Grieving

Lost my dad dec. 29,2012. Since then I can’t seem to get rid of a bad headache. I wake up with a headache and go to sleep with a headache. Don’t know if it comes from my grieving or something else. Nothing seems to take it away.Anyone else having these types of headaches?

I have a lot of Neuropsych symptoms with my lupus (migraine-like headaches, variable brain function, moodswings, etc.) and they are especially triggered by emotional types of stress. Take as good of care of yourself as you can during this hard time, and let yourself go through grieving as you also stay vigilant to how it’s affecting your body (as you’re already noticing!)

You may want to see your rheumie soon to discuss it, especially if you’re having other flare symptoms. Early tracking and treatment can make a big difference for Neuropsych lupus… And it’s always so hard to tell the difference between what’s cause by lupus Abd what’s caused just by the rough things in life!

Sending positive thoughts your way, and let me know if you want any more details on my experiences and research on this dreadful side of lupus. My heart really goes out to you!

Hi Rachel,

so sorry I can't really say or do anything that will assist you.

Just keep pretending that you only think of your Dad with a smile in your heart. One day it will be a little easier to pretend & one day it will not be a pretense at all.

Best wishes to you. Kaz xo

Hi rachel. Sorry for your loss. My dad passed away last april. I had lupus flares since which i didn’t recognize at first. I had bad migraines often. Until i had fever that wouldn’t go away… The rest was history. Go have yourself checked. Tell your doctor about that. It’s better to be sure than sorry. I hope you’ll feel better soon.

Rachel,

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I understand how you're feeling - I lost both my parents within two years of each other. When my mother died in '08, I developed a horrible, painful cough, and almost couldn't get through the funeral without hacking. I was devastated with her passing, and I ignored the cough, and finally at my family's urging I went to an urgent care and told the doc my back hurt so bad from coughing. I had pneumonia, and ended up with total bed rest for 7 days. I didn't know I had lupus at the time.

I agree - talk to your doctor about your headaches, don't ignore it. And I read something that comforted me - my mother died only one day, but lived 27,363 days. Focus on the days your dad was alive - not the one day that he died. Remember, we love you : ) Trisha

Hello Rachel,

I'm so sorry to hear your dad passed away and it becomes a distressful time...the headaches could be coming from loss and depression but we also get these with Lupus and with your health and the death of your father occuring ontop it could be combined and triggering them off.

The central nervous system as alot to do withe them and this link aso explains why :)

http://www.lupusinternational.com/About-Lupus-1-1/Central-Nervous-System-Lupus-Overview-/Central-Nervous-System-Lupus-CNS-.aspx

So very sorry for your loss. I don’t know if it’s lupus-related, but i also developed headaches like this since my mom died. She died in 2009 September, and i still have bouts of long-lasting headaches and even migraines which i never had before her death. They are less frequent now, but i still have these extended headaches. Perhaps related, too, is the sinuses. If you’ve been crying a lot, that could also trigger some hellish headaches. Again, my sympathies are with you. I don’t know how much I’ve helped, though. Wish i knew more.

Hi Rachel,

So sorry for your loss. I don't have a clear diagnosis of anything other than fibromyalgia, but when my father passed 5 years ago, my symptoms were extremely exacerbated for a good year. Stress and grieving can exacerbate any and all illnesses. Listen to your body, rest even more, eat even better and def get your doctor on board for the extra support. Hugs to you!!!!

Hello Rachel,

How are you feeling in yourself since you added the discussion...please update we when you can.

Love Terri xxx

Thank you all for your condolences, it means so much to me to know there are people out there that care and make me feel like im not alone. Headaches are still here. Have a doctor’s appt. Thrusday. Besides the headache now my toenails are hurting too. Never had this type of pain. So uncomfortable.

Hello Rachel,

Lovely to hear from you and at times like this we're all here to support one another...it's just a shame he's no longer here for you.

Well i hope the doctor's able to help you with your headaches....this link i'm adding carries a slide show regarding lupus and issues it causes and toenails are also on it.

http://www.rxlist.com/lupus_slideshow_pictures/article.htm

Please let we know how your appointment goes please.

