Open mouth, insert foot

General
1

I had a talk with our 24 hour nurse line to try and find avenues of help with my back, hip, and leg pain, and loss of ability to function. She asked for symptoms, I had to tell her I fell 4 days after the MRI (fell sat evening august 10) and when I saw my doctor first thing that Monday morning for the MRI results, he totally ignored that I had fallen and hurt myself worse. No exam or tests. I could hear the steam coming out of the nurse's ears.

She wanted me to go get checked out at the ER tonight, and I had to explain I was home alone, unable to drive safely on my med cocktail. So I go in the morning as soon as husband gets in from work. She also said a representative of our health insurance company would be contacting me, because of concerns about the quality of care my doctor is giving me. I may have without meaning to just really messed up a lot of people's lives. Or done them a favor, which I'm not so sure about.

I was simply reaching out to a resource, in my own evidently messed up way, to find help. I need to know what is wrong, and decide how to get the right treatment and get back to living, not struggling to get through the day and survive it. I have dealt with chronic pain for so long I accept it, but acute pain and loss of functions really throw me for a loop.

Life is supposed to be about living, interacting with other people, growing and learning, and being productive. I am so frustrated I want to pull what's left of my hair out. I'm not coping well with the "don't know what's wrong with you, take this pill" mind frame.

Is it too much to expect my health care providers to make the effort to discover the root cause and work with me to deal with it? If it is a "learn to live with it situation", then give me tools, assistive devices, helps, occupational therapy, training, physical therapy, show me how to adjust to living without the lost functions, whatever will help, and allow me to have some dignity and be treated with respect!

This isn't a pity party, and I'm not depressed. I am frustrated, angry, fed up, and in all honesty afraid of what the near future holds. I will not sit back and let this sad excuse for a body drag me down into the deep dark hole of depression and make me give up on myself. I deserve better than that. I'm doing everything I know of to help myself, from attempting to rest, eating clean, using de-stressing and relaxation exercises more than I was, and doing away with any stressors I can in my life, including toxic people. We have even put measures in place in our home to ensure I am less likely to fall and get hurt more.

I want to live, and do it well. Whether I'm around 5 more days or 50 more years, I have hopes and dreams yet to live, grand children to be involved with, skills I want to learn, classes to take, a book yet to write, a cottage industry company on hold until I can handle launching and running it, and a husband I want to not be my caregiver but my partner in adventures. We became and instant blended family from day 1 as we both had children from former marriages. With the children grown, This is supposed to be our time to just be us, and have the time alone together we never had.

Not sorry but I did write an entire chapter of venting here. Just do yourselves a favor, and be careful who you trust with your health care? What I am going through is senseless malarkey. But some things do require modern medicine to help us. Just watch the front door of anyone you consider working with towards better health. If it revolves, and they are always accepting new patients and losing old ones, look elsewhere. I am.

My husband's offer to move where there is excellence in care, especially as I am going downhill fast, is more and more tempting. And if anyone is considering moving to south carolina, please think twice. Really great doctors are few and far between here, as is any kind of support network, holistic or alternative health options, and your lucky if you have indoor plumbing.

weary and hurting,

Perplexed

2

Oh I am sorry you have a cruddy doc.

I have been on a couple sites where I have rated my docs. Perhaps you can use one of those to steer you toward a better one? I found that other raters rated a lousy doc I had as a poor doc too, and the ones I love get 5 stars....so I think that people try to be honest since doctor selection is so important to a person's health.

Wishing you an easy time of finding a better doctor!

Regards from Rosie

3

Hi Perplexed,

I am sorry that you are in so much pain and that you are having such a difficult time finding the proper care. I share your frustration with health care professionals (or those that claim to be professionals.) I have been pushing and pushing for answers and have not gotten them. I live in a town where my access to health care professionals is pretty limited. I have pissed off the rheumy because I insisted on an appointment to go over test results. This is the second and last of the rheumy’s in my area. The first one totally blew me off and said it was all in my head. I, too, am tired and hurting but I do not let it stop me. It slows me down, sure, but I keep pushing and pushing. I WILL NOT give up. I will move forward and I will keep searching for answers.

