It has been a HUGE 5 weeks.... It was 5 weeks ago today that my beloved Diesel Dawg passed away from toxic shock secondary to vasculitis, ??? lupus. Since then, the vet asked me to see a dermo to diagnose the rash on my hands, so as we could see if there was/wasn't a relationship between myself and the death of a number of dogs over the the past few weeks, under unusual "perfect storm" circumstances. Diesel was no exception. Here one moment and gone almost the next. When the dermo diagnosed lupus, I was gobsmacked, just didn't expect that one. Then came skin biopsy, bloods (and the discovery my blood had decided to stop clotting), xrays, ultrasounds, the realisation that the 2 x women I respected possibly more than any other in my life were in fact fair weather friends and certainly not going to be there to support me when I needed them most. Funny how the phone suddenly stops ringing. I gave up smoking after 35 yrs......today is day 7, YAY, well done me!! Back to the dermo, more bloods, stronger ointment and cortisone meds. I feel like one of my dogs. The breed I have so much to do with, take cortisone like lollies, *sigh*. Waiting for a booking for the rheumo to come through now, and the result of the blood test investigating the lack of clotting in my blood. Still waiting for more information to connect the dots between our dogs dying and the sudden realisation that I am basically suffering the same???? What is this most bizzare connection???? I am however DELIGHTED to report that since being diagnosed and receiving cortisone ointment for my hands, I no longer awake with pins and needles/dead hands, which is honestly a blessing. I am also blessed to say that although my fair weathered friends have flown the coup, I have discovered the most amazing love and support from others whom I really didn't expect to respond as they have. I miss my Diesel so much. He was my best friend, my work colleague, my security guard, my taste tester, and my traveling companion - he went everywhere with me. There will never be another Diesel and I can't help it wonder if this most special dog actually "took a bullet" for me to send me off to the specialist to gain a diagnosis....I know that sounds odd, but then of over 700 dogs who have passed through our rescue org, there has never ever been another dog anything like Diesel. It would have been just like him to sacrifice himself for his mama. These are my thoughts of the day, today. 5 weeks since Diesel Dawg died.......
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::hugs tight:: That sounds like an awfully stressful five weeks hon! That is such a lot to take in over such a short period of time. Hang in there, and know that you are among folks here who understand completely. I grieve with you for your lost canine friend. He was very handsome. And kudos to you for giving up smoking! Keep it up! I am always open to listening if you ever need to rant, talk, whatever. You are in my prayers, that you receive comfort, support, and that your treatments serve you well.
Thanks for your caring across the sea's Talencia. It is currently 2.12am in my part of the world and everyone, human and canine are asleep....except for cortisone gal, and I am sitting here shedding yet another tear for the loss of my faithful companion. Not a big cry, just a tear, and your virtual hug is reassuring, so again, thank you. And yes, he was incredibly handsome.
There will never be another Diesel Dawg, but I am sure, at the rate of number of dogs who are dumped, there will be another dog one day who will steal my heart. One day when my hands don't ache and smart, one day when I can actually do some training with the dogs I have in care rather than to just teach them to sit and come on call, and that not all humans are bad. One day.
http://petloss.com/rainbowbridge.html
Regards from Rosie
Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge...
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food and water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they miss someone very special to them; who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. The bright eyes are intent; the eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to break away from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. YOU have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
THEN YOU CROSS RAINBOW BRIDGE TOGETHER...
Regards from Rosie