I had to call in sick again today. I feel a substantial amount of guilt about this. Wondering if any of you have ways to combat the guilt feelings and anxiety. I’m not big on medications so was looking for more natural solutions. Thanks , H
I can relate to this. I was a hairstylist for 27 years, and recently, had to retire. I was taking to many 'sick days' and the quality of my work was declining as fast as my health. The stress of all the missed work, fear my coworkers and clients wouldn't understand, and overall anxiety was so overwhelming. But, as I'm sure you know, those feelings can make flairs so much worse. My advice to you is to put yourself first. You are not a bad person. Your need for sick days is valid! Talk openly with your employer and coworkers. Give them info, so they can be supportive. Maintaining both your physical and mental health is your first and most important job.
Another point of view is to determine if taking a sick day will have any impact on your illness A chronic disease it is fairly common for us to have 'bad' days I always worked through my 'bad' days- staying at home laying on the sofa did not necessarily make me feel better. Sometimes the distraction of work can actually make you feel a little better. Really really bad days I would still work 1/2 day or so.
I used to think calling out of work was a bad thing and that people could tough it out. Well I work in a hospital and have seen my coworker working when they should be home. I think it’s a hazard and irresponsible to not call out sick. Your not at your best when you are sick, you’re work suffers and you are potentially exposing your coworkers to get sick. You have sick days that’s what they are there for! Also if your working during a flare up and have to drive to work you could get into an accident because your a distracted driver. I felt guilty about calling out sick from work when I was in the middle of a flare up. But I went in anyways. It was not a good idea I should’ve just stayed home I was useless. I couldn’t concentrate long enough to monitor a patient and there was no way I was putting on 10 lbs of lead and scrub in with a doctor for a procedure I could barely stand for 5 minutes. All I wanted to do was go home/see my doctor. No one really knew how much pain I was in because I looked fine just walking slower. I eventually couldn’t take it anymore and asked to go home/had a doctors appointment because all my joints were swollen and I heard a few coworkers making jokes about me faking it and some other not nice comments. So my lesson was learned it’s better to call out and rest, get back to work at your best, if not your only hurting yourself in the process. Plus calling out people don’t see you so they can’t judge and say you weren’t really sick.
I can relate to the big time. I’m a substance abuse counselor who had a caseload of 25 I came to the conclusion that I was no longer an asset to the organization I worked f I R and definitely not an asset to my clients I had to make the difficult decision to retire at 62. The blessing in that decision is I was awarded SSD and I also sell Avon for small incidentals. My stress levels dry cleaning bills and commuting expenses have decreased as a result. So it worked out for me. My boss told me that people have to recognize their limitations.
i had to retire at 40 ,before that had very little days off like the others i was not an asset ,i was a nurse and was putting pll at risk.the day i retired i was rushed to hospital from my doctors my bp was down to 40,i had a major infection the could have killed me, the thing is i worked the night by for,and i can not remember half the shift,ti scared me....i have tried most natural solutions,with no affect and found it more harmful ....i take 28 med and need all of them to make sure i stay alive to watch my son grow and give me grand kids... i am 42 now i have a back op and have nerve damage to my left leg and iam incontinence or urine and fecal,it could have been worse, i still need another one yet yippy it has killed off my adrenal system so i have to take meds all throw he day. if you have lupus stick to the med if you can so will be good with no side affects the ones that you dont like to tack tell your doctor.fearful is right recognize your limitation. and know by doing so you are not weak just wise.with lest stress you might have lest symptoms ,all my love goes out to you good luck ( just because we look alright others think we are fakers) pll like that are not worth your stress
king regards sue.hope you feel better soon xoxo
Small world I too am a nurse When I realized that I could potentially be a danger to my patients I changed my career to a desk job By recognizing my limitations I was then able to work an additional 20 years You are right though- some days I wasn't very productive but other days made up for it. I have severe lupus and complications but just refused to be 'disabled' Eventually I retired on disability and to this day my last employer still is asking me to return to work Even at not 100% I can still be productive but so much depends on finding what it is that you can do Not all of us can find occupations or bosses that have enough flexibility for our illness, sad to say
i had a great boss too, but when you look after other plls loved ones you have a duty of care.i was lock and took out 2 insurance polices one gives me a monthy wage and the other gives me a large payout..when i took them out it was to cover my son if anything happen to me as i was a single parent..that was 20 years ago i have lupus for 5 year.
poobie said:
Small world I too am a nurse When I realized that I could potentially be a danger to my patients I changed my career to a desk job By recognizing my limitations I was then able to work an additional 20 years You are right though- some days I wasn't very productive but other days made up for it. I have severe lupus and complications but just refused to be 'disabled' Eventually I retired on disability and to this day my last employer still is asking me to return to work Even at not 100% I can still be productive but so much depends on finding what it is that you can do Not all of us can find occupations or bosses that have enough flexibility for our illness, sad to say
I completely understand! I work as a kindergarten teacher and am on my feet, bending and lifting, walking around, etc. all day long. I’m also exposed to all sorts of lovely infections, all of which I seem to get. But I hate having to call out sick because I already have to take so much time off for doctor’s appointments. Sometimes it’s really all you can do though, or risk having a major flare and ending up in the hospital. Let me know if you come up with a way to combat the guilt and anxiety!
Check into FMLA (medical leave) to assure your job. I went through the same thung but, you have to listen to your body.
Heather, I do not have Lupus but was told at one point by a rheumy that she was sure i did. At that point, having been sick for so long, i joined Bens Friends so i could get some information, still no answers and 2 years later here i am, still sick and no answers. I rarely get on this site but am still a member and read your post. I felt compelled to answer you and tell you i was going thru the same thing, not only a loss of income due to illness i had to face the office bully. Not knowing what kind of hell i was going to go back to and the guilt i had for missing just made me sicker. If you have to work, and i assume you do, you are doing all that you can do, try not to feel guilty, life is too short and is it really in your best interest to be working. It wasnt for me,you have a very serious illness and so it is pertinent that you take care of yourself. i learned to do without a few things and found a way to stay home, some days i dont know how i am going to feed my children but now that i look back i cant believe i went through what i did and a light bulb went off thinking about how sicker it was actually making me, i have said often the mental aspect to me is sometimes worse than the physical pain endured. If you have to work, i would make it a point to go to your boss and explain to him your disease and maybe have some literature on lupus to hand out , good luck to you, just wanted you to know been there and done that, the anxiety i will never forget