so i'm not sure if it's just the stress of everything that's happened with my diagnosis this last month, if it's the new meds messing with my brain, or if it's the lupus itself, but where the hell did my memory go? i have totally screwed up our finances this month because i can't seem to keep track of what i'm doing from one hour to the next. i feel like i'm going crazy. and the banking and bills is just part of it. picking up the kids at the right times, appointments, work... i feel like dorey from finding nemo, or at least the village idiot.
My husband is doing all of the finances now. After teaching for years, some simple chores became complex and I had to admit I wasn't up to it. Once I got out from under the pressure, it seemed to get better.
I do rely on a calendar to keep track of appointments and routine things I did without thinking.
The more stress you put on yourself, the harder it is. Sit down with your hubby and share your heart and ask for his help. It will settle down. You just have a lot coming at you now with the new diagnosis, new meds, etc.
Take some time for yourself....a warm bath to relax, a walk, read a book, sit and stare at the sunset and be still. Better days are ahead. You will be able to handle it. Stay strong as JC says!
thank you Faye. i was totally freaking out and I must say my amazing husband is being so wonderful. we sat down and wrote everything down on the calendar, he's doing some scrapping this weekend to make up for my financial blunders, and he's not even mad. he's been so great but i feel like i'm disappointing him. this whole month has been such a storm of emotions. thank you again for your support. i definitely need a break. hopefully soon.
Scary when it all "hits"... and learning to ask for help.. but somehow we get through it.. the stress of the situation only adds fuel to the fire, for the memory mess ups. Be thankful for your husband and family...that is so very important. Imagine what it would be like without their support? Now that is scary! Acceptness of having lupus is the begining... that way you dont expect the unatainable. It's a huge life lesson- accepting what is happening to our body and mind but, somewhere in the process we let go of the not so important things. It's so important to love what is, and not beat yourself up for what is happening out of your control. I hope that things mellow out for you, take care of yourself and try to let go of the stressors...
I think our brains are designed to hold a certain amount of info and a lupus diagnosis is serious info overload. I think we have all been there and when you become a little less overwhelmed it should improve a little. I think we all continue to suffer from “lupus head” but with time learn to manage it. You will now need lots of calendars and post it notes!!! Just laugh along when your kids tease you for asking them the same question over and over again ;). As if mommy brain isn’t enough now you throw in lupus head and you find yourself walking and talking in circles!!! Most important you are not alone
I have the same problem and it came out of no where!! I had been in banking for years and could remember clients names and acct numbers, it was what I did...but mine didn't hit until I had been diagnosed for a few years. My dear husband bought me a smart phone so that I could keep up with appts and such but the worse was when I had to start setting an alarm to pick my kids up from school!! I felt like the worst mom in the world and still when I ask my kids or husband something and they look at me and say "Mom, you ask me that already"...it make me feel like I'm going nuts!! But you learn to deal with it and no one pays attention when you ask the same questions two days in a row :-)
I have a day planner that is my life line. I keep everything in it when bills are due, when meds need to be reordered, grocery lists, doctors appointments because if I dont write it down when I am thinking of it poof its gone. I feel your pain. Take care sweetie
Yes, I feel this way at times. I have to keep 3 notebooks. One for money/bills, one for shopping and 1 for all appointments. I set up all the bills that I could on online auto debit payments. I have a master calendar on my cell phone and program all of it when I can. I do not have the option of my husband lately as he is on a huge project for work. Most days I feel like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, trying to remember the way home... LOL
CONT- keep your spirits high, laugh at your mistakes- then move on. Life is short. What mistakes you are minor. Stress will worry you and make Lupus flare ups worse. At least that is what happens to me. Much luck and better health!
I feel you, lately i've been zoning out while i'm driving. When i snap out of it i've no idea where i am or how i got there. Not holds my attention for long. It comes and goes but gets worst when i'm stressed out,asia64
Honey, you are definitely not the Village idiot! I think we all relate to your post, thank you for starting this : ) I TOTALLY understand you, I was posting the same things not long ago myself. I'm a newlywed, and luckily my husband has always taken care of the bills from the get go. I would forgot to follow up on things, mail things he'd asked me to and forget appointments, or I am great at over-scheduling us : p My kids are ADD/ADHD and my husband would ask me if I could be, because I can't remember and follow through, and lose concentration with things. It was a great source of frustration to him, especially as we were still trying to get adjusted to married life, and instant kids for him.
As I sit here at my desk, I look up at the Family Calendar with a colored pen (mine is purple my favorite color) for each member of the family, including the dogs. ( Yes, the two dogs have their own colors) I use this as my lifeline, and I coordinate with the calendar on my phone. My son writes his work schedule down for me in his colored pen. He went a week without writing it down, and I kept asking him what time he got off, and arrived late to pick him up a few times, so he's back to writing his schedule down again. Today, I finally organized my desk. I put things away in folders, labeled them and I can actually find things now. I have a notebook in my purse so I can write things down, while I'm at work so I can remember it later. I have sticky notes here and at work, I can put a sticky note on my workstation and write things down without them accusing me of doing "personal" stuff instead of work, and keep it out of sight. Then I just put the sticky note in my notebook and have it handy.
I have my prescriptions on autofill, and the pharmacy will notify me if I don't have refill left, and will contact my doctor and get it for me if I request it. That way I don't use up all my break or lunch time at work on hold waiting to get thru to a doctor. What little time I have at work, I need to rest. I don't have little ones at home, and the pharmacy put a note in my file to not put childproof caps on, because I have a hard time opening that.
Thanks again for starting this discussion, and take heart that you don't have to change your name to dorey : )
OKAY disarraycarr, 1st- clam down and yes you are having a brain fog moment,BUT it is okay !!!! It happens and yes it does make you feel as though you are going CRAZIE or that you are crazie , but it only last for a couple of days ( sorry to say ) !!!! 2nd- it will be alrigh just make sure that SOMEONE knows what is going on so that they can help with the kids ( please take care of this for the sake !!!! smile) ,3rd - JUST RELAXE and focus on one thing at a time ONLY !!!!!! 4th- GET / take power naps if possible though the day (20to 30 min. mind breakes help ) hope that this helps !!!! Beverly L.
You are all so amazingly nice. Thank you so much for all your support. I got to sit down with my husband last night. We filled out a calendar and he's being so understanding. I am blessed. I feel a little better about things today. It's going to be a huge adjustment for me to let others take the reins on certain things. Makes me feel un-needed I suppose. This whole thing is going to be a huge learning experience. Thanks for the love. I'm gonna need you guys a lot, I think. :)
When one door closes, God opens another : ) You are needed to do other things, let others help you. This is a huge learning experience for you and your family. Last night, I drove to pick up my son from a friend's house - and I explained I can't do that anymore. It was so dark, and I really had a tough time seeing, I drove past the house. He drove home luckily, and even stopped and bought me dinner. After we got home, I told him I hurt and he said " I'm sorry." Two little words meant so much to me : ) We are here for you always to say "I'm sorry." We understand, and we love you. Trisha
Hay dizzzlynn, that's what we are here for ," The SUPPORT "- , to help with advice of knowning that we (you ) are not alone with, Living with LUPUS !!!!! God Bless you and yours - it's going to be OKAY !!!!... Beverly L.
If this is how the lupus is affecting you badly at the moment...important issues like sorting bills etc out i'd hand it over to your hubby to deal with until your mind feels more stable.
When Lupus gets at we mentally then with brain fog alone it can really mess up our capabilities in coping how we should...it's niot making you look like less of a partner/wife to deal with situation's but it's better to be safe than sorry, as i'd soon do it.
