How Come Hospital Hanna Gots the Blues

General
1

I am soooooooooooooooo. Oh I don't know!

Everything was going so very well in the hospital! I felt "weller and weller" as Ann says.

The doctor's and nurses and housekeeping, food service, lions and tigers and bears: I was in Oz, man, not Clovis; I was feeling good too, not like this: click, click, click. Take me back! "There is no place like hospital, no place like hospital..."

But I was really sick.

But I started feeling so much better.

And everyone was cooperating.

No one made me feel like a loser.

People seemed to care about me, there took good care of me and I was getting better;

things were working out and working well, and I was treated well because they themselves were on the same yellow brick road and they were happy there: everyone perfectly cast for the role they would play...

and then "halt all Happiness Hospital Hannah!

http://youtu.be/XJoicgKy1Xw

Oh...wait: I get it.

The day I got home is when it all gets scary: flying monkey's, witches, messed up prescriptions, wasted trips, painfully taken in search of the stuff that helps me breath and such.

Long story short: I got a real tase of how good it can be to have the all participants work in balance, cooperation and harmony---

Even myself: heretofore the straw that breaks the backs of doctor's, nurses and every man woman or child in the kingdom.

Even myself, ( the Needy) was as essential to the going round of the dance as every other dancer: even the Kramer's amongst us: http://youtu.be/k13j8mm4Gk8

I was Hospital Hannah, so calm, so strong;

So what went wrong?

Is all lost?

Was I really getting well and is there hope for more wellness on the way? Or ?

I would click my heels again, but my ankles are so swollen; The ruby shoes no longer fit. I feel kind of sick.

Ya'll ever feel like this?

2

Janice,

Keep strong....all that's happened is reality as kicked in knowing your at home, where as you knew you had so much understanding in the hospital.

It's all down to STRENGHT & COURAGE...which you really do have. xxx

3

I am having trouble with my fonts on my puter so plz forgive me as I type cuz I can barely see what I'm typing...grrr Anyway, I do so know what you mean. It is like two different worlds when you're in the hospital and then you come home. In the hosp, everyone is there if you need them...I mean they wait on us hand and foot. They bring us our meds when it's time, they bring us our meals, they make our beds, walk us to the bathroom if needed....whatever our level of needs are they take care of us, and lastly, they have compassion and caring...I'm not saying there are not a small handful that can test our patience, but it's not the norm. Then we come home....and I know for me, it's scary becuz I've done it before. All of a sudden you're sort of on your own...I know for me it is anyway. Don't get me wrong, my husband is wonderful and helps me, but it's still not the same. I mean he's gone all day for 4-5 sometimes 6 days...and everyone else is gone too...except my 74 yr old FIL...who, believe does not help and besides he has his own health problems....long story. So now, what are we supposed to do?? We can't really afford to hire help right now...another long story, so here we are. I know that feeling of helplessness and the total feeling like why can't I just turn on the call light and the nurse will come?? I will be praying for you that you will find some sort of peace and calm as you adjust to the new world you're in now....the angels are there with you too...

xoxox

angel

4

man, you all are so awesome. I just woke up from an "i might be defeated" nap. I have tried ever since I got home to get the script for insulin and the right doses of prednisone and nothing: zip zilch zap.

So I figure...eh

Thank you all for supporting me in this weird twist; I hate going to the doc and being in the hosp for the most part, but you are right, it is a nice feeling to know that someone (a whole staff of folks) is there to turn to if you need anything. At home...so alone and all up to me...and I don't know if you can see this, but (sshh) I don't always feel completely grown up! And some one like myself is difficult enough for a grown up to take care of, much less a task for one of, hmmm, maturity deficit disorder...?mdd or waawaawaa cry like a baby: www.clab...?

now, nuff about me.

JC you didnt tell me you are a musician! What is the rest of That Story? please tell!

5

Ann! So glad you asked! That a one of the prototypes for what I hope will be a whole troupe of dancers and other delightful distractions for people tethered to an iv pole. The first one (not shown:( already given away:) was created when they left the backs of the ekg stickers on my table. I saw them and thought: "hmmm. Tutu." I I had a few beads in the bottom of my purse, a little tread and odds and ends and I made: Intravenous Ballerina. She hangs on the iv pole and has an almost invisible string that hangs through the top of her ponytail down through the bottom of her toes. a gentle pull of twist and she dances!

She was so pretty and fun to watch I decided it would be nice to make them and give them to people confined to bed...or to an iv or even to a crappy diagnosis that we can't shake.

For variety I will make kites (in honor of you know who) and fish and birds and Sasquatches

I will post pics soon. I would like to ask Ben if he can think of a way to offer them as Ben's Friends to use to some good end...or beginning..

Ann A. said:

OK Janice, my eyesight is getting "worser and worser" - cataract surgery on right eye June 4 - but what is that picture?

6

Thank you so much. I can almost feel the support of the pack through your tender concern. I am reminded of the way my beloved canine cohorts nuzzle one another after an injury or upset. It makes the injured one feel cared for. That is how I feel being the recipient of your kindness.

many many thanks

Tez_20 said:

Janice,

Keep strong....all that's happened is reality as kicked in knowing your at home, where as you knew you had so much understanding in the hospital.

