When is it going to end?

Ok here we go. My hubby and I have been together for almost 5 yrs, and we’ve literally gone through the ringer. Prior to him and I getting together, I had the “questionable” Lupus diagnosis, and he fought Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the mouth in 2003. At that time he was married to a very non-supportive, selfish woman that wouldn’t even go with him to his radiation treatments. But besides the point he stayed with her. He was just glad he survived. Fast forward a few years, and I’m dating a single father with two young sons, and his health history already tarnished by the “Big C.” Four months before dating him, my world fell apart. My papa who was my father-figure, my buddy, and who I was the Apple of his Eye, lost his life to Small Cell Adenocarcinoma. I tried to not get attached to this man and his kids, but I fell in love with them! And very soon after, we found out we were pregnant. It was rough, from beginning to end. My OB was awesome, but my GP kept insisting I didn’t have Lupus and my body “just didn’t like being pregnant.” Thankfully God and my Papa blessed us w/ another healthy lil boy. And after delivery I was ok. But my hubby wasn’t. He had told me one evening while brushing his teeth he looked at his tongue and noticed a white spot on the side. The same stuff that was there the first time he found out he had cancer. So we immediately called his ENT and they biopsied it, and it was luekoplakia, beginning stages of Squamous Cell Carcinoma. Fortunately the Dr removed the surrounding tissue and stitched him up. But it always sticks at the back of my mind, what if it comes back? So then we got pregnant with our daughter, and again I was having a few problems, but not as bad as the first pregnancy. Post-delivery was miserable. That’s when my body shut down. Saw the numerous Drs, took different meds, misdiagnosed every time, and again no one would address the past Lupus diagnosis. It wasn’t until I saw my Rheum, who finally listened and reviewed my past medical records. After the birth of my daughter, I went back to work and I couldn’t physically take it. So of course I lost my job, and conveniently a month later, my hubby was pink-slipped from his job. So we had to sell our house, our SUV, and move in with my grandmother, who is a saint for taking us in. I just kept praying, things will get better, they just have to. Meanwhile my hubby and I didn’t have insurance, and my meds were ridiculously expensive. My family helped us so much. We are eternally grateful. Then in Jan of this yr, we got a call about a job prospect for my hubby here in town. After he lost his job he started truck driving, and it made us so depressed because we couldn’t see each other. So things were turning around for us. We found a house in the same area we used to live in and we have insurance, and I love my Drs. Now here’s the kick in the gut. For the past 2 mths my hubby has had pain that he thought was kidney-related ( oh yeah I’ve been w/ him thru his stone removals), but when they did the CT scan, it was clear. So w/ his history his GP referred him to a GI Dr. And he thinks it’s most likely a tumor in his colon. I’m pretty educated about the medical field, and kind of suspected it, but was in denial. So right now I’ve been worried out of my mind, and when no one’s around I just cry and plea w/ God to not let this happen to my hubby again. We just celebrated our daughter’s 3rd B-day today, and I can’t imagine my hubby not being here with me. I know I’m just jumping to conclusions, but I just pray and pray that everything is going to be alright…

Heavens, Tommie, you've not only been through the ringer, but flushed down the pipe and forced to swin upstream! I am impressed that you could take a breath and share all that, while maintaining such a grateful attitude.

I heard the same thing from my gyno each time I had difficult pregnancies. It wasn't until I kept miscarrying that I started hearing any number of odd diagnoses, but no specialist got it right until I finally got to a rheumy who took a 20-year history from me and confirmed his and my suspicions with a complete examination, including x-rays, genetic tests and bloodwork. Unfortunately by that time, I was sprouting a little too much grey to pop out human chicklets anymore, so I've made my Jack Russells my spoiled brats and they bring me almost as much delight and aggravation as we brought to my mother's life.

Not to diminish your husband's situation, because I know nothing about his particular cancer, but I know several people who've gone on to live long and productive lives after being treated for colon cancer, including my dear 89-year-old friend, Helen, who has lived for 12 years since her last bout. Not sure what kind she had, but she told me that her doctors said that there are a lot more treatment alternatives for colon cancer being developed all the time, especially if one is diagnosed early. She also said that Katie Couric's husband and sister dying from the disease, and Couric's subsequent work raising awareness about it, significantly raised the percentage of early diagnoses and greatly increased research funding for it, which resulted in several successful clinical trials for new colon cancer treatments. The largest of which was sponsored at Sloan-Kettering Hospital in New York, which is where my friend was eventually cured after it recurred several years after her first remission.

So between that possibly hopeful news, and Ann's wall shuddering prayers (I almost howled when I read her comment), I hope you can maintain your grateful outlook on your rich life while you support your husband through his next fight. Keep the faith, sweetie. Hugs, pj

Well I am joining in too...(((((Tommie)))....) I had no idea you had THIS much on your shoulders. I wish I could do more--

but I will be praying too.