Kind sounds like IBS...which could be caused due to stress of worrying about having lupus.
This is really more something your primary doctor or you can read about IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) on line and see if it fits your symptoms. BUT even if it does, still tell your doctors because you do not want drugs that can set it off.
One thing, i would not take pred pills every time i flared. Have you ever had dog with allergies or any friends? well one thing that helps is pred pills but it also kill your dog because it is so hard on their kidneys. Every time you take even just one week at low dose, takes over 6 months to get it out of your body...what a Endocrinologist told me who was testing me to see if my body was still producing it on it's own since i had been taking it off and on for years. Also, my brother who also had been on it as it was only thing to keep what ever auto immune disease he had( since kid in 50's to 80's when he died) bones of late 60 yr old in his mid twenties.
I worked through a lot of flares and of course if flare becomes life threatening you do not have choice but if it just matter of bed rest and eating well...than i say do not take them.
Energy...huge one, anemia but i have always been more tired with it. I get a good day at most now 10 days a year.....in my younger years it was few a month other wise it is just having lupus. I had to pick what fun things i did and learn how to say sorry but i just cannot or i get so sick i cannot get up.
So your kids are more than old enough in high school to be taking care of their rooms, laundry and meals except maybe dinner and even that every person could have night to cook including your husband. Go out one night or take out one night. Everyone should be helping with house and yard work as well.
If you are trying to work as well as do it all.....no way person with lupus even mild lupus can do it all for very long. So you might need to trade down to smaller house for lower house payments or not buy new cars very often...and if kids want designer name they save up and buy it themselves. So if you do have job...you can give up to rest more at home... it really did help me most when i did leave my job...just was very hard since i loved it and i liked being able to support myself....hurt my self esteem to leave it but improved my health and made life for all more enjoyable.
Actually, my friends most of them, tended to raise their kids like that when both parents worked. I did a lot more than what i am saying here when i was in high school plus had part time job. I still did plenty of fun things.
In fact one of closest friends i recall her 8 yr old did not have clean shirt and complained one am before school...she reminded him that his laundry was his responsibly and guess he had to wear dirty shirt....he never did forget again lol!
So this way you can rest more....and you will still have more than share of house work unless you can afford to hire maid...people to wash windows etc. If you have that luxury where you can afford to hire house person to help with meals and house work than by all means do it so you can nap daily.
I was better when i was able to try and nap daily and rest at home as i needed. I would put on show and do stuff during commercials than rest... or read a book and read a chapter to rest than do half to hours worth of work...but keep resting all day...and by 7 pm at night i was exhausted. I went out at night but rarely...but i was more morning person and i normally did not get home from work till 7....often so tired i just wanted to get bed.
In group, this is normal problem i discovered..some do more after work where i tended to do more early in day .....than i rested by 1 pm i have to start really watching it. I did go out dinner or movie nights with friends a few nights a month but not too often. I also ate so very healthy and tried cook most of my meals except lunches at work..but ate healthy and often tried to nap there.
If your kids activities are taking away so house work suffers ...well than just explain that you want to go and be part of it and all of them just need to help out a bit more. I get if you been doing it all than it is going to be overwhelming for your sons....in long run you will be making them more prepared when they do live on their own or just go off to college.
Hopefully you are wealthy and just can afford to hire people! You know money cannot makes us healthy but sure can make life a lot easier especially when one has chronic disease!
I am sorry....i know it not fun to say i am sorry but today i just cannot do it...and sadly there will be those days. I know breaks your heart inside but in positive way...you are teaching your children how to take care of themselves which is something very few us were taught....how to put ourselves first when sick.
I wish you best of luck and some things like prescription folic acid, primrose oil did help me a bit. Sure there are some teas that might help too....i know i saw some new ones that i plan on trying.