Politely saying No

So my skin has been sensitive to touch again. It's been getting progressively worse for 2 days now, and this morning I woke up so tender that it hurt to put a tshirt on. So here I am at work, and of all days people keep coming up to me and patting me on the back or putting a hand on my shoulder. Tonight, I have a church dinner, and everyone likes to hug there, and as a leader in the church I am supposed to be welcoming and friendly, but right now I am miserable grump because I feel so horrible.

How do I politely tell people not to touch me without either a) offending them or b) receiving pitty..because I hate either one of those things.

Have you ever been put in a situation like this?

Which condition causes sensitivity to touch? I have never heard of this before and would like to learn. I would, try to avoid these personal interaction situations, until the sensitivity to touch clears up. What did your Rheumy say?

MamaMarshall

I have joint pain, not skin issue like you describe. Sometimes just getting up to give a hug causes me to wince. So the other person is going to know if they are hurting you, so just let them know you're having a bad day and you hurt and just shake their hand with both hands. Don't mistake another's person's concern for pity. If your church is open and caring and hugging, that is concern for you not pity. You can enlist a trusted friend to greet people with you so that an unknowing person doesn't come up and hurt you.

What do you do to help with this skin sensitivity? Love, Trisha

Hi there! Sorry to hear about your pain right now. I was put on Neurontin by my rheumy. He said it was nerve pain caused either by fibro or lupus. There are days that I just want to crawl out my skin. The neurontin help quite a bit.

As far as dealing with people who want to touch, I just say I’m having a bad fibro day and just shake their hand. Everyone knows someone with fibro so they know it is pain related. Like Trisha mentioned don’t mistake concern for pity. You may even be able to use it as a teaching experience if they have questions.

Take care,

wendy xx

Hi

I have the same thing that it hurt over all.When that happen to me( which is all the time) i tell people that my lupus flaring up and it hurting all over, andthey understanding it.

Wear a simple sign on yourself. "Please don't touch me...I have very sensitive skin"

Thanks so much for understanding! :)

I saw this work recently at church where a friend was having chemo and people were asked not to hug her. They respected the request with love.

Gabapentim (generic of neurontin) has helped me alot with burning sensitive skin. hope that helps.

Hello MamaMarshall,

I quite agree with faye...she's given you the best option without offending anyone.

Our bodies when going mainly through a flare go very sensitive to touching...so you maybe in a flare again.

Terri :) xxx

Faye said:

Wear a simple sign on yourself. "Please don't touch me...I have very sensitive skin"

Thanks so much for understanding! :)

I saw this work recently at church where a friend was having chemo and people were asked not to hug her. They respected the request with love.

Unshoreandscared, I am not sure what causes this, I thought it was just lupus, but I am doing a lot of research and also comments from the awesome people here are making me realize that it might be something else. Unfortunately I have a crappy Rheumy and am in the process of getting a better doc that can hopefully shed some light on all this.

Thank you to eveyrone for their responses. I know that concern and pitty are 2 different things, and I can usually figure out the two. Not everyone pitty's me, but there are the few that do, and it's hard to bite my tounge. Expecially when I am on a Steroid round..lol

As for doing things to help the sensitivy...Nothing. My doc doesn't give me anything for it, and I don't know what to do or what causes it , so I just suffer through. It usually is pretty intenses for 3 days to 2 weeks, and then it mellows out to where I can manage it again. It doesn't ever really go away.

I guess I just need to start being more open when things are uncomforatable to me. It's just hard, expecially being a leader in the church, because I don't want to come off cold or unwelcoming. I work with teens a lot and they always want hugs, and it's hard to say no expecially when they are going through something major. I am more worried about offending them then anything.

I really appreciate all the input

Hello MamaMarshall,

Sensitivity to being touched can be through a flare which i've already stated but read this link and it points other issues out which can cause it.

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/sensitive-skin-to-touch.html

Love Terri xxx

I JUST TELL PEOPLE THAT IM NOT FEELING WELL,I NEVER EVER SHAKE HANDS WITH ANYONE,WE HAVE A RISKY CONDITION AS IT IS..YOU NEVER KNOW WHO IS WASHING THEIR HANDS,JUST POLITELY TELL PEOPLE..THEY SHOULD UNDERSTAND...HAVE A NICE DAY...CELESTE