I am tired of suffering and the lupus controls me!

General
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HELLO EVERYONE, MY NAME IS MICHELE AKA MICKEY.

I HAVE A SERVICE DOG NAMED RUSH. HE IS MY BEST BUDDY. HE DOES NOT SEE ME AS SICK AND LOVES ME NO MATTER HOW BAD I LOOK AND FEEL. IF ANYONE WANTS A SERVICE DOG I WOULD YIPPIE GO FOR IT.

CANINE COMPANIONS FOR INDEPENDENCE IN OCEANSIDE CA. 760)■■■■■■■■ ? OR ■■■■■■■■

THAT IS ME AGAIN, I JUST CANNOT REMEMBER THINGS LIKE I USE TO. OH I JUST WANT TO GO HOME. MY GOD TAKE ME HOME. MY MOTHER IS 86 AND WE HAVE NO OTHER FAMILY. SHE HAS ALZHEIMERS AND I HAVE LUPUS, MS, FIBOR, CONJESTIVE HEART FAILURE AND ALL THE EXTRAS THAT LUPUS GIVES.

DEAR GOD, I HAVE BEEN SHARING LUPUS SO MUCH SINCE 1980 AND FINALLY IT IS DX. MANY PEOPLE KNOW BUT, DO NOT GIVE MONEY FOR RESEARCH YET. THE POINT IS WHEN SOMEONE IN THEIR FAMILY HAS LUPUS, THAN THEY BECOME SUPPORTORS. DID ANYONE KNOW THAT RICHARD DRYFUSS WIFE HAS LUPUS, AND MANY PEOPLE IN THE ACITING FIELD. BUT, THEY HIDE THEMSELVES. IT IS A SHAME THAT THEY DO NOT WANT TO SHARE THEMSELVES WITH LUPUS. I WILL NEVER KNOW WHY PEOPLE DO NOT SHARE THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE LUPUS????????

SOMEONE, PLEASE TELL ME OTHER THAN CANDA IS RESEARCHING LUPUS BUT, WHERE IN THE USA IS THEIR LUPUS RESEARCH?? I AM TIRED AND I HAVE HAD LUPUS ALL MY LIFE. MY FATHER USE TO THINK I WAS TRYING TO GET AWAY WITH NOT GOING TO SCHOOL SO I GOT A BEATING. THEN MY SISTER WAS DOING THESE BADLY AND WHEN I TOLD MY FATHER I GOT 2 BEATINGS ONE FROM MY SISTER AND THE OTHER BECAUSE MY FATHER THOUGHT I MADE IT UP.

WHEN WILL I GET TO A PLACE WHERE, I CAN REST FOR EVER. DEAR GOD, SOMEONE TELL ME WILL MY CONGESTIVE HEART FAILURE HELP ME TO DIE IN MY SLEEP OR WHAT?? THE SUFFERING WITH LUPUS ALONE IS LONG, NEVER MIND MS, AND FIBRO.

I AM SO TIRED AND I WISH GOD WOULD TAKE ME AND MY 86 YEAR OLD MOTHER HOME. SHE NOW HAS ALZHEIMERS. I CARE FOR HER. WE HAVE HARDLY ANY MONEY LEFT. SO, PLEASE PRAY WE LEAVE THIS EARTH TOGETHER. NEITHER ONE OF US WANTS TO BE LEFT BEHIND ALONE. IF ANYONE KNOWS OF SOMETHING FOR LUPUS PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

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love to ALL OF YOU

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Hello Mickey,

I don't have a service dog like yourself but my staffordshire bull terrier lives by my side and knows when i'm constantly ill which is a blessing.

By what you've said about leaving this earth and your mom because of what you both have and no other person there is really looking on the bad side of life...Never let any illness take over your life it's not worth it, we have so many members alone in life who keep fighting on it's all about positivity.

Regarding research of Lupus you don't hear of it in the UK but there must be something going on as they're using B&T cells which destroy out body for cancer patients and out of 12 children it was tested on 10 recovered ok....so behind the sceens somethings going on.

Please stay strong as i know it's a struggle and my hearts with you and your mom.

Hugs Terri :)

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Hugs…life is hard Mickey but dont allow your illness to be a part of your demise. Worry and stress can kill and although you feel bad now the next second may yield different feelings. Since you pray I am praying for you to have comfort in all you are going with clarity that it will all be ok. Stay encouraged and try and get around people who will help you see that you and your mom are worth more than allowing your diseases to define who you really are.

