I was in the hospital yesterday and these words came pouring out of me. Just thought I’d share. Happy Easter weekend everyone!!
You’ve been there at my worst
drained of life, filled with desperation
helpless and hopeless
I think you relish in the thought
The dreams and aspirations I once had
have been diminished
Now I only dream of normalcy
I dream of simple days before you came
An unassuming boy came along after you
with his jokes and sweet boyish charms
he helped me to forget you for a while
and I lost myself in him
But I should have known better than to think
that you would disappear quietly
You resurfaced without warning
in my joints, in my blood
Oh, how clever you are
making yourself invisible to others
when I know the signs of your presence
all too well
My face flushes with redness
my body is stiff with fear
each breath I inhale
brings a sharp pain of sorrow
And there you are once again
taking a hold of me, mind and body
the mind that you have jaded
the body you have turned against me
I can never predict your actions
but I’ve come to learn some things
when I’m strong, you are silent
when I’m well, you are calm
I want to detest you
for making me vulnerable
but i want to thank you
for the person you’ve made me
I am strong, I am resilient
I am brave, I am compassionate
I’m spontaneous, I am carefree
I am beautiful, I am me
Yes I’m still me
though you scare me at times
you may ravage my body
but my soul is still mine
While you thrive on my fear
I still cling to my hopes
my mind is laden with thoughts of you
I release in my tears
I pray I can always laugh and smile
I pray you will never take my dignity
I pray for the others who suffer as I do
I pray that you won’t be the end of me
