online-as far as start a petition to help out with some issues that small medical surgical centers are now facing. I cannot tell you how crushed I was and how long those ten days took.
Finally my day came with MY DOCTOR. I had planned and written what I wanted to say a million times. Instead of the firm voice I planned to use, my voice cracked and tears seeped from my eyes with every word I spoke. He told me that for the record, he NEVER said he wanted me dismissed or discharged, he had no idea anything happened to me until the night before, he got no messages I left and he explained the new DEA rules and I brought my bottles with leftover pills-to show him I had leftovers and my bottles say clearly- AS NEEDED.
I made my point efficiently about the as needed pills that it's not about the pills..I heard my voice still cracking. Very unlike me. I've never been emotional in a doctors office ever before.
His voice cracked too, and he bent down to the table I was laying on (having a lower back procedure- I do so without sedation) and I could see the freckles on his face he was so close. Then I felt his arms around me hugging me and the nurse who I also knew in the room doing the same. Noone needed to say anything. He ended up re-instating me and prescribing me a little less than my usual amount in case I didn't need it all so that never again would I have a urine test that showed not enough drugs in my system.
I'm lucky. I'll never forget how much and what it meant to me to be believed and treated with honor and respect.
Of all my many specialists, he was the only one who actually improved my quality of life. I see him every month. I am very grateful to him.
That's my story. It just happened this past month and fresh in my mind. Thanks for asking.
I hope you reported the PA to the hospital admin. so you or no one else has to ever go through that again. He should not be in the medical field. With deal with enough that we don't need to have any of the medical personnel being like that.
I am so sorry you had to go through that.
Have a nice day.
Hi, yes we do create family and friends as you sometime find ourself lacking some of the understanding that our real blood memembers don’t give /support at times. My doctors says that is normal, but am starting think now, What is Normal??? I haven’t been normal for a long time now-LOL…Beverly L.
I just know being here, I don’t have to explain all the time when am in pain…I love it
Armando Abrero said:
Happy for you, Beverly! Family is what we all really need. Sometimes we create one when blood relatives are not there at all. I hope everything's okay with you today.
Beverly L. said:Hello, well just off the top of my head I would say the moment(s), that my family and close friends call just to say hello and how I am feeling on the rain ny days, even the days it don' t rain!!! For them to show this corcerns really has helped me to deal with this lupus stuff so better !!!! I really don't know what would have been the course if they were not supportive . Thanks to them all!!!....Beverly L.
I’m sure it’s not the very nicest thing, but it certainly was adorable… A few weeks ago my new boyfriend texted me to say he was saving the first garden raspberry for me. A few days later he was collecting some for his breakfast before work, when he’s always sleepy and in a hurry, but still came back to where I was sleeping in and fed me some. He apologized for giving me one of the not-as-good ones and said he was trying to pick out the best ones for me. I’ve since done the same for him, and we both picked good ones for a friend of his visiting from out of town! Since the crop is done now, we still try to do other sweet token things. Of course being a new relationship there’s more of that, but it makes for many good, concrete reminders of care, especially during our first fight recently which was related to a flare I was in, me feeling he was insensitive about it and him feeling I was complaining too much and expecting endless pity. Something that helped him understand was saying I would love to be doing nice things for him if I felt well enough, and that it’s a clue into how bad I’m feeling when I can’t, or especially if I’m being negative or rude instead of sweet and optimistic. I think having the positive markers helps clarify how I’d like to be doing things if I could, as well as what I’d like him to dish up a little more of when I don’t feel well!
In general, one of the actual nicest things was what he did before we got together as a couple (we were friends for four years up until it finally “happened” this spring!) When I was remanded to Seattle by my parents who were sick of spending money on my expenses in the Bay Area, assuming the main problem was exaggeration/hypochondria and manipulation of them and also that my living expenses would somehow vanish in my hometown (not in their houses, mind you… No room for me with their 2nd families after remarriage), I asked if he was open to having me for a while in his spare room if I chipped in for rent. I encouraged him to think about it a while, stating I wanted to make sure we’d keep getting along as friends as a top priority… He later replied that he’d really prefer not to have a roommate in general, but the he didn’t want me to be “without a place to be” when I came to town, so I could stay with him if I didn’t find another option. He then helped find a few leads for other places, one of which worked out great as a free place dog-sitting for a friend of his. I spent about a month at his place, he finally made some moves romantically when I was house sitting, then took me back in to stay with him again (in a relationship now and this time I’m not paying… It’s a pretty abbreviated timeline for all that, but we knew each other well before and it’s temporary till I go back to school in the Bay Area. Then we’ll have to navigate distance and possible re-location!) His willingness to help and take me in as a friend was moving, and gave me a lot of confidence in trusting his care in a relationship (and man is it great to be fed garden-fresh raspberries in bed!)