Hello,
Here is an update on how today went.
Basically, I LOVE my new rheumy. He is so nice and understanding and he actually GETS my frustrations with other doctors. He said no-doubt-about-it that I have Lupus with Sjogren's syndrome. He didnt buy the bullpoop excuses about my kidneys that other doctors tried to tell me. So, now I get to have a whole new team of specialists (i.e. cardiology, nephrology, and ophthalmology). I am sad, in a way. I did like my old rheumy. :( He cares so much about me - but then again, so does this other doctor. The new doctor spent two, yes TWO, hours with me just discussing everything about my lupus. He didnt think I was crazy when I told him that my nails turn purple occasionally. In fact, he actually agreed with me and scheduled a pulmonary function test! The best news of all.. HE asked me if I wanted to become his patient. *smiles* I think he just likes that fact that I pay attention to what he says and that I like learning about medicine. He talked about the possibility of starting Cellcept and I was like "ohhh I like you...". Obviously we cannot keep me on the prednisone much longer because it is risky for my health.
On another note, I broke a new personal record for blood draws today. Today they took TWELVE vials of blood; and Im not talking about tiny vials either... The good news is that the place my old lab usually sends them to, is the university that I am at. So I should have the results of all of the lab work sooner rather than later.
There is one other thing....
Today put a lot of things into perspective for me. I realized that I really am legitimately sick. My heart issues are real. My kidneys are spilling protein. I am not crazy, but I am really sick. Its comforting and disturbing at the same time, knowing that I am sick. I guess I realized that there is a possibility that I may not be able to overcome this. There is a chance that I may never get into remission, and I have to be okay with that.
I have to be reasonable about my chances of getting into uofm and my chances of becoming a doctor at all. So, today I realized that, while being a doctor is my dream, perhaps being a nurse is a more practical approach. There is so much more leniency with nursing versus the rigor of eight years of schooling. I dont know how my health is going to be four years from now. I could be okay, or I could be worse. This is why I am choosing to apply to nursing. I truly do love medicine and I love helping people so it really doesnt feel like a sacrifice deciding to be a nurse. After all, nurses are smart! They are just as knowledgeable as doctors, and often do twice the work.
In the end, today I am peace with my choices. I think that I can be happy and that I am in good hands medically. I think god smiled on me and gave me this doctor because of how stressed out and sick I am becoming. It is my senior year this year and I would like to enjoy it! So I am letting go of the stress, and dipping into a soothing bubble bath. :)
I wish you all the best of health!
Teenlupus101