OSP, I don’t think that you are whining. Blowing off steam is a good thing. I hope that you have a better day today. Hugs, MB

PS. Indoor plumbing is kind of rare around here too! LOL

4

Perplexed,

With everything you go through, you have such an amazing spirit and personality. I love it!

Props to the nurse for being your advocate!

Unfortunately, I see a lot of "take this pill, now get out" kind of care from doctors. I have patients who complain about that all the time. Seems to me it's rare to get a thorough doctor who listens, examines, and provides you with plenty of resources. I am sorry you have one of the crappy ones.

Come to Maryland with me! I'll share my doctors with you. :)

Praying that you receive better care and are given access to the tools you need.

Hugs,

Megan

5

Perplexed, My heart goes out to you concerning all your issues. But you didn't mention one powerful tool, and that is a GREAT sense of humor! All the best to you, LupanCatwoman

6

You should not take on the repercussions that may follow, you were only trying to advocate for your own well being. Which you have every right to do, especially in this case. Let go of blaming yourself, not foot in mouth at all! Hoping you and your husband set a course that brings you the best outcomes possible.

7

I'm glad you are standing up for yourself! YOU are what is most important!

Lori

8

You go OSP. Be sure to find out who has good med care as I am beginning to believe it is non existent anywhere. I have now had 3 doctors tell me that rheumys and

9

Pain mgmt docs are the worst doctors to get thru to but the pain mgmt docs I hv had good luck with. Hang in there with your good attitude Gentle hugs

10

You employ the doctor, not the other way around. When I question whether or not I should be questioning what a doctor does, I remind myself of the saying "What do they call a doctor who graduated last in his class? Doctor." Never feel bad about expecting good care. You employ them! You wouldn't accept substandard work from any of your other employees.

I will keep an eye open for an update from you. I hope you find someone to make sure your pain goes away.

11

I would switch Dr's if your unhappy with ur care. See if you can see a pain specialist to get your pain under control. I don't know if there's any teaching facilities near you, that's where I go to a Rheumatology Clinic. You should see your PCP re your fall. Hope you get a better Rheumatologist.

We are lucky in So Ca to have excellent hospitals & Dr's. Good Luck to you

12

I don't doubt at all that you will get exactly the right person. Having spoken as much as we have I doubt that this situation will stop you for long.

Go get 'em girl, and feel better! And would you please stop falling.

Lots of luv,

DeAnne

13

Sorry for your rough time. Don't beat yourself over the head. Yeah to that nurse.

Keep up the good fight. We all have to "kick dirt" once in a while; whether it's the nurse or you.

Let us know how you've progressed.

You have to hold on!

14

Thanks everyone for the support and suggestions. have to be brief, need to lay down. ER said back sprain thoracic and lumbar, which means jolted ligaments and muscles. The ytook 7 standard xrays different angles, and even on those the degeneration of my spine showed uop. So yes, got a bum MRI on the 6th. Also ligament damage that will heal on it's own in my knee, the one that grinds and has no more cartilage left. Is the reason I fell. It gave on me as leaving the shower. At least my head didn't go through the wall, and me end up looking like some trophy mounted in the next room.

My Primary care is the doctor who needs changing, plus I need to add a rheumy, fired the last one for lack of concern and 30 second visits. About 7 who now take our insurance and are accepting patients. Phone calls with plenty of questions saves a few bucks versus setting up al those get to know you first visits.

I'm so sad others have had to go through this nonsense too. may we all find good caring competent medical care. Hugs, more when able.

Perplexed

15

Looks like you are handling it the right way. Years ago when my husband and I were looking for a new infertility doctor we made appointments and took a list of questions with us to interview the doctors about treatments etc. The one we finally settled on was an easy choice. He took the list of questions (2 pages!) and went right down the line and answered all our questions. Every.single.one. Then he sat down and went thru my paperwork from the previous doctor right in front of us and told us what he would have done differently. Was very open, honest and really listened. Very hard to find a doctor like that.


I hope you feel much better soon!