So sorry but your husband shouldn’t say things like that lupus is not a sickness for the lazy if anything thats obesity
I'm sorry your support system at home sucks. That makes it more difficult than it already is. I wonder if your husband would like to know some actual facts about his alcoholism and that his inability to cope and adapt to life could be one of things that induces stress for you which stress we know can help trigger lupus and cause flares. He wouldn't be an alcoholic unless he copes maladaptively. And ummm it pickles brain cells which causes loss of intelligence after a certain point. Sorry for being snarky but that kind of disrespect and lack of self responsibility God bless you sweetie.
THank you TR
I have to say I've had severe weight swings over the years and dealt with obesity myself. Newly diagnosed in December, a lot of things are starting to make sense to me, including my struggles with weight.
Ann A. said:
Dear delia quintanilla
Unfortunately you quip about obesity is just as wrong and hurtful as her husband's quip about lupus. Later today I am going to post a discussion that provides you with more up to date information on obesity. Then you will be able to refrain throwing around quips that hurt people because you lack information.
When I have completed the post, I will come back here and provide you with the link. I am sure that you thought you had the facts and that you were unaware of the fact that your quick "snap" might be hurtful to the many people lupus who suffer from obesity and are definitely not lazy."
Thank you Querida
Ya know…I when I read that,
I sort of thought the same thing.
I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt that is was just “off the cuff” and she really didn’t mean it that way. Just yesterday, I saw an obese person walk by my car while I was parked. I’m technically in the obese catagory myself but not overboard if u know what I mean. But now having the affliction of lupus, my first thought was, “I wonder if there is anything wrong with her.” I put on 50 lbs. with this illness and prednisone. I’m anything but lazy. And just figured my eyes are open a lot wider now. People have all kinds of stuff and we never know why they are the way they are. Lots of “silent diseases” out there.
I always attributed my symptoms to PTSD & Depression and never really knew what Lupus was
Steen said:
Ya know...I when I read that,
I sort of thought the same thing.
I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt that is was just "off the cuff" and she really didn't mean it that way. Just yesterday, I saw an obese person walk by my car while I was parked. I'm technically in the obese catagory myself but not overboard if u know what I mean. But now having the affliction of lupus, my first thought was, "I wonder if there is anything wrong with her." I put on 50 lbs. with this illness and prednisone. I'm anything but lazy. And just figured my eyes are open a lot wider now. People have all kinds of stuff and we never know why they are the way they are. Lots of "silent diseases" out there.
Thanks
tjmckay said:
Selfish smh.. Pray for your husband & for God to deliver you for evil (him). I broke my 4 year relationship off from my ex when I started getting weird systems and stressing out after he decided to move to another city for his masters degree without. He showed me too many signs of being selfish and not being supportive of me so, I had to make my owe decisions for my future, children & health. That was to drop his selfish aas and be stress free, it was the best thing I've done for myself in years, I don't regret it at all.. 5 months after that I was dx with lupus and thats when I know I'd made the right decision bc he didn't care or call me to show any sympathy nor support.. And I returned the favor.
Thank you Jen
Jennifer said:
I wish he was right! Im gonna run right out and get gainfully employed & be lupus an sjogrins free!!! I'm so sorry. Maybe you have lupus because, you got a shitty hand delt to you. I have a friend that says I blame everything on lupus... um that's because almost everything I can't do is because of lupus. Has he even read anything about lupus? Do him a favor, print up some info... tell him he can't understand if he doesn't know what you deal with. I know you can't make him, but you could ask. If that doesn't work have him go to your Dr Apts with your rheumy. My mom was skeptical till I made her come with me. People can be so insensitive. Especially if they are in the dark about something or in denial. Good luck to you. Hope he realizes soon that this isn't a choice.
Omg how could he say that. My doctor said it’s because I’ve battered my body by doing too much. I was working 60hrs a week running a home had two children and never stopped. That’s why I’m ill. Good luck x
Thanks ~ Yes Ive been raising children my whole life starting with my little brother, and then my own 4. Now I've been stepmother to his 2 teenage sons for 3 years & I was also told that I wasn't good at that either in the same conversation.
Charlie said:
Omg how could he say that. My doctor said it's because I've battered my body by doing too much. I was working 60hrs a week running a home had two children and never stopped. That's why I'm ill. Good luck x
Thank you
kaycie francis said:
ThankI'm so sorry that he said that to you. You know, people are ignorant and stupid enough without alcohol in the picture. Please know that we are here for you and we understand!!!
I'm just amazed at the dignity of the members of this group. Couldn't get any better!
You got to hold on.
When I saw the second word "alcoholic" it was like I knew the story before I started reading. Wow. . .seems like he's dumping his problems on you.
Well I hope you don’t take it to heart. Alcoholic husband says it all. Had one of those myself. I wouldn’t listen to him when asking what day it is. Stress is very bad for lupus. Makes it much worse. More likely if you hadn’t married him you wouldn’t have lupus. Might not be true but more likely than his version!
Thank you so much for posting this discussion. I'm sure your husband was on his best behavior when you first married him. More often than not, they are the ones that change the rules. Next thing you know you're married to some creep you wouldn't have looked twice at. Of course it may have been different for you JSunshine.
My husband was wonderful for the first two years. Then he stopped helping with anything and expected me to do everything. When he started to fool around behind my back I started to feel very insecure and just tried harder to please him. What an idiot! Lol
If I ever did anything to enhance my life he would say "Boy you're selfish, you are only thinking of yourself". Well Yes!
Who else would? Not him that's for sure. However I was stupid enough to not look after myself and the stress left me exhausted. God says - Love Self
He is the same age and still training horses. He's not the one sick. Doh! I had better get a job too. Lol
Kittyhorse
OMG! You poor thing. MEN SUCK! Please be strong and know you are not alone! Lots of love and hugs your way
Definitely agree with dkel9307, there's lots of good guys to replace the bad ones! I was really blessed to have 2 big brothers to show me how a "real man" takes care of his loved ones and now I had a wonderful partner, they thought me to set my relationship bar very high.. on the other hand I've gone through my fair share of crapy boyfriends and 1 exhusband , it all balanced out lol:)