Almost killed with kindness

This is something I struggle with: Toning down my compliments. When I love, I love and I am prone to express myself without reservation. But I am learning that sometimes compliments can actually crush the one they are lavished on.

Case in point: My friend Marcy is a saint. She takes communion to shut ins and visits people in hospitals and cooks, cleans and serves for the altar society...she washes linens for the church and unlocks the church for prayer groups and all that is before she gets around to the work she has caring for her own house, yard and animals and attending her grand daughter's track meets. And she is so sincere and so honestly tender with one and I wrote a letter to express my gratitude and it caused her to wilt before the weight of compliments.

She was visibly suffering from the compliments; I knew instantly that I had made her more uncomfortable than she would have been if I'd forgotten to say thanks.

So now, at her request, she said a simple Thank You will do. She loves to be appreciated she said, but too much thanks is hard to bear.

So how do we do it? how do we balance true gratitude, admiration, etc ect without killing our poor "victim" with kindness?

Hi Janice,

Your friend Marcy does want admiration, although what she does makes her look like a saint in what you've said...she does this out the goodness of her heart and expects no appreciation for it.

If someone does something for you or other people they do it because they want to and there's only one way of showing it by saying thanks/ thank you....that's the one way of showing gratitude and admoration.

That's why when you was supporting me about my saw me putting thank you alot because what you was doing was giving full support in a full way in which i needed it and that's by standing by someone when they need support and they know you was genuine from the heart

I'll say it again your one marvellous woman Janice. Love Terri xxx

I agree with Tez_20, Janice you are a wonderful woman. You always have a way of saying the right thing at the right time. With that being said some people just can handle only so many compliments and now that she has expressed that you know where she stands but I (personally) look forward to your compliments words of encouragement and overall expressions of positive thoughts. It is hard to find that balance between gratitude, admiration, etc., but that is who you are acknowledging all that she does and trying to let her know how much she touches everyone. Anyway from the bottom of my heart "THANK YOU" for all youl do.

Hello NuDirection,

It is hard to find the right balance in showing appreciation with alot of people and how you like compliments and encouragement alot of people don't like it.

Janice though is one "Ace" person and since i joined always willing to give the right support to member's although she's ill herself and to me that's one genuine person. xxx

omgoodness ya'll i just saw these posts and i am so flattered...not really flattered, but feel loved. Thank you so very much for your kind remarks...i feel like I just got a hug.

(((((thank you!)))))


Thoughs words are true from the heart off myself and you carry so many falued qualities and there's not many carry those in todays society.

When i hear people speak of suffering and we're so many miles hurts so much as, all you want to be is by them and give love and support through their hard times.

((Your such a wonderful woman)) xxx