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 Just checking on you Mickey since you added your discussion. Hugs Terri xxx
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I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU BUT OUR FEELING AND COMPASSION FOR EACH OTHER, GOES BEYOND WORDS!!!! ((((((((((((SOFT HUGS)))))))))))) I HAVE A NEW PAIN MGR DOCTOR. MY ORIGINAL DOCTOR CAME FROM AUSTRAILA ORIGINALLY BUT AFTER 13 YEARS HE IS NOW IN ENGLAND WITH HIS WIFE WHO WAS THE RN IN HIS OFFICE. I JUST KNOW THEY ARE DOING WELL. HE SAID"I NEVER STAYED IN ONE PLACE FOR SO LONG". HE IS THE BEST OF THE BEST DR. PETER WHITE AND HIS WIFE SUSAN. I WISH THEM HEALTH WEALTH AND HAPPINESS. THE COMPASSION WAS FANTASTIC. I CAN REMEMBER WHEN I FIRST LOOKED IN HIS OFFICE. WHAT DID I SEE, I SAW A MAN'S PICTURE WHO RODE A BIKE FOR OVER A HUGE AMOUNT OF MILES, WAS SWIMING AMONG MANY OTHERS, AND RUNNING RECEIVED A MEDAL FOR BEING AMOUNG THE TOP 50 TO COMPLETE IT IN A SPECIAL AMOUNT OF TIME (AMONG THE FIRST 10% ALL OVER THE WORLD. I SAID TO HIM " WHY DO YOU DO THIS" HE SAID I AM A HUMANITARIN" (excuse my spelling I have been in pain for 2 days). WELL, DR. WHITE SOLD HIS PRACTICE TO A GROUP OF PAIN MGR DOCTORS THAT DO OVER 200 STOMACH PAIN PUMPS PER MONTH. FILLS, CLEANS AND REFILLS FOR ANYONE IN TERRIBLE PAIN OR HAS A DISEASE LIKE WE HAVE. I SIT HERE AND TOMORROW, I GO TO GET MY REFILL. THAN WITHIN THE NEXT 5 MONTHS, I AM DUE FOR A NEW STOMACH PUMP. I ALREADY KNOW I AM HEADED FOR TROUBLE WITH THIS NEW DOCTOR. HE HAS WAITED THIS MONTH TOO LONG TO REFILL. I HAVE BEEN IN SO MUCH PAIN, I CAN NOT SLEEP AND I FELL FLAT ON MY FACE IN THE APT. AND MY SERVICE DOG CAME UP TO ME AND PUSHED HIS FACE UNDER MINE. I JUST WANTED TO CRY. THIS DOCTOR THAT I AM SUPPOSE TO TRUST IS HAVING ME SUFFER A BIT LONGER THAN I EVER DID WITH DR WHITE. DEAR GOD, GIVE ME THE STRENGTH I NEED TO MAKE IT ANOTHER DAY. THAN WITHIN 24 OR 48 HOURS I WILL HAVE SOME TYPE OF RELIEF. WHEN I GET INTO HIS OFFICE AND SEE HIM, I WILL REQUEST WHAT THEY CALL IS A BOLIS. IT IS A QUICK DOSE FROM THE STOMACH PUMP INTO MY BODY. MOST OF THE TIME IT WORKS BECAUSE I CAUGHT THE PAIN AS IT STARTED. THIS TIME I HAVE NO IDEA. I HAVE HAD 2 DAYS OF HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I JUST WISH, THAT WHEN I FELL I DID NOT ALREADY HAD BEEN HURTING. THE FALL MADE MY PAIN WORSE. SO, TO DEAL WITH IT I CAME HERE. I WAS IN NEED TO SEE TEX 20 CARED ENOUGH TO SEND SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL. OH TEZ THANKS SO EVER MUCH!! I HAVE NO TALENT LIKE TEZ ON THE COMPUTER.

I AM LUCKY I CAN TYPE. SO, DEAR FRIENDS I ASK YOU NOW AND TONITE. PRAY, PRAY FOR ME BECAUSE I AM SO EXHAUSTED FROM THE PAIN. I DO NOT WANT TO EAT, BECAUSE THE PAIN IS SO BAD I WANT TO VOMIT.

PLEASE GET A GREAT PAIN DOCTOR, NOT GOOD BUT GREAT WHY??? BECAUSE WE DESERVE IT.

LOVE MICKEY AND SERVICE DOG RUSH

Tez_20 said:



 Just checking on you Mickey since you added your discussion. Hugs Terri xxx
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TEX I NEED GOD TO TAKE ME HOME. I AM TIRED OF SUFFERING. MY SON IS ON DRUGS SOMEWHERE IN COLORADO AND SAID HE CAN NOT WAIT FOR ME TO DIE, MY MOTHER IS IN THAT NURSING HOME FOR ALZHEIMERS AND I AM BASICLY BARELY MAKING IT THRU EVERYDAY.

RUSH, NEEDS TO GO TO THE VET ON TOP OF EVERYTHING. WHY??BECAUSE OF ME!! I HAD SOME PRESCRIBED CREAM ON MY FACE FOR BURNING AND REDNESS AND RUSH BRUSHED UP ON MY FACE AND WON'T YOU KNOW HE GOT IT IN HIS EYE RUBBED IT AND GOT IT IN BOTH EYES. THEY TURNED BLOOD RED.

I FREAKED OUT, WENT TO THE VET ALMOST 2 WEEKS AGO AND HE IS BACK TO NORMAL NOW BUT THE VET WANTS TO SEE HIM ANYWAY. THAT IS A TRIP, THAT IS LONG AND EXHAUSTING, AFTER I AM IN BED FOR A DAY OR 2.

SO, PRAY PRAY AND PRAY WE CAN NOT KEEP GOING ON LIKE THIS!! THE USA IS BECOMING A 3RD WORLD COUNTRY. OBAMA CARE SUCKS!! IT IS NOT ALL WHAT IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE FOR PRE EXSITING CONDITIONS LIKE US.

SO, HOW MUCH LONGER I KEEP ASKING MYSELF.

I GUESS THAT IS THE PAIN TALKING.

NITE ALL GOD BE WITH US WITH EVERY ACHE AND PAIN

MAY GOD GIVE US THE STRENGTH TO ENDURE.

MICKEY AND RUSH