Love Terri xxx

Hi !!! Sorry to hear about your lost of your father ... Hope that you are doing a little better !!! The headaches are from STRESS . When my favorite uncle died the year i got diag. it was about 2weeks with a headache ( nomatter ) what i did /or took it would not go away , i stayed in the bed , couldn't freally eat . Then my kids said , " uncle would not have wanted me to shut down like this" , so dealing with the 3 of them , i just started trying to live again !!! It may seem hard by it being your father , but do you think he would have wanted you to STRESS like that ?????????? pull yourself together and keep the memories close to your HEART ....Beverly L.

Rachel,

I'm sorry that your father has passed away. I know how heartwrenching it is and how it does seem to leave a big empty hole in your life, but it does get better with time. When my mom passed away, life felt so empty, like everything just stopped and fell apart. I cried and cried and had dreams all the time about her, heard her calling me when she wasn't there. That was nine years ago and now I still miss her but I know I will see her again some day in Heaven and that's that. I have all her good memories and her wisdom that she shared with me while she was here on earth. Not even death can take that away from me, so keep your dad close to your heart and he will still be there for you.

Your headaches may be from the shock and stress of losing a loved one. Big changes cause stress and stress headaches. I'll pray for you to get some relief. Things get better with time.

Hugs,

Ally

I am so sorry here about the lose of your dad, I have been there. I have bad headache and migrains, when I wake up and towrd the end on the day. I am on Imetrex (the genaric brand) it works best than anything I have tried. Check with your PCP or neurologist.

What Ally says is true, all the stress that come with loses. When I lost my mother and father I had the headaches and sleepless nights. I was giving a short term dose of a strong sleeping aide, this was before my diagnosis. If you speak with your doctor and explain what you are feeling this could also help.

I too, will be with be praying for comfort and healing for you Rachel.

XOXOX,

Rita

Sorry for your lose . Hope that you pull through this moment !!! I know it's hard to deal at this moment , but Jehovah will see you through it ...Beverly L.

Rachel,

Sorry for the loss of your father. I have suffered from headaches for a while. What do the headaches feel like? For me they are localized in one part of the head (left back) and it will be like a stabbing pain that will come and go. Some people describe it as a “shock.” The doctor has said that it may be vasculitis or inflammation of the vessels, as I have raynauds as well. I haven’t found anything to help with them. Lyrica might be a medication that could help with that type of headache, but I tried it and could not tolerate it. This is def something you should mention to your doctor.

Stress and grief can cause a flare of symptoms. You could have some inflammation that is causing headaches. I'm so sorry for your loss. piper and I still feel the loss of our Fathers deeply. For some the grieving doesn't go away. it gets less intense, but we learn to put one foot in front of the other through it. Allow yourself to grieve though, because holding it in could cause more flares.

Hi Rachel,

"Sheila" is correct about the grieving and her full comment in general....i ost my dad 9yrs back and it's only roughly been the last 2yrs come special dates and remembering him in general for who he was that i've managed to stop crying.

So please look at sheila's advice in good aspect in the way to cope and go forward :)

Sheila’s right. It gets less intense, but allow yourself to grieve. When i remember my dad, i let myself cry. It’s a form of release. I don’t keep it all in because i know if i do, a flare would just be around the corner. What i do is i keep praying.



Sheila W. said:

Stress and grief can cause a flare of symptoms. You could have some inflammation that is causing headaches. I'm so sorry for your loss. piper and I still feel the loss of our Fathers deeply. For some the grieving doesn't go away. it gets less intense, but we learn to put one foot in front of the other through it. Allow yourself to grieve though, because holding it in could cause more flares.

Yes let it out , cause a FLARE is no joke at all !!!!...Beverly L.

Piper said:

Sheila's right. It gets less intense, but allow yourself to grieve. When i remember my dad, i let myself cry. It's a form of release. I don't keep it all in because i know if i do, a flare would just be around the corner. What i do is i keep praying.




Sheila W. said:

Stress and grief can cause a flare of symptoms. You could have some inflammation that is causing headaches. I'm so sorry for your loss. piper and I still feel the loss of our Fathers deeply. For some the grieving doesn't go away. it gets less intense, but we learn to put one foot in front of the other through it. Allow yourself to grieve though, because holding it in could cause more flares.