It's all down to STRENGHT & COURAGE...which you really do have. xxx

7

i second your growl and ask for another. lol

when I went to the back to take a nap my big white lab, Lucy Elizabeth Labradorris joined me and she turned on her back (and both sided back and forth) and grwoowlowlowled and rocked twisting and turnning. I decided: I am going to join her. and i did. Sort of. I just growled. then I had a good nap and gave the anxiety over to God.

When I woke up I saw your post and felt so much better knowing I am not alone.

have you ever done "The Lucy Pose"? It is fun, and relaxing and sure to make ya gggggrrrowl in the most delightful way.

Angel312 said:

I am having trouble with my fonts on my puter so plz forgive me as I type cuz I can barely see what I'm typing...grrr Anyway, I do so know what you mean. It is like two different worlds when you're in the hospital and then you come home. In the hosp, everyone is there if you need them...I mean they wait on us hand and foot. They bring us our meds when it's time, they bring us our meals, they make our beds, walk us to the bathroom if needed....whatever our level of needs are they take care of us, and lastly, they have compassion and caring...I'm not saying there are not a small handful that can test our patience, but it's not the norm. Then we come home....and I know for me, it's scary becuz I've done it before. All of a sudden you're sort of on your own...I know for me it is anyway. Don't get me wrong, my husband is wonderful and helps me, but it's still not the same. I mean he's gone all day for 4-5 sometimes 6 days...and everyone else is gone too...except my 74 yr old FIL...who, believe does not help and besides he has his own health problems....long story. So now, what are we supposed to do?? We can't really afford to hire help right now...another long story, so here we are. I know that feeling of helplessness and the total feeling like why can't I just turn on the call light and the nurse will come?? I will be praying for you that you will find some sort of peace and calm as you adjust to the new world you're in now....the angels are there with you too...

xoxox

angel

8

Ann, thank you. (blush and shrug)

Ann A. said:

Janice, you are one of the most creative people that I have ever met. It is a pleasure to watch your whimsy at work.

janice said:

Ann! So glad you asked! That a one of the prototypes for what I hope will be a whole troupe of dancers and other delightful distractions for people tethered to an iv pole.

9

how cool that you got to do that jc! i know you are a big Bruce fan. my sister in law has been in love with him forever.
im sorry you had to stop bc of ataxia...
John "JC" Colyer said:

I was a band Technician ( Roadie) for 14 yrs for a Bruce Springsteen Tribute band, www.bstreetband.com , I was forced to stop because of my Ataxia

janice said:

man, you all are so awesome. I just woke up from an "i might be defeated" nap. I have tried ever since I got home to get the script for insulin and the right doses of prednisone and nothing: zip zilch zap.

So I figure...eh

Thank you all for supporting me in this weird twist; I hate going to the doc and being in the hosp for the most part, but you are right, it is a nice feeling to know that someone (a whole staff of folks) is there to turn to if you need anything. At home...so alone and all up to me...and I don't know if you can see this, but (sshh) I don't always feel completely grown up! And some one like myself is difficult enough for a grown up to take care of, much less a task for one of, hmmm, maturity deficit disorder...?mdd or waawaawaa cry like a baby: www.clab...?

now, nuff about me.

JC you didnt tell me you are a musician! What is the rest of That Story? please tell!

10

Janice,

Such a deeply touching way your reply was to us all...i know after being on the site i'd be lost without you all and the love and vibes you give off.

It's really lovely to know your back with us, as it shocked me when i heard you was in hospital. xxxx

janice said:

Thank you so much. I can almost feel the support of the pack through your tender concern. I am reminded of the way my beloved canine cohorts nuzzle one another after an injury or upset. It makes the injured one feel cared for. That is how I feel being the recipient of your kindness.

many many thanks

Tez_20 said:

Janice,

Keep strong....all that's happened is reality as kicked in knowing your at home, where as you knew you had so much understanding in the hospital.

It's all down to STRENGHT & COURAGE...which you really do have. xxx

11

hi ann, the site says they have removed the video...which is odd bc my youtube said i removed mine and i dont remember doing that...do we have a sichy-a-tion or just a coincidence? I don't know about computer oddities but it is strange that two in one day say they have been removed

Ann A. said:

12

God bless you; I feel the same way about you all here...one needs the exhale as much as the inhale and if one stops, well...

Tez_20 said:

Janice,

Such a deeply touching way your reply was to us all...i know after being on the site i'd be lost without you all and the love and vibes you give off.

It's really lovely to know your back with us, as it shocked me when i heard you was in hospital. xxxx

janice said:

Thank you so much. I can almost feel the support of the pack through your tender concern. I am reminded of the way my beloved canine cohorts nuzzle one another after an injury or upset. It makes the injured one feel cared for. That is how I feel being the recipient of your kindness.

many many thanks

Tez_20 said:

Janice,

Keep strong....all that's happened is reality as kicked in knowing your at home, where as you knew you had so much understanding in the hospital.

It's all down to STRENGHT & COURAGE...which you really do have. xxx