So I am here…my hubby invited friends over to go to a car show tomorrow and I am still recovering from yesterday when I went to that same show to take picture of the cars… 
these guys are younger than me and I am struggling to keep up and I made dinner and cleaned up after. They just left to get ice cream and my other half didn’t want to get me an ice cream since I can’t go with them cuz we don’t have a car big enough for four adults and two kids.
I'm sorry but why couldn't he still get you ice cream even if you could not go? You know that getting rest and not over doing it is a big part of how you are going to feel. I understand how you feel. My kids always want to go do things and it ends up being just the kids and their dad instead of all of us. My husband asked me to go over his friends house with him this weekend and I can't do it. I have been in horrible pain for days. Today we are having a get together with family for our youngest sons birthday. I can't even begin to tell you how much things like this stress me out. I feel obligated to be normal for the sake of everyone else. Just remember that even though they may not understand you still have to take care of yourself. Just because you were not up to getting ice cream today or going to the car show 2 days in a row doesn't mean there won't be a time where you will be up to it. One day at a time.
Jenc443,
I am sorry that you feel like you are no fun. I know that I have seen several threads posted here where the topic has been some form or another of family support. If your husband would be open to it, perhaps he can go with you to one of your doctors appts so that the Dr. can explain your limitations and that you must rest or risk becoming more ill. Taking my husband with me when he can go has been a gift as he can ask questions, remember what I forget, but most importantly hear straight from the Dr. that there will be days I cannot do what I used to do.
Just the thought of having to walk a car show 2 days in a row is overwhelming.
As to the ice cream, maybe next time you might suggest that he go to the grocery and pick up several pint size ice creams and the "fixin's" and make a sundae so that you can participate as well. As it's not possible to know your husband, it's hard to tell if he was being mean or clueless. I find clueless is the usual state for our better halves and that they aren't being intentionally cruel, they just don't always understand.
On the bright side, you got a chance to get online and give yourself a little chance to vent.
XOXO,
DeAnne
Sounds to me like you are better off staying home...EVEN if hubby didn't make it feel good for you to do so. sometimes...better off...IS...better off...especially with Lupus.
Thank you for your responses. I so needed your support. 
I so need your help.
Whaaa?? You are the gal making life fun for them! Even if I wasn’t sick - I’d be wiped out after a car show and dinner party, and I’d be PISSED if then I was denied dessert. I hope he was joking or being clueless. So … When you have a bit of energy this week … Get yourself to the bakery & buy the valentine’s day treats you’re dreaming of, and then some perfect flowers. Smile & enjoy them together & treat yourself just the way you deserve. Men can be c,ueless
Oops - I meant to say - men can be clueless, but it’s hard to change other people. We can change ourselves though, we can create joy for ourselves first then care for those around us.